Should I have to pay rent when living with my mom?

Question

My mother makes an exceptional amount of money but she claims she makes way less (which is not true). She's asking me to pay rent but I'm pregnant, going to school and have a full time job (bf doesn't live with me). I also have an 18 yr old brother who doesn't work, skips school (high school) and has stolen money from my mother in the past. I plan to save up & move out but I can't do that if I pay her rent. That money could go to my savings. She refused to ask my brother to get a job and insists that the money come from me. She even demands to see by budget to see if I actually can afford to give her money. I want to tell her respectfully that I don't think it's fair for me to pay when my brother isn't but I wanted a parent's opinion on why she might be acting like this, I feel like I'm just being picked on. BTW, we haven't always gotten along bc she has a reputation on being somewhat of a bully with me.

Answer 1

Unless you have the habit of spending too much money on things you shouldn't be spending money on, I think she is totally coming down too hard on you.

I could never do that to my child. It's like stealing from the poor. She must be trying to "teach" you a lesson about your burgeoning responsibilities. It makes no sense that she would be harder on you than your brother, though. But then again, parents let boys get away with stuff. My parents forgave my brother for a lot of things (bad grades, overspending his credit cards, getting speeding tickets) we girls would never get away with. Sort of like the whole "Oh, boys will be boys" bull****.

If you don't overspend, and use your money wisely, you should show her your budget. There's no reason to fight her on things and get argumentative and defensive. That'll only make her feel smug and she'll think she's doing the right thing in coming down hard on you. You should be an adult, show her your budget, but make sure that budget has hefty allottments for "savings for apartment," "savings for baby xxx," etc.

And if you are not combative back at her, that'll make her less bullying to you. No one wants to bully someone they can't get a rise out of.

Answer 2

Your mother may not treat you the way you want her to, but she is helping you out right now. I would take advantage of her idea with writing out a budget. You need to know how much you are saving each month to go toward your new place and when you will reach that goal. Perhaps if she knew that you would be out on your own by then she would give you some leeway with paying rent right now. Your mother should not be using how much she makes as a tool in asking you to pay rent. She should make enough to pay rent without you if she is going to get along once you move out. She is probably just trying to have control over a situation that may be stressful for her (as someone else said, you're pregnant and she is prolly worries about being stuck with a baby and you and your brother in her house!). You need to talk to her about the real issues here, and reveal/make a plan for your success on your own. I know if I were your mom I would prefer you saving and getting on your own long term over getting your rent money for a few months. Make a budget and stick to it!!! Good luck and congrats on the baby...oh yeah, your boyfriend needs to man up too and help get you guys on your feet.

Answer 3

Hi! My friend, hat's off to you for balancing all this and yet maintaining a pet, Phew! Well, what I see it is better to get a friend and then move into a rented apartment, at least you will have your privacy and your mom who I think is a heartless woman so repent for making you pay the rent. Get out of your house and get a 1 room appt with a room mate or get a room in a motel and bargain with the motel owner as you will be living for a long time there.

Answer 4

Pay rent in the long run it will be better for you. But put it down on paper how much and when its due so there is no question. Also if your not paying for electricity, water,an cable your still coming out ahead. Take it as a learning experience before you fly off on your own with your baby. As for your brother remember he's still in school and yeah he could go to work but if your mom doesn't want him to there's nothing you can do. However you will feel better and be a better example to your child by doing this. It may hurt paying at first but budget for it, you can do this and do it with a smile. Who knows once mom becomes a grandma maybe she'll lighten up. Good Luck.

Answer 5

The way I'm reading this is that you and your Mom haven't always gotten along. Forget about your brother, he has nothing to do with this... let him and your Mom work things out for themselves. I think maybe because your pregnant that your Mom is either trying to get you to be able to live on your own and be a responsible for whats ahead of you, or she is maybe a little worried that she will have to foot the bill for another child. I applaued you for going to school and working while being pregnant. Don't quit thats the right thing to do. If you dont want to pay your Mom then maybe you and the childs Dad can get a place together either way looks to me like your gonna have to pay your own way. Im sorry hun i know you are young... but thats life... wish there was more i could say...

Answer 6

Looks like this, you are staying in a rented house, you would pay the rent and other utilities correct?
Except that you are leaving with your mother. You have a full time job and you should think about that. The situation may be difficult or not the best for you.
Is it possible that you are getting more than what you could have got with a rented property.
Your mother ask you to pay rent not for her son to work, is a concerning factor, but should not be combined with this.
Again, relations are different and hard to say what is best for situation.

Answer 7

She thinks maybe you are gonna stick the baby on her to raise sounds like to me. Make a deal with her that give you a few months free rent after the baby is born and you will then move out so you can save money but really save it because she might really want you to move out then or else the baby might soften her up a little and ask for less rent from you

Answer 8

If you're 21 years old, working a full time job and wish to live with your parents, then it's Ok to pay some $ to your mother, no matter how much you'll pay her there, it would be much cheaper for sure than living outside your home, trust me. I suggest to come up with compromising deal. Pay 10%-20% of your net pay or pay any fixed amount every month. If U don't help at all at home, U can help out instead of paying $.

Answer 9

If you are over 18 you should be paying rent and helping with the bills (electric, cable, phone, groceries, etc) in addition to helping out with upkeep on the home, just like you would be doing if you lived in your own place. If you can't afford to move out on your own, then look for roommates near school or work.

And never try to pull a tit for tat with a younger sibling still living at home, it will never work. You're an adult now and soon to be a mother, start acting like one.

Answer 10

What your mother make is really none of your business. You should pay rent. You cannot live anywhere for free. You are not your brother. Ask the man who got pregnant to pay rent for you. you made a baby, be an adult. Pay rent!