Getting bored of wedding planning....?

Question

Has anyone else had this problem? I mean, we'd elope if we had the choice (we were going to, but now the parents (his; mine have no money) are paying and basically organising the entire day (they have plenty money to throw around)).

Problem is, I'm just so bored with all the organisation! I mean, I really, really couldn't care less what colour the bridemaid's dress is, and if it matches my mother's, or what colour the table centrepieces are - table centrepieces - what????. I'm quite happy to just let her organise the whole thing (whatever rocks your boat), but at some point I just know she's going to want some input! (Like me choosing a dress, ha ha ha). Does anybody else find all this colour coordinating and wedding planning just dearthly boring?

I personally just want to be married to the man I love without all this fuss (but I don't want to fall out with his mother either! (She's lovely really, just very - well, girly?)

What are your experiences?

Answer 1

It's ok to feel this way! Not every woman has been dreaming of her wedding since she was a little girl. Let your future MIL have her fun and just relax.....try to ENJOY the time with HER - bond with her. Make it less about how boring the choices are, but more about spending quality time with his family and showing you care. Even though you're not into all the froo-froo girly stuff, you can hopefully muster up some excitement. I mean, this is YOUR wedding and they are paying for it. That's pretty nice of them! At the end of the day, it's just a big celebration for the 2 of you so try to see it that way. Don't get lost in the details. This time of wedding planning could potentially bond you and your mother in law forever. Take advantage of that! Just because you're not exactly alike doesn't mean you can't be close. You have one thing in common - you both love her son!!! :)

Answer 2

We were going to just go away and announce we were married when we got back and throw a big party but in the end we decided that we both wanted a proper wedding so I organised the whole thing myself in just 5 months and I made all the decisions myself (my husband was just happy with whatever I decided) and it couldn't have been better. Remember, it's YOUR wedding not your mum's or his mum's. It's your big day so do what you want to do, however you want to do it and if you upset people in the process then so be it.

Answer 3

I had the same thing all i wanted to do was run away and get married on our own, i couldnt care less about dresses and colour coding, do what u want to do it is your day after all, if you dont want it girly than dont let it stand up for yourself and have what u want, i wore a purple dress to my wedding and we had it in a registry office with only close family there it was lovely, your mother in law is probably just excited and wants to help so do some compromising when you look back on it you dont want to cringe about the pink frilly brides maid dresses!! good luck!!

Answer 4

Yes. I completely got bored of it. Delegate. My mother is really into flowers. I let her COMPLETELY do the flowers. She found the florist, met with him, and took him a couple pictures. She took pictures of my dress, the bridesmaids dresses, and other things and talked for hours. I saw them on my wedding day. She'd call and ask a question and I'd say, "mom you know I don't know a mum from a lily. you decide".

As far as my mother and mother-in-law, I didn't care about their dresses. It doesn't matter what they wear. They ended up wearing dresses that were nearly matching. She didn't care and neither did I.

Bridesmaids dresses. Everything I picked out looked terrible. My sister isn't built anything like me. She is very curvaceous and voluptuous. I sent her to the store to pick out 3 dresses she really liked and looked good on her. She did and then I picked one of those. It was gorgeous!

I'm sure there are some things that really matter to you. For me it was the general atmosphere. I wanted to make sure that everything looked great and was a wonderful party, a fun-filled evening for all. I spent a while on invitations--b/c I wanted to make sure we didn't spend too much. I was very budget conscious. I cared greatly about the cake. That was probably my most important. I did that without any input from anyone. Same with my dress. I didn't let anyone see my dress until I'd limited it down to a Top 3. But the little things didn't matter.

Figure out what matters to you. What will destroy "the perfect day" for you? Keep control of that. But I didn't say a WORD in coordinating showers, dresses and flowers. I gave my mother-in-law complete and utter control of the rehearsal dinner without my input on anything. I gave my mother 90% control of sanctuary decoration. I made sure she didn't put bows everywhere, but I did give her 90% control. I gave my sister a list of my maid of honor and a bunch of people I'd like invited to the bachelorette party. I didn't care what she did, what she planned. I later found out she got a hell of a lot of grief from a couple of my bridesmaids who thought it should be all about them instead.

You'll find you have so much less stress. After all, your maid of honor can plan a bachelorette party. What's the worse she could do? Plan a night at a club you hate? How bad is that really? If you give your mother total control of something she enjoys, it will be one less thing on your mind.

I stayed nearly completely stress free by letting everyone take one element that they love.

Answer 5

I agree with you totally. Luckily I don't have anyone else shoving their opinion down our throat but I just wish our wedding was tomorrow everyday. I've pretty much hit wedding capacity. We (fiance and I) have consciously had non-wedding days, no planning for or thinking about the wedding. I really don't understand the girls who have dreamed about their wedding day since they were little girls, I've seen them around squealing while trying on dresses, freaking out in the wedding planning aisle of craft stores. The only important "detail" that I am concerned about is marrying the man I love, not all the fuss that comes along with it.

Answer 6

If she hasn't made any deposits and can't lose any money I say cancel the reservations and head for Vegas or some Hawaiin Resort and elope just like you said. It may be her son that you are marrying, but ultimately it is your wedding and you future marriage! Do it how you feel is right, she'll have to understand... and if she doesn't then she was never going to anyway!

Answer 7

Think yourself lucky that you have someone to pay for it!!
Both sets of parents are skint so we have to find a way to pay for it ourselves.
Ebay is my saviour, I have bought my dress for £46 and Invitations for £1 ish a pack - And I've had fun doing it too!!

Even if it bores you I would have as much input as you can or it will end up being their day and not yours, as it should be!!

Answer 8

Yep, i agree! It can be a very frustrating time and it seems like everyone else is just too concerned with the details and how you are going to get them done, I think you should do what makes you happy, even if it does mean just stepping back and letting someone else deal with it all, LUCKY YOU!!!! ;)

Answer 9

Let her do it all, and yes, you will need to pick out your clothes for yoru wedding. I like planning things--whatever it is (party, wedding, daytrip, vacation)--so that's more up my alley, but if you don't, you don't. That's a big reason people hire wedding planners. Just tell her you trust in her judgement, and thank her for all her hard work.

Answer 10

You want to think yourself lucky in one way. my mother in law to be is the spitting image of hyacinth bucket. all airs and graces, looks down on everyone as if they are paupers and don't deserve to be on the planet even though she comes from a council estate. even though we are organising and paying for it ourselves we have had to book the most expensive b****y venue in the whole of oxfordshire so she can act all posh and up her own a**e on the day. apparently we have to ensure that raymond blanc is cooking the b***dy wedding dinner now!!!! i wish she was a bit more girly and less bitchy. i am getting sick of hearing all about it already. by the time i get round to marrying my g/f i think i may be locked up for murdering her interfering mother!