A man is out fishing and realizes he was supposed to be home an hour ago. He jumps in his car and speeds away, checking his watch as he zooms over a small bridge. After crossing the bridge, he looks in his rear view mirror, only to see flashing blue and red lights. Swearing to himself, he pulls to the side of the road.
The state trooper gets out of his car, walks up to the man's window and says, "I caught you on radar doing forty-five at the end of that bridge. The speed limit is thirty-five. Can I see your license?"
As the man hands his license to the trooper, he says, "Can't you give me a warning? I was late for work."
The trooper takes that license, starts to writes the ticket and says, "Sorry, the law is the law. What do you do for a living?
"I'm a rectum stretcher," the man replies.
"A WHAT??" the cop asks incredulously.
"A rectum stretcher," the man replies. "I go to people's houses when they need to be stretched. I start with one finger, then go to two, then three and four. then a whole hand. Then two hands. Then I pull my hands apart until it is a full six feet across."
The cop, whose jaw has dropped in amazement, peers over his sunglasses and asks, "What are you supposed to do with a six foot asshole?"
"Give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge."
2007-10-22 07:41:21 · 24 answers · asked by Jim Jnr M 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaa
2007-10-22 07:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Did I mention I got a speeding ticket on my vacation this year!!!!!! I would have liked to hire that guy to do a job on the cop who pulled us over!! $180.00 we weren't the only ones who got pulled over a local bumkin got pulled over too. They let him go with a warning!! Now you might think this is funny the town was called Cash Creek. The cop was a six foot @sshole. Fact is stranger than fiction!!! ILMAO !!!
2007-10-22 07:55:09 · answer #2 · answered by Polar Molar 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Although the horse is blind... I am pretty sure he knew other horses were not there. If you close your eyes, you can usually tell if someone else is in the room.. because you can hear them breathe. Same thing with a horse.. he was probably sitting there thinking to himself "mann... that farmer sure is dumb!"
2016-04-09 21:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahhahaaaaaaaa....hahhahahaaaaaaaa....ahahahaaaaaaaaaa...enough said
2007-10-23 01:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tee hee! Nice one.
2007-10-22 07:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha. Frankly I think that's stretching it a bit!!
:-)))
2007-10-22 11:20:42 · answer #6 · answered by Teejay 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one!
2007-10-22 07:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by lucy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one!
2007-10-22 07:45:21 · answer #8 · answered by flashpro 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes ha ha,a star on the way ha ha.
2007-10-22 07:45:06 · answer #9 · answered by Spot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is the best joke ever.
2007-10-22 07:51:47 · answer #10 · answered by candle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha he he he he he he he
2007-10-22 21:38:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋