it is appropriate for a child to attend a funeral?
2007-10-22 09:37:22 · 18 answers · asked by cher 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
When my 11 year old cousin died Monday 15, 2007, i took my 6 year old son to the wake on thursday but did not attend the funeral.
He acted good, i mean he wasn't acting up or anything like that. I had explained it to him but i didn't want him at first to walk up to the casket to see her.
I went first and let him stay outside the church with my aunt but then he said "Mommy i want to go in there and see her"..
We walked up to the casket and he rub her hand. He said mommy this is so sad but honestly even after i explained why she was there and all of that i don't think he understands death.
Kids don't understand cause when he was 4 years old and my papa died, i couldn't get a babysitter so we went to the funeral home and he walked with me and i told him, i said lets be quiet when we walk up here to see papa.
Well we got to the casket and all of a sudden he starts poking my papa in the shoulder saying "wake up papa". Everyone stared. I felt awful.
It is up to you though.
2007-10-22 09:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My sister's kids were about 4 at the "showing" of her hubby's dad's funeral. There was a room ajacent to the actual viewing so it was *fun* for them to play, etc...they didn't get that "grandpa Robert" died as they were going up to him and hanging on to the casket and things like that. I think that by the time they're 8-9 they "get it".....my sis's kids are 9 and they would be *VERY* sad and would really cry a lot but they (the twin boys) would understand, were raised to believe in Jesus, God, the bible....so they know what's up, IMHO. My sister actually taught a sunday school for kids so she brought them up believing, etc....and they also know about death, etc. So that is my opinion. I am sure you'll get all kinds of answers but I think the age 8-9 is appropriate if not even a bit younger.....and again, this was at the 'viewing' and not the actual funeral. I think they'd probably get "bored" if it were the real funeral where people get up to say good things about the person that died. Just my opinion here from knowing these little boys the way that I do.....hope this helps.
2007-10-22 19:47:50 · answer #2 · answered by bazimme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the child. Every child is at a different stage maturity wise at the same age. I know my son would be able to behave during a funeral now and he's 4 years old. However, do I think he would be able to understand why we were there and be able to handle that emotionally, of course not. The parent has to decide that. If the child wants to go, by all means, let them go. However a funeral isn't a place for small children.
2007-10-22 16:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by jdecorse25 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that a child should not attend a funeral untill they understand what really happened. I was 10 or 11 before I went to one and that was my grandfather. If it is someone close in the family then you have to be careful as far as when they start asking for that person if they dont go. If it is someone like a second cousin then I wouldnt worry about it.
2007-10-22 17:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by hotteemami 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK every child is different, but i feel that if they are able to behave and understand what is going on then the are old enough......as for my daughter she was 4 when she attended her first funeral...but she is a very smart girl...so i would evaluate your child and see if the are capable of attending.
2007-10-22 16:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by kc_massagepro2006 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that all children should attend funerals. I honestly don't think that there is anything wrong with it. I went to my grandpa's funeral when I was 4.
I really think that you just have to explain to your child what's going on, and if they're too young to understand, then I don't really think there's a problem..
That's just my opinion though, and a lot of people might disagree with me...
2007-10-22 16:43:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Every child is different. My step daughter attended her first funeral at 10, she is very mature for her age and always has been. that is something that a parent needs to think about and decide
2007-10-22 16:41:53 · answer #7 · answered by shandebar 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depends, my parent did not let me attend funerals as a child.
Even when my grandmother died at 11, I didn't go. My mother was a wreck, as it was. She did want us to she our grandmother dead, then become upset. Plus, she herself was a wreck.
I remember just being upset and stressed out at the fact my mother had fallen to pieces. The death was somewhat sudden and my grandmother was very young. It took my mother a long time to get over it, and get back to her normal self. My dad took over "main mom tasks" for quite sometime.
I think it depends on the situations, the family and the child.
2007-10-22 16:44:46 · answer #8 · answered by J'adore 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i wasnt allowed to go to my grandads funeral and i was 9 so i would say that i'd let a child go at about 11 when they really understand and can cope with a funeral
2007-10-22 16:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Leah-marie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My nephew was 4 and came to our mother's funeral. He didn't seem bothered by it because he didn't understand.. he kept wanting to play..
Which is exactly why MY children didn't come to the funeral- because I feel having kids there that are going to want to play or cause a scene is disrespectful. I also feel it's disrespectful to bring young babies to funerals so other people can "see the new baby."
Call me hateful, but when my mother died, I didn't care about seeing my nephew. I was grieving- and my sister's disregard for everyone else was appalling.
2007-10-22 16:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋