Three guys go into a bar: a guy from Dallas, a guy from San Francisco, and a guy from Boulder. They drank and got a little rowdy. Suddenly, completely without warning, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, unscrewed the top, took a good swig, and threw the bottle into the air. He then jerked a Colt .45 pistol out of his pocket and shot the bottle, spraying tequila all over everything and everybody.
The patrons at the bar shouted, "Hey, bud, why'd you waste that tequila?"
The Texan said, "Heck, it's just tequila. Us Texans go across the border all the time and get all the tequila we want."
Not to be outdone, the Californian whipped out a corkscrew and uncorked a bottle of wine. He poured some into a glass, swirled it, sniffed, commented on the tart insolence of its bouquet, sipped, tossed the bottle in the air, nicked it with a round from a silly little chrome-plated pistol, and showered a couple of patrons at the bar with wine.
The patrons, upset by the casual waste and general lack of concern for their safety, expressed their displeasure and astonishment, to which the Californian replied, "Well, I'm from Napa Valley, and we have more than enough wine where I come from."
The Boulderite, a quiet observer up to this point, touched the crystal hanging from his neck, adjusted his Birkenstocks, flipped back his ponytail, put down his guitar, and borrowed a bottle opener from the bartender. He popped the top off a bottle of Fat Tire beer, hammered it back, threw the empty bottle into the air, pulled a 9mm Beretta, took careful aim, shot both the Californian and the Texan, and caught the falling bottle.
The patrons screamed in utter disbelief, "Why'd you do that?"
The Boulderite replied, "I'm from Colorado. We've already got too many Texans and way too many Californians, but glass bottles, now those can be recycled!"
2007-10-22 11:15:34 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
DC - Dude,
I hate to break it to you... but that joke has been around since Christ was in short pants.
And it has been reworked more often than the street-walker down on 9th and Cass.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard this joke with a different ending I'd be living on Easy Street instead of Poverty Row.
But I've never heard it opened up "Three Americans in a bar..."
It was always just three different guys... like - "this Texan, Mexican and Frenchman... or - Doctor, Lawyer & Indian Chief... or... whatever.
So that part is different. Okay, have a great day... and please come up with something better - please!
.
2007-10-22 12:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by Nigel8ball 6 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Excellent!
2016-04-09 22:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was great! You get a star. I'll give you my 3 short bar jokes:
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind!" The mushroom asks, "Why not? I'm a fun guy (fungi)
Jumper cables walk into a bar & ask if they can be served. The bartender says, "sure, ....just don't start anything!!"
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry....We don't serve food here!"
2007-10-22 11:27:56 · answer #3 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Funny, tasteful and well told. A star for you tall Texan.
2007-10-24 16:00:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are good friends, then, they all have something in common. they need some tutoring,young guys like them are just beginning.. they should learn bar manner.
2007-10-22 23:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by osi kwa stat nig afr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahahaha.
Too many Californians in Nevada too.
2007-10-22 11:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by Senator John McClain 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
2007-10-22 11:40:00 · answer #7 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ROFL! 10/10
Awsome jokeee keeep them cominnnggg :]
2007-10-22 11:36:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's some cheap beer, isn't it? LOL good joke.
2007-10-22 12:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by Andrea H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm from California and that is too freakin hilarious!! LMAO
2007-10-22 11:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by Ginny 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋