My husband, who watches our daughter and I work, will be deploying next year. He wasn't suppose to go until 2010 so we're in shock. I'm thinking it will be a little too traumatic for my daughter to have Daddy leave, go to some stranger for daycare, and hardly see Mommy because I'm working. What do you think? I'm planning to quit and stay with her while he's gone.
2007-10-22 09:56:41 · 14 answers · asked by naomireid544 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
We have no family close by and no friends that I would trust her with. We can afford it as we've been living on just my salary for a year now. He will be gone about a year and I will be working on my Master's Degree online while off.
2007-10-22 10:03:17 · update #1
Ok obviously I need to leave more info. My daughter is 8 months old and will be a year and a half when we leaves. I'm moving from Hawaii to Oregon after he deploys. I work in the Operating room and if I work at all, it's on odd shifts and I have to take call at all hours of the night and weekend when you can't find a sitter. I have no problem with daycare, it's just that I have a job that's difficult to coordinate daycare with. Also, I feel it's too traumatic for her to go from Daddy all day to daycare and hardly seeing Mommy and never seeing Daddy. The point of the question is to ask, do you think daycare would be an additional and unnecessary trauma in such a short time. In the span of a month Daddy will leave and we'll move across the ocean. Would daycare be too much?
2007-10-22 18:02:47 · update #2
Quit. She needs one parent with her...the temporary loss of Daddy will be too much combined with suddenly going to daycare....
2007-10-22 10:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Daisyhill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old your daughter is, but I'd like to echo others' comments. Assuming she'll be at least two by the time your husband deploys, I'd seriously consider part-time childcare, or something similar.
I was home alone with my 2 y.o. son for a few months, with no family in the area. The most stressful thing was never, ever, ever getting a break. When another partner is present, you don't realize how much easier it is. Going it solo is tough, in any circumstances. If you want to get that degree, make sure you have some regular time to shift out of mommy mode and focus.
But if you love your job, and they're willing to be flexible while you're the only parent at home, I wouldn't necessarily quit. I might introduce her to childcare a few weeks before daddy deploys. While balancing both is tough, work is a good distraction from worries. I'm amazed at how much more I fret while I'm chasing my kid on the playground.
Good luck & God bless.
2007-10-22 19:50:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know either way your at a loss, I just came back to work from maternity leave, didn't take the whole year because I couldn't afford it financially even though my husband works. But even if you go back to work and don't have a family member that will watch your child for a cheap price you still have to pay for daycare. There are pros and cons to you taking your child to daycare. My biggest problem is missing out being with my child, it's really hard, but since i work right next door to my daycare I could see them when they are playing outside, I see how much fun she is having, she has gained friends, is more outgoing and learnt how to interact with other kids, she learns basic things to help with entering preschool, now that she is use to going to daycare she isn't clinging to me when i leave she has become more independant, it helped with getting her on a schedule for eating and naps. i notice a big difference between my child and my sister's kid that doesn't go to daycare and stays home. My daughter talks a lot more, has no problem with different people, knows songs, a bit of the abc's, is able to interact with different kids, while my sister's kid is more withdrawn and has problems with different people, is really clingy to her mom and dad, doesn't say much. They are both the same age (2 years old) so the way I see it even though I can't be there I know she is having a good time and learning something. I am the one that has a problem leaving her while she smiles and waves good bye to me in the morning. It's really difficult but my husband and I need to make money to put food on the table and clothes on their back. It was hard for her to adjust to daycare in the beginning but after about a week of me sitting there with her the first few times she would cry when I left and would make a fuss but I found out from the daycare workers that right after I left she would only cry for a few minutes then carry on playing and would be totally fine all day. For when I was off work It was so hard financially, but if you could afford it go for it, totally up to you and what your family needs. Best of Luck!!!
2007-10-22 17:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by shady20001978 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the person above me - if you can afford it then do stay home. However, you may want to look into part-time jobs to keep your resume fresh, your skills up to date and to have at least some income. If you can have a family member or trusted family friend mind your child than that may be easier for her than daycare. Daycare can be good too - depending on your child's age. It might help her to play with other children and to have a little social life to get her through the days when she is missing Dad.
2007-10-22 17:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by Signilda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you are going to get an education while he's off! that's a great idea!
As for the quitting the job, instead of quitting what about just part time?
Your daughter would benefit a lot from going to day care- the way you put it makes it seem like she's never been without you or daddy. That's not good. What's going to happen when she starts school?
I say even just put her in day care every other day or half a day and you continue to work-even just part time because things happen and you might need money!
2007-10-22 17:10:00 · answer #5 · answered by Music 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you all can afford it and that is what you want to do then do it ... that is what i did ... i quit my job becasue i just could not stand the idea of me working and never seeing my boys....
2007-10-22 17:15:25 · answer #6 · answered by Kim S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great to stay at home with her. You don't want her to be stressed out over him leaving so this will ease it some.
2007-10-22 17:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Kennedy & Kevin's mommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your finances can handle it, then I say good for you. I hope everything works out. Good luck to you and I pray for your husband's safety. 2D
2007-10-22 17:04:08 · answer #8 · answered by 2D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your family can afford it, I say go for it!
2007-10-22 16:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by gendaisy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford it, it is the way to go!
2007-10-22 16:59:45 · answer #10 · answered by dynastronii 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋