the past 12 or so weddings that I been to no bride toss the bouquet (its degrading to females) and I also will not do so. I was wondering if anyone still throws a bouquet and if so, why?
2007-10-22 12:38:21 · 29 answers · asked by Wynter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
showing a bunch of single women "fighting" to get a bouquet of flower in hope of being the next one to get married shows. Its demeaning to females to show the desperatlity of "needing" to get married. It just bullshit and an insult to all females and i want no part of it.
2007-10-22 12:50:37 · update #1
Well, to each his own.
I personally will do a bouquet toss because I think it is a fun and interesting tradition. For any woman at my wedding who feels it is degrading, they can choose not to participate and will not be ostracized for it. It is their choice, and it doesn't matter to me. For those who want to try to catch it, they will have that option as well!
2007-10-22 14:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by Julie D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question! I have been struggling to decide if I want to bother with the bouquet and garter tosses. My first thought was not that they are degrading to women, but that they are not "classy".
I think that there are at least 2 bridal traditions that are sexist and I am completely against them. The bouquet toss is not one of them.
I see the bouquet toss as "passing the torch" on to my friends...who will be next to walk down the aisle? It's all in good fun. It's supposed to be a "luck of the draw" thing, it's a myth that the women have to fight over the bouquet.
Many brides no longer follow this tradition, and that's OK. However, may I ask if you are having your father "give you away" like a cow? If so, I think THIS is a tradition that needs to die, don't you?
To answer your question, yes, some people *do* toss the bouquet, and I am not sure yet if I will. There is no right or wrong answer here. If you feel that that tossing the bouquet and/or garter are distasteful, do not do them.
There are plenty of other things to do at a wedding instead of a toss. Present your bouquet to a special friend or family member instead.
2007-10-22 17:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's a tradition. It is only degrading if you make it that way. First you have to know how the tradition came to be how it is today. Weddings a long long time ago were all about luck, both good and bad. For example, on the way to the church seeing certain things was good or bad luck. The bride's hanker-chief was good luck b/c if the bride cried and wiped her tears with it, that meant that she would never cry during her marriage. Now for the bouquet, it was considered that the bride and anything she wore or had when saying her vows was very good luck, and anyone that obtained something of the bride's would have good fortune bestowed on them. People who attended would litterally try and rip the brides clothes off of her, so brides began throwing their bouquet to distract people from her so that her and her new hubby could get a head start and get away. This is also how the tossing of the garter got started. Originally, the bride tossed her garter as another distraction. Then the garter evolved into the groom helping the bride off with the garter and then he would toss it. The groom began helping around the time that wedding gowns became very fluffy and large and it became very immpossibale for the bride to remove it herself. Then a joke was made about the girl who caught the bouquet would be the next lucky one to get married, so there's your more modern day version of events. And also now the man who catches the garter will also be the next to get married. So it's JUST a TRADITION. It's meant to be good luck to be the one who catches the flowers or the garter. Also this is how wedding favors came about, an offering of luck and a charm to remember the event.
2007-10-22 12:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by h&t_oct282007 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm a wedding photographer, and every wedding I've done so far has included the bouquet toss. They also include the garter toss, so it's not just women. I've never seen anyone actually fight over it -- they get enthusiastic and end up tripping over each other sometimes, but it's all in good fun.
If you want to get offended over a wedding tradition, what about the feeding of the cake? Giving the bride away? Those have roots that are rather belittling to women.
2007-10-22 14:07:51 · answer #4 · answered by War Games AM 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go quite so far as to say it is degrading. However, at any wedding I've been to where there was a bouquet toss, the single women had to be forced out on the floor to catch it. Same goes for the garter toss (although I haven't seen that one in years). Why put your friends though that?
I attended a wedding with my fiance when I was pregnant and they tried to get me out there! I can't think of anything sadder/funnier than a 7 month pregnant woman scrambling for a bouquet, but they still harrassed me. I was like "seriously?"
2007-10-22 12:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.............Every wedding I've been to. I'm from the Northeast, like Luv2Answer. I agree with her.
What's so degrading about it? Nothing. It's suppose to be in good fun, like you catch the bouquet you'll get married next. Almost like a good luck charm or karma. Half the time, catching it does not mean you'll be married next.
It's fun and you don't have the particapte unless you want to. Plus, it should be a quick thing. You throw the bouquet and somone catches it........all under 3 mins.
It's only degarding if you make it that way. There is a classy way to do traditional like this.
As for fighting, what kind of wedding have you been to. All the wedding I"ve been to, the bouquet falls in someone's hands or near them. The ladies all reach for it and whoever gets it, gets it. No fighting......you must have some friends.
2007-10-22 12:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by J'adore 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
At my wedding I tossed a bouquet made by the florist to toss. I was able to keep my wedding bouquet!
No one fought over the bouquet, the ladies had fun!
I don't think it is degrading its just tradition!
You don't have to do it, but I think women do look forward to the bouquet toss! Who doesn't like free flowers?!!!
2007-10-22 17:02:58 · answer #7 · answered by sexxy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The original significance of catching the bride's bouquet was that it was lucky- it didn't necessarily mean that you'd get married. That part evolved later.
When I got married, there were very few single women at the reception, so I invited all of the ladies (married or otherwise) to come up to catch the bouquet for luck. I had a breakaway bouquet, so five of my guests caught at least one flower. Then we all took a picture together, and that was it. I thought it was great!
2007-10-22 13:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The last couple of weddings I went to did not toss the bouquet. However, now that everyone in our groups are in their late 30's and 40's, no one is "dying" to get married.
I think it's fine if the bride and her friends are younger, but a mature woman isn't going to fight teenagers for a bunch of flowers.
2007-10-22 13:05:18 · answer #9 · answered by Cheryl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I live in the northeast and have never been to a wedding where they didn't toss the bouquet. It's a tradition just like any other. The idea that it's degrading is kind of strange. Guests look forward to it.
2007-10-22 12:44:20 · answer #10 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋