My brother in law, his wife, and daughter have lived with us for two years. How can I ask them nicely to move?

Question

We offered for them to live with us when they first got married so they could save money to buy a house. Two years later they havn't saved a dime and have talked about moving out but won't take steps to do so. It has put a real strain on my marriage and my relationship with them. Also my mother in law is at my house watching my son 4 days a week and stays all night two nights a week. Everything combined has made me a rather bitter person. They are all I think about lately. Every day gets worse. And of course my husband is not bothered by it as much as I am because its his brother. I could go on forever with stories of things that have happened but that would take forever.

Answer 1

Every woman wants and needs her house to be hers! You have a right to feel the way you do. Be honest with them but think about the reasons you want them gone before you talk to them. Don't wait until it gets to the boiling point.

Also talk to your husband first and let him know what your plans are. Be sure to let him know that your first reason is to get him and your children all to yourself. And I am sure that is true. Geez, I bet you have to put restraints on even what you lounge around in at your own house, don't you? That's not a great situation for the privacy you and your family deserve.

Yes, as one of the posters said, be honest and the worse case will be that you have to tell them what you wrote here. Good luck.

Answer 2

Wait until his birthday or some holiday you can justify giving a gift for and give him the cheapest trailer money can buy and offer to help him move in on your next day off from work! That's the nice way to do it, you could just have a long talk with your wife and get her to let you kick him out altogether, he and his girlfriend should just move into her place, not wanting to live with him is a bad excuse since apparently she's staying with him at your place during the week anyways. Or if he's superstitious and a little dumb you could convince him your house is haunted, just photoshop some old newspapers about a murder taking place in your house and bump around and moan in the night to scare him. Jokes aside I hope you can get this freeloader taken care of, good luck!

Answer 3

You really need to have a talk with your husband first. You have been too soft over the last few years.
1. Does he know how you feel?
2. If he does then he is being unkind to you, if not tell him plainly and truthfully and do not take any excuses you need to be a little selfish here
3. Then sit down, be strong and agree a timescale not too short as they will make that as am excuse not to leave on time, say up to 6 months, then they have no come back.
4. Do not give in to the decision
5. If your husband does not back you up and the family do not go then it is time to re think your relationship as there are plenty of people who will love you for your kindness and not take advantage of it........as they are doing now.....GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

Wow, that's tough! I think you need to talk to your husband about this. He needs to understand that this isn't a normal living relationship and should be temporary. Two years is a long time. While you don't want to insult him or his family.....or lose your babysitter, you are not out of line to want to have some privacy and want his family to move out and get their own home. If your husband cares about you, he should understand that this isn't a good situation for you. If he doesn't understand, then be patient and keep trying to convince him that it's time for his family to go. It's probably not a good idea for you to confront the in laws about it, because then you will be the "bad guy" and could cause a family strain. This request will be better heard from your husband. Also, if you pray.....pray about it, God has a way of changing impossible situations. :o) Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Oh wow reminds me of a TV show.

You’ve been far to kind in 2 years they should have saved enough money to get their own place even its just an apartment. Or do what most people do take a loan out from bank. They have overstayed their welcome clearly; I would talk to your husband I realize he loves his brother, but its time his brother and his brothers family got into their own nest. Give them a time frame to move out with holidays approaching maybe you all can agree that they will be out by end of January 2008.

Answer 6

Sit down with them and be real. I want us to stay close friends and I really don't like this living situation anymore and I would like you all to get your own place before our relationship suffers. I'll give you a month or so to find a place. just tell the truth. If you are too nice about it, they may not take you seriously.

Answer 7

First, I would go to your husband and tell him...NOT ASK...that it is time for them to move on. Then, you go together and just tell them straight out. Things are getting a little cramped here and we would love to have OUR home back. 2 yrs is too long to live with someone else. It seems they are taking advantage of you and I would put a stop to it now. Good luck!!

Answer 8

Drop them hints by saying- Have you found a nice house yet? Because saving up money for a house doest take 2 years. If you tried, it cud take 1 month if u tried. we really like your company, but it is just too much for me." Good luck!

Answer 9

say something along the lines of i really enjoy you guys living here but honestly we would really like a little private space. then maybe before you do this find a few houses that you think that they might like. if that doesn't work just tell them what you told us. but only as a last ressort

Answer 10

I hope they were, at least, helping you with your expenses. I would talk to them and give them a month to find a place of their own...I don't know how you've been able to put up with it for 2 years. I couldn't.