What is wrong with me?

Question

I'm currently in a relationship and this afternoon my boyfriend started asking questions about what I wanted out of our relationship. My response was, I wanted us to grow into a more serious relationship.

He was not pleased with my answer...

He brought up an earlier conversation and in that particular conversaton I said that I was not "in" love, but I indeed do love him and my feelings are growing stronger every day.

He later expressed to me that he feels he is already "there" and he is waiting on me. I told him that I never said that I did not love him, but I was not "in" love, but in time my feelings will change BUT I am not rushing it. My reasons for not rushing is because we are still a young couple, only a year, and I still feel like we are getting to know one another.

He began saying that if I did not know *now*, then... - and he never finished his sentence, so I got the assumption he felt like he was wasting his time with me. Of course, he wanted me to try and

put myself in his shoes and when I did I said, "Well, I think I understand how you feel. If I were "in" love with someone and they did not love me the way I love them, I guess I would not want to be with them".

Then he says he does not want to break up, he feels we can work it out.

I am not going to lie, I have been very hurt. I just don't understand the point of rushing...I'm afraid it will ruin the relationship.

Not only that...

But I feel like I'm always doing something wrong. I feel like I don't please him in anything that I do.

1. I feel like I'm being criticized because I want to take it slow and he's already "there", so it is like I need to "hurry up"

2. He felt I did not enjoy our sex

3. When I support him, I made the mistake of saying I did it for him as a friend and oh boy did he get mad!

I told him my feelings tonight and he says it is something that we can work out...

but there is nothing to work out!

:( Okay...

Correction: We've known each other since college, but we were intimate friends for a year, and we've been in a relationship for a month. When I say relationship, I mean we actually put a title on it.

Answer 1

If you have been dating a year you should know one another pretty well.
If you love someone who loves you then you ARE in love.
You cannot love someone romantically and say you arent "in love" with them if they love you too.
You either love him or you dont and he is tired of waiting for you to make up your mind.
CAUTION tho, do NOT get serious with him JUST to make HIM happy.You will BOTH end up sorry if you do.Itd be better to break it off now if you do not love him.
You said you wanted your relationship to get more serious.After a yr it should be serious enough to start talking marriage.

Answer 2

I can tell how you feel. It's obvious you don't know him very well, which is why you are asking this question. If i were in your shoes i would talk more to him about it. I can sort of feel the vibe that you are a little insecure with him. I am in a two year relationship and it is awesome, my secret is to always be positive and never tell him anything that will make him hold a grudge. Unless if its an emergency.

Answer 3

i think your very sensible. and your not rushing things as you said your still getting to know one another. i wouldn't say he was wasting he time with you. i think he misunderstands you. i got the feeling both of you will be together for along time. i wish you well good luck.

Answer 4

you should just tell him your fellings now then hell understand.