Okay so i have high self esteem, most people tell me i am quite , i am shy around hot cute guys especially the ones i don't talk to much, when i am around my guy friends i am pretty loud towards them i mean i am more outgoing towards them, i think i am cute and nice girl to get along with, now what i have found out is that one of my guy friends liked me and he didn't dare to ask me out. Now i am a nice girl and i can be a great girlfriend, but i am wondering why do most guys go ask out those loud, fast, want every guy type of girls but don't ask me out even when they like me. They wait till it wears off and move on. Is there any reason for that?
2007-10-22 09:02:54 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You said you are shy, that is probably it!!!! Maybe it's a good thing because some guys just like slutty girls!!! I don't!!!
2007-10-22 09:06:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you can't even make sense when you talk and describe yourself, that's probably the first reason. Second, I say that because you can't be of high self esteem and still quiet, shy, and unsocial. I can also guess that your lack of confidence around new "hot cute guys" is overcompensated by being loud with people you know. Instant turn off, I don't know many guys that like loud obnoxious girls. Unless they are white, blonde, and dress like easy trailor-trash, of course. Your question itself point to two opposing, yet equally unnerving attitudes.
"I am a black girl, why won't any guys ask me out?"
1) Either you think anybody would want to date you just because your black, or
2)You seem to take it as a form of racism that people aren't dating you.
Evaluate your ego. How do you know you can be a great girlfriend if no one will date you?
Or, worst case scenario, maybe you're not as cute as you think. That would also be an ego problem, and explain why your friend wouldn't dare ask you out. Too afraid of what jokes his homies might say.
Bottom line is nobody wants a stuck up snob. Look at paris hilton, she can't get action unless she had a paper bag on her head.
2007-10-22 09:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by intrepid_mesmer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sure that you are a great and beautiful girl. If those guys cannot see that then they are not worth it. Who you are around your friends and these other guys that you are interested in sounds totally different. They may not be asking you out because you aren't showing them that amazing person that you are capeable of being!! If you've had guy friends that didn't ask you out, then maybe they didn't want to risk losing the friendship with you because they do care about you. If the guys are asking out the ones that "want every guy" it's because they aren't looking for a girlfriend...they want something else, and I'm sure you know what I mean. You aren't that type of girl, so maybe you're just looking at the wrong ones that can't appreciate someone as great as you! Now go out there and show em how great you are!! :) Good luck!
2007-10-22 09:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by fontainegraphix 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you ever show them any interest?
Are you really intimidating? Looks, brains, muscles?
Guys don't like being turned down. It's probably the single most likely reason we don't ask girls out when we like them.
If this gender equality thing would catch up already and girls would ask guys out, then I don't think guys would have such a problem, but we are the ones who have to do all of the work and then run the risk that you'll turn us down.
So one way of getting around this is never "asking" the girl out, but just kind of easing into hanging out and things progressing.
If that doesn't work, mad flirtation can work, but it can also say that you're a tease and as much as we like playing with teases, we get sad when we can't have you (no, I'm not only talking about physically).
Your best bet is to ask one of your platonic guy friends. Maybe he can tell you what he thinks. Offer tips, critique you...etc.
2007-10-22 09:10:31 · answer #4 · answered by Nate F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
am black too and believe me,there aint nothing wrong with the color of ur skin.so stop saying,am black why dont guys ask me out.abt u making a move first,it may or may not be a good idea.first of all,i come frm a country where its frowned upon if a girl makes the first move.second,if u realize the guy likes u and u like him,it may not be such a bad idea at least 2 give him some small sorta green light.if hes a nice guy,hell take some sorta cue frm that.so jus be patient ok?
2007-10-22 09:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by electralove88 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does you being black have to do with anything??
Just be yourself, socialize. Guys do like forward girls. Use your eyes and look them into the eyes...eye contact is key in getting a guys attention. Dont stare just glace over and catch his eye, hold it there for just a moment or two, but make sure you are interested in the guy first otherwise you will be followed around by someone you arent visually interested in. Trust me...or go up to a guy you think is cute, after making eye contact, and ask if they want to hear a joke, make sure its a funny one, you dont want to hear crickets after a move like that. That works for me every time.
Hope this helps a bit!
Good luck!
2007-10-22 09:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey...I think me and you have the same problem...I'm very shy around cute guys but not around the guys I hang out with. I try to pratice talking in the mirror or with friends to try to be more outgoing around cute guys.
Remember if you wait on them to ask you out then chances are you'll wait a life time. Some really hott guys are shy like you but don't show it. Just go up and talk to them!
Best of luck to you!
2007-10-22 09:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Like most people...men even though they have to do the asking...have a fear of rejection. They usually go for the fast girls, because they show interest and are less likely to say no. You can be shy and still let a guy know that you're interested. You don't have to come outright and say...hey I like you, but like catching their eye sight and holding it instead of looking away or maybe lingering a little longer on a hug good bye...just subtle signs you're interested.
2007-10-22 09:09:43 · answer #8 · answered by The Cali Kid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, the "hot guys" probably consider you too shy and your friends either consider you to be one of the Guys or you are too out going with them. it is most likely all in the attitude you emit. as for the "why do most guys go ask out those loud, fast, want every guy type of girls but don't ask me out even when they like me" part, probably because they think the loud fast girls will put out, I hate to sound that way but that is how most guys think especially the "Hot" ones.
I suggest you just look around look and see who you see daily who gives you the fleeting glances the ones who you know stare at you until you look at them, find one of those guys and I assure you he is too shy to ask you out, so just walk up to him and say "Hay, want to go see a movie" or something,
2007-10-22 09:11:31 · answer #9 · answered by Loop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm making the assumption that you are still in high school, or possibly college. (Based on the fact that you referred to yourself as a girl rather than a woman) Guys, particularly in that age range, tend to be after (I know this is a sweeping generalization, but unfortunately it's true) sex, sex and more sex. If you are shy around them, they assume they can't score with you, and therefore don't try. They pick the girls they know will put out. Try making the first move. It's worked on me.
2007-10-22 09:11:14 · answer #10 · answered by vyperjeedai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scared of rejection?
Satisfied admiring you from afar?
Person is just a sucker?
you might be a little less nice to get along with than you think?
But really? Your high self esteem might be seen as conceit, especially since you say you are quiet. You know, they might think you're snobbish. I've met girls like that. Have to crack that quiet outer shell to get to know the real person. Most people I know take that "quiet, reserved girl" as stuck up.
2007-10-22 09:09:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋