What is it about our need to feel "unique" that blinds us to the truth of our similarities?

Question

Believer:: I sometimes feel I've killed brain cells on the journey to that question... and I guess I leave some of that feeling behind. Crazy connection eh?

Answer 1

I think our unwillingness or inability to truly empathize and understand one another makes us feel unique. We need to feel understood and to have someone at least emotionally walk in our shoes once in a while. The veil is the arm-waving about uniqueness. Notice me, *I* am different. But, as you so atutely point out, that's not really true. We are variants of the same thing, situated at different points in a distribution of humanness.

I think others just don't take the time, are unable, or don't wish to expend the emotional energy to empathize and understand. This psychologically separates us and blinds us to the truth. But, we sure do seem to be comfortable with this. We often beat-around-the-bush to avoid telling others what might be an emotionally painful truth; through its persistence and prevalence, I can only assume we enjoy small talk, as well as erroneously judging others.

But, what if we just listened to others with an ear to understand and feel what it might *really* be like to be in every other person's position? I think some of us would likely take on the emotions of others, become emotionally overloaded, perhaps lose our own feelings and thoughts in others. We'd be common, seem boring too; we'd have no blinders on, but no privacy, no emotional solace or individuality. What would truly be ours?

So, perhaps our need to feel understood which is veiled as uniqueness over sameness is a necessary way we maintain emotional balance...even if it doesn't readily make a lick of sense :-) :-). And, hey, whataya know, it makes us feel good about ourselves to boot.

Answer 2

This is such an easy one. Humans have an inborn need to compete. Without such a need, we would have been crushed long ago by natural selection. In order to compete, we have to have someone to compete against.

In order to compete, we have to identify differences and similarities between us and those around us. The surprising thing is that the similarities are actually used by us as scales of comparison, so we tend to think of them in terms of the difference in how we and they perform on that scale.

There are similarities that we can't use for competitive purposes. Almost all of us have two eyes, for example. We tend to either ignore these as uninteresting, or completely disregard those who don't meet the minimum standard as being instantly substandard, and therefore also not worth competing with in that manner.

Answer 3

Hi friend,
At it again with these tough questions! =) But I'll give this one my best shot.

The need to feel unique comes from the false self otherwise called ego. When we learn to observe the thinker/ego and its conditioned thoughts and beliefs, we become our authentic/true self and in this way can transcend the egoic desire to feel unique.

By way of the Observer stance, the authentic self realizes we are not our thoughts or ego but that we are all, each of us, Divine. We are all connected in this Tapestry called Life. And in fact we are all One. The ego tries to hide/blind us from this because above all else the ego wishes to sustain itself.

Whew! I think your questions kill my brain cells ....=)

Answer 4

Perhaps it is more of the need to be desired rather than unique. It goes back to the procreative urge. We want the mate we have to desire us and only us. We want to be seen as the best one to mate with to have young. It is ego of sorts. We work to attract this mate. We think we must be special or unique to attract. In reality it is more of a game of chance as to whether we will attract who we want or desire. Because we all fit the bill of what is needed....our similarities are our attracting qualities. Perfection of those similarities are seen in "beautiful People"---the balance of features, coloring, size. All contribute to attraction. It is all been made a rather confusing mess by our ability to rationalize and our emotional responses to the situation.

Answer 5

i guess its the way it tends to creates an 'ego,' a false concept of self which masks how similar we really are

being without an ego, even for a brief period of time, is a truly profound experience that i had the fortune of living not too long ago. It wasn't what i would call 'pleasant,' but im thankful for it nonetheless because of what it has taught me.

Answer 6

Some things are hard to see within ourselves or perhaps it bothers us to see this in others. Would it not be some part of denial, the fact we cannot see that we do the same, feel the same, look the same, see the same...of course that could not be it! But it is, really it is.

Answer 7

the need to feel more important, better, bigger, badder, as though our problems are more serious, that our lives are more "anything" more hip, more kids, more money, etc.....

We want to distinguish ourselves in order to get all the attention and praise or sympathy. It is ego ego ego.

Humility is much harder to find in a person than is pride.

Blessings,
Lady Morgana )0(

Answer 8

On the contrary, the day we find our true uniqueness we also find our true similarity with all that is, and vice versa.

We are similar because we are unique.

Answer 9

To some point, we are all the same, but if we were the same in every way, this would be a boring world.

Answer 10

I misread 'blinds' as 'binds'. Sometimes, I discover more truth in error.