how do you handle the fact that while your struggling with a very difficult life, battling loneliness & mental

Question

health problems, that there are people outhere indulging in happy, fullfilling lives, getting their needs met, getting their rocks off sexually....having fun....indulging in weird and wonderful experience..
while im battling on alone in life, trying to get the help for my mental health health problems which are bpd and ptsd..

living alone, in a lonely apartment....hardly no posessions...on welfare....never been employed......no friends.....no supportive family....no one there except your mental health team.....plus, its been like this all my life...and im 30 now..
having suffered greatly from abuse and bullying throughout your life..
surely these circumstances are a recipe for somebody to just quit, give up????
im aging prematurly....im bald.....i have physical imperfections..

plus theres probablly people who dont like me for whatever reason, that probablly get off on my misery and failings in life...get off sexually to....turns them on.
how can i handle this painfull

knowledge...?
how is someone supposed to carry on and achieve
goals and dreams having had all this happen to
them?
can someone tell me how?

my only goal is to emigrate from the uk, build a new life
in a hot sunny climate.

Answer 1

I know it's hard to forgive those that have hurt you, but someone taught them how to abuse by being abused. It's a long pattern of generations. You need love. You need to be taught love. I have never in over a year on this site said this to anyone before, but religion is all about love. Love is a higher vibration that makes you feel good....go get yourself some. There is something that you can do....all you have to do is find it....perhaps visiting your town and finding a hobby that makes you feel excited, that calls out to you and you can say "I can do this"!. You write better than half the people on this site....maybe something on that line....rewrite your history....write a story about how you would have preferred your life to be. Eating a healthy diet and exercising (walking) will also increase your happiness....sugar is more depression....eliminate. Fear, jealousy is the emotion of the kidneys...strengthen the kidneys by eating salads, rice and foods with Vitamin B's also water. Anger is the emotion of the liver....cut back on oils, fats, sugars, meats and chemicals....the symptoms of a over worked liver is stomach aches, indigestion, heartburn, headachs and a high pitch whishle sound in your ears....a low pitch sound like a roar of a seashell is the kidneys. Other sypmtoms of the kidneys are low back pain, urinary infections, eyesight failing, teeth problems, leg pain, cold feet to name the common ones. I've seen depressed people turn their lives around by eating more fruits and vegetables. Learn about food allergies and the pulse test. Today make a goal that you can achieve, write it down ....for instance...I will laugh five times today...ok, the next day I will say hello to someone with a smile on my face....and laugh five times.....the next day...I will walk this distance, I will say hello to someone with a smile on my face and laugh five times....the next day add something new along with the walk, the hello, and the laugh....everyday add something nice and soon your life will be filled with a better way. You see, with control over your mind, you can change your life. The past is over....you will never go there again...it's gone....it was something you had to experience to be the person of the future....what do you want to be? Decide now and take steps toward that....if you do the daily goals....in one year, you will have 365 new traits....with all the smiling, joy, happiness....you will see life differently. Good luck and I know life will change for you.

Answer 2

Hi,

This is pamma again. I find your questions interesting in that it represents most mentally ill people but more extreme and mentally healthy people may feel this way too but they deal with it in better ways. Everyone get jealous and there will always be people better off and worse off. Some people don't even have welfare or a one bedroom apartment. Some people don't even have food on a daily basis. Most people are not off doing interesting fascinating things like you think but just going about doing normal stuff. You've got to get yourself to do something simple that's outside the apartment. Forget about all the fantastic fantasy stuff and think about what you can do now. Find a safe place to take a walk, go to the library, go do volunteer work and maybe eventually get real work. I know you can do it.

And by the way some people don't know that if they were abused at a younger age like 0-5 especially sexually/physically, it leaves a very deep scar, and if it's not fix immediately but continued with more abuse it will get much worse. That's why some other who were abused may get over it easier because they may not have abused a young or continuously and they may have had social support such as aunt, family, church, community, friend etc. that can make all the difference. Circumstance changes how fast one can heal. One step at a time. You can do it.

Answer 3

Its always the people who have never had any problems in their lives who can tell you how to correct yours .
How do you have PTSD if you have never been in the service ? If you were won't they help you ?
If not the States all have some sort of help for un-employed people who need training . I have found , even at 30 years old , that school can be the happiest place you can ever be . This would be especially true if you were this lonely and had the problems when you were in school as a younger person. Now that you are older you can go back and get an education that will allow you to have the self respect you want and need . There will not be the jerks in school now who were in school when you were young and probably made fun of , if I am reading between the line as I think I am . As for all the things you say about sex , get a life friend and stop judging all people by whether or not they are getting laid , and worry about the more important things in life . OH YEAH try praying and asking God for help . He is the expert, not this forum .

Answer 4

I think that you need to stop being the victim. You are right in what you said. Nothing will come to you, you have to go out and get it. You need to find good people somewhere. They are out there. You live in an urban area which is a good start if there are many things to do. You really should get some kind of job as this is a good place to meet people. Have a laugh, everyone's got a past, you are still young. You say that you use the internet as your only outlet. Why not try having a good search to find something that you want to do or where to meet people?

Answer 5

Well, being alone is hard. I myself have been alone for a long time before I met my gf. I was bullied in school for the way I look and I was physically and verbally abused by my father until I was seventeen years old and finally stood up to him. It does make you want to give up and just quit, but thing is life is filled with these challenges, some harder then others. But without these we wouldn't grow as a person and I've found that most people who have gone what I've gone through are just as wonderful a person there can be. They understand what bullying does to others emotionally and they know what abuse does as well. They tend to carry their hearts on their sleeves and are very easily broken when rejected. I'm like this to a T. I myself don't age very much, I'm 23 years old but according to my picture and others who have told me this I look like a 14 year old pre pubesent boy. Lucky me...but my gf loves me for who I am and finds me beautiful and that's what really matters. There is someone out there for you as there is for everyone, you just have to keep looking because if you don't you could pass up your true soulmate. But sometimes fate will step in and give you a hand. You need to find friends that can also help you in your tough times, so that you can talk to them when you're having a bad day and vent to them so that they can help you out or just lend a shoulder to cry on. Never ever give up because if you do, they won. You need to stand tall and keep your chin up. Know that you are a wonderful person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I hope this helps you out. Good luck.

Answer 6

well, when you put it like that.....

Seriously, ptsd and bpd do not stop people from living productive, happy lives. Sure, there are setbacks, meds, 'mental health teams', etc. But there are also thousands of other people out there with a similar story as yours. You need to reach out, find these people. You need to share your struggles and your triumphs with others, so that both you and others can get better together. Sometimes life isn't fair, sometimes life isn't easy, but if you just wallow in that...if that is your main focus, then you can't let in the good. You 'can't see the sunshine for the trees'. You have to get out, meet new people, try and try again until you succeed. good luck!!

Answer 7

I think this is your problem: you purely focus on the negative aspects of your life. Why can't you just let go and do whatever you like and not care what people think? I have lived with the same problem you have and found out the more I dwell on it, the worse I feel. You need to keep busy and stop obsessing about yourself and your emotions, it does no good.Take a class and meet some people, go out to the pub and live a little! I live in California where its raining ash currently, the air quality is poor, my city is surrounded by fires, and I would love to be in the UK where you have seasons and it rains. Wanna switch?

Answer 8

I do understand some of the things you are going through. I wish I was normal. I do get jealous when I see and hear people who are doing great and don't have these mental hangups like I do. I too want to be free from the hold of my depression.
Don't give up hope, and just because your 30 doesn't mean your life is going to stay this way. Medication combinations, and finding what works, will help. I has me, and my mother, who was truly paralyzed by her depression. She's 59, and is finally living her life! God bless you, and don't ever give up!

Answer 9

It's great to have goals and desires. But one must realize that you may not achieve them. Those "happy" people probably haven't, and may not actually be all that happy.

Self confidence is key. With it you can overcome most anything. Take inventory of your good and bad qualities. Try to correct the bad, and use the good for your own benefit. Ask "am I likeable?" That builds self confidence. Understand that a great many people are just going through the motions. They are just as afraid to talk to you as you are to them. Many people spend their lives alone. There's nothing wrong with you there. Once you realize that you can move on and enjoy life, it's there for you to enjoy, but have to make it work. There's no secret recipe.

Answer 10

This what I do, I think about some remote part of the world. Where people don't have anything to eat, are down to their bare bones, dying of HIV and other deceases and are being killed on daily basis by local gangs and gorillas. Where what you look like and mental issues are not a concern but to survive from day to day...

For the record I have suffered from chronic depression and remind myself of these things that happen on a daily basis in other places and it works for me. I began to realize that what I look like, or how much I weight, or any other bs this society is telling to worry about are not what I came to this planet for. I'm here to find my purpose and really LIVE life.