How do you feel about large families? ( i mean really large, like over 10 kids)?

Question

when you see a mom with 10/12 kids trailing behind her do you tend to look down on her? would you feel differently if there were 2 parents? if you knew some of the kids were adopted and not all from the parents, would you feel differently? what about if you knew they lived in a big house and all the kids needs are met, or if they crammed into a single apartment? over all how do you feel about large families in general, not personally knowing anything about them? thanks for your help. my mom is dating a man with a large amount of kids and should this relationship get serious, i just wanted to know if other people would look down on her or give us dirty looks just because of us kids. and please tell the truth. don't just say "i don't judge other people" to get a thumbs up. thanks again.

Answer 1

I love large families. If i can financially and emotionally afford it, i wld love hvg one too. It is not quantity. Both parents must be happy and in a position to provide emotionally needs to love and care for all of them. I always admire parents who raise a whole bunch of kids and all of them are respectful, responsible and with good discipline and each successful in their own ways. That is really amazing !!!

Answer 2

It depends on the situation. If I see a parent or couple with a huge amount of kids, the first thing I think is, "I hope they can really provide for all of them." Some people have the means (financially, emotionally, time-wise) to care for a bunch of kids, and some don't. My favorite example of a large family that works well is the Duggars. You might have seen them on Discovery Health Channel or TLC - they have 17 kids now. They know what they're doing and they know what works, and it works well. Although I might not agree with everything they do, they keep their kids happy, healthy, cooperative and respectful. They don't buy anything they can't afford to pay for with cash - they have no debt! They do have to cut some corners with things like clothes, and the kids all have to do a lot to help out around the house. But they're a very loving family and because of the way they have been raised, the kids are happy being part of such a large pack.

Anyway, my point is that it absolutely depends on how the family operates. If the parents can't provide for that many kids, or if they don't have the mastery of skills needed to effectively raise as many kids as they have, then it's a bad thing. But if they know what they're doing, then I say go for it.

To answer your real question... yes, your mom and the man she is dating might get weird looks in public, and people might think they're crazy for taking care of so many children. But in the end, if they're doing it right, who cares? Your mom knows what she's getting into if this does get serious, so don't worry about her. =)

Answer 3

I think that as long as the children's needs are met that it is not anyone's place to judge a family based on the size of that family. Please also note that when I say needs, I mean food and clothing and shelter-not necessarily eating out several times a week or wearing brand name clothing or living in a fancy house, but having the necessities. Another necessity is time and attention which CAN still be given to children in large families and is just as important, if not more so, than the food, clothing and shelter.

If I saw a mother with a large number of children that I did not know, I would not judge. How do you know they are all hers and not just some of her own children and some friends of theirs, or children she babysits, or perhaps a 4-H or Scout troop on an outing, etc? Just because a husband is not with her, does not mean one does not exist-perhaps he is at work to provide for that family, or at home working around the house, or perhaps he even recently passed away-again, I would not judge.

And also, who would I be to judge how big their home is? I have a 9 year old daughter and a 7 year old son, and until last year they shared a bedroom. I think it made them closer! We got a larger home last year, and have another baby now and she will eventually move into her sister's room. Children do not need their own rooms. As long as their is space for them all to sleep, to each their own-whether they be separated by gender, age or what not.

I have three children of my own now, and I know that our family is not complete. While I do not think we will have ten plus children, we do intend to have more-via birth and/or adoption. I do, however, have a close friend with ten children. Both parents are present, all have the same set of parents. The children (ranging in age from 19 to 8, including two sets of twins) are well cared for and more well mannered than most children-my own included. I am sure some people judge her, and shame on them for doing so because they could probably learn a lot from her-I certainly have.

I think that as long as your mother is happy, that is all that matters and if the time comes you should embrace your new family. It will not always be perfect, but it would not be even if there were not as many children involved. I wish you all the best!

Answer 4

Assuming that I didn't know anything about the family, say if I saw them in Walmart, the first thing I would notice is how they are dressed. It may sound bad, but if they're dressed in crappy clothes (sweats and torn dirty t-shirts) and the kids have dirty faces, my first though would be "there's my tax dollars hard at work" and "if you're going to have kids, at least be able to take care of them". However, if I saw a family with 10 or 12 kids and they were all dressed decently, hair combed and clean and the parents were clean looking, then I would assume (correctly or incorrectly, whichever the case), that okay, that's what they chose, and I'm assuming they're able to support their family from the looks of things. That's honestly what I would think by just seeing them in the store or something.

Answer 5

If the children are being loved and cared for and the parents are up the task of supporting their kids and parenting them, then I say go for it! 10 people in a small apartment, that's not good. I mean, if they are able to live as people with smaller familes do, in a house that is right for them, and all are provided for an given the attention and direction and love, then it's okay. If it's a low-life woman who just keeps having kids and is living off other people and welfare, who doesn't provide or care for the kids, then I cringe and get angry.

Answer 6

As long as the parents/guardians of the children can adequately provide for them -- then the more the merrier!

I think large families are great -- I am an only child (now an adult) and I hated growing up with no brothers or sisters. When you have such a large family, there is bound to always be somebody around to be with.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with having a large family. I grew up in a large family - 4 boys and 3 girls and I had the time of my life. My mom remarried when I was 12 to a man who had three sons - then they had one. I think it has made me more outgoing and friendly and I also think that it has made me more accepting of different things. Just go with the flow honey - you'll be just fine.

Answer 8

I like it. My husband has 4 brothers and 2 sisters. I am the oldest of 4 kids. My husband and I already have planned on having at least 6 kids. But he'll probably have more kids because I plan on being a surrogate for my husband and his first wife so she can have her own biological children since she is infertile. My eldest brother in law has 13 children and does an excellent job.

Answer 9

Cry me a river, Canada. My husband is Canadian and that i spend a large number of time there. Your concern isn't any the place close to as undesirable as the place I stay. I invite you to spend one hour in grossly overpopulated Southern California, which looks plenty like Tijuana now, and then ***** approximately your plight in Canada. a minimum of your immigrants are criminal and don't sell drugs and shoot up the streets each and every of the at the same time as calling you a racist for no longer accepting the "cultural variety" of a corrupt and filthy third international neighbor to the south. Be grateful which you're sandwiched between the US and the Arctic and don't share a land border with a chaotic hell hollow. those that scouse borrow tax funds suck. those that kill your toddlers, kidnap your better half and decapitate law enforcement officials suck much greater.

Answer 10

I don't care how many kids other people have; I don't care if their kids are adopted or not; I don't care how big their house is; and it's certainly none of my business if the parents are married or not. I do care if the parents are loving and caring and doing their best to provide for their kids. Some people don't do too well with one child. Others do fabulously with a lot.