saving yourself for marriage?

Question

i've grown up with very religious parents and i've been taught that you should remain a virgin until you are married. my b/f and i both know we're READY to have sex, but i feel like it's a sin. he doesn't believe until saving yourself until you're married. i've always wondered would oral sex/fingering count as "sex before marriage?" i guess that it depends on my definition of sex and i don't believe that oral sex is "real sex". what is the actual definition of "saving yourself until marriage"?

Answer 1

Alright, here is what is more important than anything else: What are YOU most comfortable with? If the only reason that you are waiting is because of how your parents feel, then that's the wrong reason. Also, if the only reason you're considering going ahead with it is because your boyfriend wants to, also the wrong reason. The most important thing is that you are feeling loved and respected and are acting in a way that will ensure that you continue feeling that way. On the one hand, "fingering" and oral sex will not get you pregnant but other than that, sex is sex in a religious sense whether it is actual intercourse or not. If having sex is something you think you will be doing, just please make sure you protect yourself, both mentally and physically and remember that whatever urges you are having are COMPLETELY natural and normal, whether you feel the need to act on them or not! Good luck!!

Answer 2

WOW! Your boyfriend sure has used quite a line on you, girl! I think I would definitely NOT have any sexual relations with him. I mean "I don't believe in saving yourself for marriage" is an interesting way to get into a girls panties. But I guess he's being honest.

He only wants to have sex with you and then he'll dump you and move on to any other girl who will spread her legs for him.

Don't do like I did and regret it for the rest of your life. I am from a strong religious family, but still fell to some guy who was a charmer. Save yourself for someone who won't use some stupid line on you just to get into your panties. Don't do something you'll regret if you can help it.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Obviously if you feel guilt about it, you're not totally ready. Put it this way: would you feel comfortable talking about this with your priest or minister? Most religions consider anything sexual to be a sin before marriage - but not all. I did actually speak to a priest on the subject and he had some helpful advice to give. Maybe it's worth a try!

Failing that, my best advice is to get down on your knees and pray about this. You may find yourself ready to make a decision one way or the other after talking it over with God.

Good luck!

Answer 5

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It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.

Answer 6

Chrissy sorry to hear that you don't view (as many other mistaken people) oral sex and/or getting fingered as sexual practices. Fact of life is that both of these are very sexual. If you have the morals to stay a virgin until your special night all the more power to you. Certainly the man you marry would appreciate it. But if you end up giving yourself to someone before then that is your decision. Best of luck with this dilemma you currently find yourself in.

Answer 7

Don't you try on shoes before you buy them? He may be a great person but if he is not there sexually for you the marriage will not last long. You have to be compatible in all ways so you need to try on the shoes, they may be snug but then you will know if you can work with them or if a return is in order.

Answer 8

Actual intercourse is real sex.
The rest is just foreplay.
The thing is what if you get married and you haven't had real sex. Then you get married and finally do and find out you or he is alergic to the other. Or maybe he doesn't satisfy you.
There is a lot more to saving yourself, it has to do with compatability, too.

Answer 9

well thats something that was done a long time ago. (waiting til marriage)..... but i have been in a point of my life where i was super religious so i know where your coming from. it IS a sin to have sex. apparently the biggest sin. so if your super religious, you'll believe that. but yes, that is all sex. anything with the sex organs is all sex. and dont let him force you. you say u both want to, but the way you described it, it kinda makes it sound like he is kinda forcing it on you. just remember that all guys ONLY want sex. makes sure ur relationship is real so you dont get hurt!

Answer 10

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saving yourself for marriage?
i've grown up with very religious parents and i've been taught that you should remain a virgin until you are married. my b/f and i both know we're READY to have sex, but i feel like it's a sin. he doesn't believe until saving yourself until you're married. i've always...