should i call?

Question

i will shorten this story: my teenage daughter whom conitinued to tell lies and even started to sneak out of the house has now been sent to live with her father i tried to be that mom that tried to gain her respect and for two years now her being 17 years old i sent her to her fathers did i do a bad thing and i haven't called her and she hasn't me either and should i call or wait for her

Answer 1

call her. its the best thing to do if you want a good relationship with your daughter. tell her how you feel. see if she says somethng back. call her. shes probably thinking the same thing. =]

Answer 2

No. You did what was necessary. You had to set boundaries and she must learn she has to pay the consequences for her actions. Let no one tell you otherwise. You didn't mention how long ago you sent her to Dad's, but I would give her breathing space until she has spent her anger towards you. I would, however, call Dad every few days to see how she is adjusting and test the waters, so to speak. He is in a better position to let you know how she is reacting to this new development. In a few weeks she will have calmed down and perhaps you can speak to her, but DO NOT APOLOGIZE for doing what was necessary, even if you feel very badly about it. Children, especially at that age, will push to the limits. Surprisingly, if you hadn't done anything she would resent you more in later years for allowing her to "get away with it" because children equate no boundaries with [you, the parent] not caring. She will come to respect you more over the years, especially after she herself becomes a parent.

Been there, done that. Mom of 5.

Answer 3

Call her but NOT immediately. How long has it been? Wait at least a couple of weeks, or even 4-6 weeks, because while you want to let her know you still love her, you also don't want to be her doormat for her to treat you like crap and know you'll always take it. You need her to respect you.

My husband and I are going through a similar situation with his 15 yr old daughter. She got mad at him and left the house (she was getting out of control with disrespect). He called and wrote her right away, and by doing that he set a really bad precedent that he'd always be there for her to treat him like sh**. It's been 1 1/2 yrs now and she hasn't come home (lives with mom still). Her atttitude is that "dad ALWAYS loves her so she has to EARN her mother's love (mother is a psycho evil nut who abuses her), so she does not respect her dad AT ALL because he's always bent over backwards to do anything for her. So give it TIME before you call her!!!

She also needs time to settle in at her dad's, get over the "honeymoon stage" and realize life is not perfect their either.... remember teens are VERY self centered!

Answer 4

how long has it been since you talked to her.. and don't worry if she was doing all thesse bad things maybe it was good for her to get away from everything for a while. maybe you should wait atleast a few weeks to talk to her, give her some time to think about what she wants, and what she did wrong. tell her you love her because right now is the time in her life when she needs someone the most. she needs your love and friendship. try to understand that, i know it might be hard but you can do it. ask her if she wants to meet you somewhere just to talk face to face, but if its far then talk to her on the phone. good luck, she will come around i promise!

Answer 5

you were being a responsible parent by sending her away. that was the right move to make, but i think you should of put forth the effort to call or contact her, you might of worsened your mother/daughter relationship. just hope for the best and try to reconstruct both of your lives. maybe you should do something that you bothy like, or maybe you should go see a movie. it might start to mend your broken relationship. whatever you decide to do, i wish you good luck you sound like a nice person.

Answer 6

you know sometime kids do that cause mothers tend to be very soft cause i was like that with my mom and when my dad became a stay at home dad it all change but you should talk to her at least and have lunch with her so that you can still have a mother daughter bond! you should always talk to her so u should call and talk and make a plan for lunch or dinner or shopping or whatever!!

Answer 7

I'm sure sending her away was your last choice. Sometimes it's the best decision. I'd give it sometime, then I would call her. She may be upset, but she'll one day realized that this was in her best interest. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.

Answer 8

She's your daughter and when it got rough you sent her to dad.... It is your job to call her.... Kids mess up the idea that you think she should call you is crazy to me.... If she doesn't want to talk you should at the very least send her letters and presents..... Your the mom act like it..... did you think of counseling before sending her away?

Answer 9

I would call and and just tell her you love her,If she is receptive ask her if she would like to come for xmas. That would be a way to start small and work up big.

Answer 10

I'd call her. You're the adult in the relationship, its up to you to try to keep the lines of communicatin open. If she doesn't want to talk to you, you have to respect that though.