My husband and I just got married 7 months ago, he go out the navy last year because they where sending him far away for 3 yrs, and we where still in a strong relationship. We love each other , and we are plannig to have babies in a short term. My family is in San Diego, and we are right now in Miami orders, they end in 5 months, my question is, we want a good life, a estable job for the family, I have a degree too so I can follow him where ever he goes, what chances are that if gets orders back, he will be away from me? We want our life in San Diego, but we both know its difficul, but how difficult this is? my dream is going back to San Diego , and see him happy in the military , but i know this is hard, we are working to get his bachelors so he can turn officer in 1 yr, he is e4, What choices are out there? is there something in San Diego that he can work on ? How the orders look like going back ? Will they give him bad orders? Can we stay togheter most of the time? :(
2007-10-22 06:52:47 · 5 answers · asked by Betty 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
He is ctr e4, he serve 5 yrs already and got out last year
2007-10-22 07:48:22 · update #1
He is in the west coast,
2007-10-23 03:22:14 · update #2
Katharine has given you some VERY good advice. By the wording of your question, I'm going to assume that he's at shore command right now. If that's the case, then it's a pretty sure bet his next command will be a sea command and that means deployment. Our son just got back from 7+ months out. As far as San Diego goes, unless you've got some super duper reasons to give the Navy, and what you want has got pretty much nothing to do with it, it all boils down to one thing...needs of the Navy. They'll send him where they need him, not where he wants to go. If they NEED him in San Diego, then maybe. If they don't NEED him there, forget it--it ain't happening. And the closer he gets to his discharge, the less wiggle room the detailer drawing up his new orders will have to work with. Tell him to go talk to the detailer--he's pretty much the only one that can advise him what his chances are. There are just far too many if's, and's, or but's to answer your question fully. And besides, none of us can write him orders, right? The thing that YOU need to think about right this minute is, do you want to be a military wife? Can you handle the separation? Because if he stays in and goes career like it sounds like you may be alluding to, then you can bet your bottom dollar you're going to be spending time apart in some pretty big chunks. Are you ready? Can you handle virtually being a single mom while he's gone? Think about it. If you can't, then, for both your sakes, tell him NOW. Then, and only you know your husband, are you ready to be the reason he gave up his dream, if in fact that's what it is to him? Are you prepared to handle the resentment that may cause down the road? And don't think that if it doesn't show up in the first few months that it won't in ten years when he looks back. I really hate to sound harsh, but it sounds like you've got some TOUGH decisions to make. Whatever you decide to do, just be sure the two of you talk and talk and then talk some more about it. Good luck, sweetie!
2007-10-22 07:55:58 · answer #1 · answered by NavyMomSS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not enough information regarding your spouses career. How long has he been in the service? What is his rate? A Bachelors Degree does not automatically mean he'll be accepted into the Officers program. Many enlisted members have a Bachelors.
When you marry someone in the service it is very important to support the career and the choice to volunteer. The marriage will fail if this is not something you are willing to do. He will have at some point, go to Sea. When he is on a ship, obviously, you will not be able to accompany the sailor. If you are not able to function independently, then being with a member of the military is not suited for you. The lifestyle of an Active Duty Member is not for the faint of heart. There are no guarantees and anyone who tells you, including the Detailer that he will be given dream orders is delusional.
E4's are usually, junior personnel. He most probably is in the beginning of his career. Additionally, you must consider the possibility of deployment to the Gulf or directly to Iraq. This again is only for those who want to serve and have the support of their loved ones. This are very big life decisions and I recommend that you honestly speak to your spouse as well as another spouse who is further down the military path and listen to their prospect.
Good luck, and fair winds and following seas.
2007-10-22 07:08:03 · answer #2 · answered by Katharine E 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband drilling at the NOSC here in Miami? If he is, he needs to talk to YNC. If you can't handle the Navy life though, deployments, separations, etc.. he shouldn't rejoin. There's no guarantee you'll get the orders you want all the time. He could get chosen to go IA to Iraq, or Qatar or Afghanistan for a year.. If you're already on the East coast, chances are you won't get sent to the west coast. The Navy is trying to save money by not giving people cross country orders unless its necessary.. and as a CTR, he'd more than likely get stationed in Jax, Mayport, Pensacola or Norfolk. Feel free to email me, if you have more Miami specific questions about who to talk to though.
2007-10-22 10:04:03 · answer #3 · answered by Denise S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one: no gty that having a 4 year degree means he will get picked up for OCS.
2: CTRs can be stationed ANYWHERE, but since he is on the East Coast, they will most likely send him to Norfolk. if he is allowed to go AD.
Three: going Active from reserves is EXTREMELY hard to do right now in the CTx community.
Four: he'd most likely go to sea duty if he were allowed to make the jump to Active. If he went Shore.. think Ft Meade, Ft Gordon and Kunia. none of which are anywhere near San Dawg. VERY slim chance of going to the DIRSUP shop in SD.
2007-10-22 08:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
attempt and do what redleg and Atruesoldier mentioned to do on the recruiting station the place I stay and you'd be handed a DAR inquiring for which you be be discharged from DEP and ask to sign it. Refuse and you'd be shown the way out of the development and informed "do no longer permit the hatch hit you interior the a$$ on the way out". In todays recruiting ecosystem, you're actually not in command, in case you do no longer choose what you signed for and picture the army could bend on your each and every desire and command, the army does not choose you.
2016-10-04 08:56:04 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋