what to do and what decision to make...?

Question

ok...im been dating this guy for the past 1.5 years, we have been through a lot and ive done so much for him but i feel like he takes me for granted...he says i expect too much from him but all i do is try to improve the relationship..i love him so much and i dont want to loose him because of our differences but then again i feel like theres no hope for us in the future...we have broken up a few times and end up geting bak together..i am seriously fed up with his selfishness and immaturaty...i know i can often be too bossy. should i let it go or try?

keep in mind that we have compromised in a lot of things and fixed many more...and we have broken up at least 5 times in the past 1.5 yrs, stayed separated for a few days then get bak..im 21 and hes 24

Answer 1

If someone doesn't want to change you can't make them! I know others who've been in your shoes, but it always boils down to the same choices: accept him as he is, tell him how you feel and give him one last chance to change, make sure he knows it's a final chance, (but it has to be the last chance, or they will just take for granted that you won't carry out your threat, or you'll take them back in the end)! The only other option is to finish it now, with no more chances. Most people go for the second, but it's a choice you have to make, because it obviously isn't a relationship that makes you completely happy, however much you love him!
Best of luck, but I'm sure you know deep down what the right decision for you is!

Answer 2

If you have already tried several times, and each attempt fails, why keep trying? You can not force love. You can not force getting along, and being happy with each other. If that doesn't come naturally, there is a problem. I think you should let it go, take some time for yourself to get your thoughts together and then find your true love. You are going to hurt because you still have feelings for him. It isn't fair to either of you to stay together if you know there is no future in it. You are just waisting time. Time that both of you could be spending with someone you really love. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Let it go. Why live your life with a messed up relationship? Plus it sounds like you are young. Enjoy being young! There are other men in the sea.

**more info**
It sounds like you two are both trying to make the best of the relationship. Good for you. However, the fact you have doubts and breaking up and getting back together seems like there may be a problem. The decision is yours and you have to ask yourself a lot. But keep in mind, you can love someone a lot but conflicts in personalities can force the relationship to failure.

I suggest talking to an unbiased friend or family member. They probably have a better idea of the situation than you can explain online.

Good luck.

Answer 4

If you have to try to improve the relationship, then it's probably not the right match. Yes, all relationships take work and patience, but I myself after being divorced twice have finally met the person that makes it so easy. We share several of the same interests, we share the housework, we share the bed etc. I wish I had met him years ago, but I'm sure we were both different people then. Don't be afraid to keep your eyes open because the right person will find you when it's time, but don't stay in a relationship if you feel like you're not getting as much as you are giving.

Answer 5

If you cant see a future together than I dont think there is much point in you being a couple. If you feel he takes you for granted than you need to talk to him. You say you've had an on again off again relationship. Do you see it staying that way forever? Because if you do than whats the point? No one wants that!I think that you also have faults - which you've realised by the sounds of it - and you need to talk to each other about it. If he cant see a future either than you should probably go your seperate ways...You need to think and talk about how you feel. Good luck.

Answer 6

If you keep breaking up and getting back together, that right there isn't healthy, and 9 times out of 10 these kinds of relationships don't work out because they are already way dead.

On top of that, it sounds like there is a lot of differences in opinions, and neither 1 of you is willing to compromise. I'd say this relationship is long gone to try and help it.

Compromise AND trust is key to a healthy/growing relationship

good luck!

Answer 7

15 years is such a long time and you know what if you were truly fed up you wouldn't be asking this question you would know what to do. You don't want to leave this relationship it's obvious and that's not a bad thing, you two love eachother. You should keep trying don't throw all those years away.

Answer 8

It seems to me that you have tried and nothing has changed. If you feel like he is taking you for granted and talking to him about it hasn't changed things then I say its time to move on. If you feel he is selfish and immature and that he is not going to change then move on. Relationships are give and take. There has to be compromise on both parts. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 9

if you truly love eachother, then there should have been no reason to break up and get back together numerous times. If you break up, it really should be the end. If you both care about eachother, work it out.

Answer 10

let it go.... he's already told you he's not serious, and is apparently not interestedin improving your relationship. And if your assessment of yourself that you are too bossy is correct, then you don't respect him, either. Cut your losses and cut him loose.