When I recently came back from vacation from another country I went to visit my boyfriend and he forced me for sex. He locked me up in a bathroom and started grabbing me and screaming at me. He told me to take off my clothes. I'm a virgin. I haven't been giving him any sex cause I'm not ready yet I don't know if he's the one yet. Luckily I ran out of the house. He followed me. I was crying. Lastnight on the phone he says that if he finds out I'm talking to other guys he will beat me.
My boyfriend is poor and is going to school. My family is rich so my boyfriend is dependant on me for everything. I work as a model/student/artist. I was gonna buy him a phone and pay the phone bill but now I'm having second thoughts. He's abusive. I love him I really want him to change. My ex boyfriend that I've known since last year July 18th me and him are now friends. He works and makes alot of money. He loves to buy me stuff and show his love. He's trying to get back with me. What should I do ?
2007-10-22 10:49:11 · 15 answers · asked by mixedcurlyfries 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You already know that this relationship is wrong -- that is the first good sign. You are right, he is abusive and you need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible.
The first thing you need to do is TELL people what is going on. Tell your parents, tell your friends, tell your teachers, counselors, the police, etc. Do not keep this a secret. Press charges and make him understand that you aren't letting him treat you like this. I know you say you love him, but this is WRONG and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. If you don't tell people about it, it will be more dangerous for you if he comes after you again because people will not suspect him as they should. And even if you aren't concerned for your own safety, if you don't tell people about what he did to you you are only allowing him to go do it to some other girl. You must speak up and say that what he did was wrong -- for your sake and for the sake of other innocent girls.
The next thing you need to do is you need to break up with him -- have your parents or someone else with you when you do this. If he's that violent, you don't want to be alone with him when you break up with him.
Then, for awhile at least, you need to stay as far away from him as possible. Do not take his calls. Do not see him. Do not walk anywhere alone. If the police are already involved, a restraining order may be in order.
The bottom line is this: What he did was all shades of wrong. You may think that you still love him, but he is being abusive and you need to get away from him for your own safety. He does not own you and he does not deserve to treat you as though he does. Your body, mind, friends and life are yours and yours alone.
What you choose to do about this ex-boyfriend is up to you and should be based on your feelings for him. The important thing is that you get far away from the current boyfriend because he is abusing you.
ps- Most people list pros and cons when they are trying to make a decision. You did not mention any pros to staying with this guy. I think that says a lot. You know what the healthy decision is. Get out now.
2007-10-22 11:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by weirdiscomplimentary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you are really scared and I hope I can help. I hope you can talk to your parents about this, even though you may be worried about thier reaction. A parents' love for thier child is greater than their anger I have found; I know because I am a daughter and a mother. First off, you should know that forcing you is illegal and there are women in law enforcement you should talk to about this and report it. Should you be pregnant, there are many options other than abortion - PLEASE call your local Planned Parenthood office and make an appointment to talk with them, this is what they are for. There is the option of the morning after pill, but it is a prescription you would have to see a doctor for and I believe it is literally meant to be taken within a day or two after unsafe sex. I hope that this scare is only a scare for you, but sweetie, please use a condom EVERY time. Protection is not just for preventing pregnancy but keeping your body safe from diseases. Not all diseases are visible, or treatable, and some are undetectable in men (like HPV). Pregnancy is no picnic, labor does hurt, but children are a miracle, a blessing, and if you are pregnant and decide you cannot do this on your own, there are so many women out there unable to have kids that would love to adopt and they will help you thru the pregnancy the whole way. Please talk to Planned Parenthood - they know more about your options- and try to talk to your parents, thier loving reaction to your pain and fear may surprise you. I wish you all the best.
2016-05-24 19:49:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this situation fast! You are right-I don't think he is the one for you. If he tries to rape you again you need to go to the police and press charges. Maybe a few months in jail will teach him a lesson!! You derserve WAY better- go to the other guy, but ONLY if he treats you like the princess that you should be treated like!
2007-10-22 10:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by armygirl8708 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah u can get back with ur x. but if u wanna try to make him change its fine as long as its safe 4 u.n put this thing is ur bf's mind that he cant beat u or u'll report the police n take legal serious legal action in any rape kinda situation too.
then once he's scared lol u can try doing that but gotta be safe,if not just break up with him n get some1 else may b ur x
2007-10-22 10:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he forced you to have sex, it's called rape and you should have reported it to the police. Even if he didn't rape you, it still sounds like sexual assault and it's a crime. You don't need someone like that in your life and should get rid of him immediately. You may even need to get a protective order against him. As for the bf before this one, don't get in a relationship with him just now, because you'd be bringing him into this mess that you've got now and that's not fair.
2007-10-22 10:56:42 · answer #5 · answered by Kelley G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not entirely sure I believe this story. Your in love with a abusive poor guy that you say you have to support! But, you sure like that rich guy that can buy you "stuff". I'd have to lean toward the "stuff".
2007-10-22 11:08:15 · answer #6 · answered by david 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats a really messed up situation to be in.first,if he is already doing these things it will probably just keep getting worse.next,your virginity is yours until u decide to give it away,he really shouldnt b the one you give it to because he dont respect you.i know what rape feels like,and trust me it dont feel good especially when its somebody u got alot of love for.but abuse of any kind is never okay you should get as far away as fast as you can before he gives you a bruise that wont heal
2007-10-22 10:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by sunsetsinMAY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already admitted one thing....HES ABUSIVE.... no woman in any country, religion, nationality, financial status should ever be abused, whether it be physical or mental. This man has no right to force you for sex, or threaten to beat you for talking to other guys. You need to talk to someone you trust about whats going on with this guy, and you need to dump his poor ***....cos he aint no good for you....
2007-10-22 11:01:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is abusive and you need to get away from him. Tell your parents and they can help you file a report on him about the threats he has made, get a restraining order on him and don't talk to him don't call him just stay away from him. He would not hurt you if he loves you.
2007-10-22 10:56:55 · answer #9 · answered by Tasha A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get out of that relationship immediately. your boyfriend should treat with you respect and trust you with whatever you do. ripping your clothes off and threatening you physically is something that no woman deserves. as for the ex... talk with him maybe he sees that you are in a bad relationship. make sure he doesnt get too pushy either.
best of luck and be safe
2007-10-22 11:31:22 · answer #10 · answered by jace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋