Getting nervous when eating at a friend's house?

Question

Whenever i go over my best friend's houses (she's the only friend's house i go to) when it comes to eating i can't swallow, getting uneasy etc. i can't even eat half of the food on my plate there and they start to believe i barely eat or i'm ana. they even said some hurtfully things like saying "i bet she won't eat all of that, don't waste food etc" "you need to eat more" "you look like your starving" or tease me. is there anything that could help?

Answer 1

They may not be teasing so much as taking notice of it and expressing it in both a "childlike" way as well as a "copy" of probably their parents own phrases. It also may be taking the focus off their own uncomfortablness with eating in front of others, by placing the focus on you.

I do not know why but this eating problem seems common with alot of girls as opposed to boys.

What I say often, is no one but you knows how you feel. They have no idea your nervous. Only you know that. So don't show it. Present you are confident and not uncomfortable to eat in front of them.

They won't know the difference other than they see you eating. That new change will pass fast too as everyone eats. It ONLY stands out when you do it when you are uncomfortable and shy away from it. If you project it isnt of concern to you, it wont be to them either and you just keep eating until your done. Keep the shy part to yourself in words and actions. You can do it!!

If you can act as if it isnt an issue regardless of how you really feel, you will become more comfortable about it and they will forget its an issue too. So pick up the food, eat it and talk about something else to take the focus off eating. If you pretend it doesnt bother you, thats what they will see and forget the rest. In the meantime you will get use to eating in front of others and it will be ok with you soon. If you don't it will only become a life long problem for you. Knick it in the butt now. Your ready to or it wouldnt be an issue right now. So do it!! Remember we know you can!!

You just kind of have to take control of it and decide you wont let it be a problem anymore and pretend it isnt'. Your in charge from now on. You tell yourself that everytime you need to and then take charge. It gets easier I promise. Its that first step or tread of water thats the scariest. Go for it. Once you begin and stick with it watch how easy it all becomes. Then you will be the one helping some other girl through it!!!

Ps when they make comments saying you look annorexic or like your starving simply say "No I'm not. Its jsut you pay such close attention to what I am eating all the time it must seem like it to you". "Do you always focus so much on one's appetite or is it just an interest you have in me?"

Good luck!

Answer 2

Doesn't sound like they're very helpful when you are having a hard time. Are they always teasing? It sounds like they're very uneasy people to be around and so whatever you do you feel criticised.
If you don't feel right, don't go there again, or just don't take what they say to heart and try not to be so nervous about eating. I mean, if you don't want it, you don't have to eat it, but if you're hungry and they're just making you feel uncomfortable, ignore them. I assume you're a fairly nervous person who wouldn't feel comfortable with saying how bad it makes you feel, so maybe just try to switch off.

I used to hate eating in front of people when I was younger, and I did have an ED, but it's something I get used to, and I know that if I'm just eating like normal, when everyone else is eating, they really don't care what I'm doing. It does sound like they're being a bit horrible though and I feel sorry for you. I hope you can get through it.

Answer 3

I don't know how old you are but I had this when I was in my teens. Time solved a lot of it - getting used to eating in front of other people.

Its a very hard thing to be going thruogh and I really empathise,

I wonder if seeing a hynotherapist would help as they do have good results with persostent havbits - It is a deep realxation you never lose control adn should go with a friend or relative.
If a practitioner is any good they will allow this.

good luck. i did nothing and it eventually went but I did have a hard time for a long time it isn't soemthing to be flippant about

Answer 4

yes, stop accepting dinner invitations...

sometimes, people are just joking, but to you it may seem like a threat or put down.

eat at home.

Answer 5

Sounds like anxiety. Not much you can do about that.