Meaning, should I be physically present in the room, or is it better if he does it alone? I've heard both sides of the debate, just wondering what you think.
2007-10-22 06:43:20 · 47 answers · asked by Naughty ♥Angel♥ Mommy2B! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Do whatever you think he's most comfortable. If he would like you there, then stay. If he feels better doing it by himself, let him. Congrats and good luck!
2007-10-22 06:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
I'm of the camp where he doesn't ask at all. I think it is an archaic tradition that is steeped in property rights. Also, let's face it, if your father says no will that actually stop him from asking you? No, it wouldn't.
HOWEVER, that being said, if he plans on asking then he should do it alone. He is a man approaching another man about a subject. He needs to do this on his own with his own merit.
There is another camp of thought that I am more fond of. That is the engaged couple go to the parents and ask for their blessing. This says that they are a united front and will do as they please but would like the support of the family.
2007-10-22 07:32:01 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him do it alone. I think that is the traditional way, and as well, he can focus on them and not feel the pressure of you watching him do it. As well, your parents will appreciate having a few moments with him alone to discuss anything they really want to. When they say, "yes", they will be with him and be focusing on his question rather than your eyeballing them with how they are going to react. Yes, you can be in the same house, but I would recommend allowing them all to be alone just this once. Congratulations!
2007-10-22 06:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by baklavakay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Naughty Angel in my opinion your soon to be husband should be alone with your folks when he asks for your hand in marriage. My son flew from Canada to Thailand to ask for his brides hand in marriage. This is a long lost art that was the norm years ago but has like so many other things gone to the wayside. Best of luck, I am certain your parents will look at this as a brave and respectful thing that your mate is doing. Happy married life also.
2007-10-22 06:48:04 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I believe it is better that he does it alone. When your boy friend asks permission to marry you he will seem more like a man if he stand up and say that i love your daughter and i would like her hand in marriage. I did not even know my husband even had the ring when he proposed to me. He had done it all on his own. He even hide the ring in my parents closet hehe!
2007-10-22 06:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly Bean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should do it alone. He should have your parents blessing before he even asks you. Unless he has already asked you and you said yes. Then it should be something that the both of you talk to your parents about.
2007-10-22 06:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by tarie75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally the woman is not there. Being he's asking your parents permission to ask for your hand in marriage, it appears you're intent is to do things the traditional way.
Also gives your parents an insight on his feelings to you. It allows him to vocalize to your parents what you mean to him.
So I would say he does it alone
2007-10-22 06:49:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the tradition of asking the father for his daughters hand in marriage is done with out the daughter there, so that it is still a surprise for the daughter.
2007-10-22 06:54:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think not. If he has already asked you and you want to sit down and announce it to your parents that's one thing, but if he wants to ask their permission it's another... and in that case he would have to say something like "If it's okay with you, I would like to have your blessing in asking ______ to marry me", which is one of those 3rd person, you shouldn't be in the room type of questions.
2007-10-22 07:05:25 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Infatuation 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't necessary for him to ask your parents, unless you are not an adult. So I am guessing, this is something you yourself believe is necessary; or he does.
If he does ask your parents, then it is customary for him to be alone to ask them.
My concern is, what will happen if they reject him? Say 'No' to his request.
I think it is up to you and your boyfriend whether you marry or not; and you and your boyfriend ought to go to announce to your parents that you are getting married.
2007-10-22 06:51:16 · answer #10 · answered by 3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no protocol left for this sort of thing. If he's a man about it, he should take your father aside and talk to him. Then your father can bring your mother into it (as if she doesn't suspect and is orchestrating the whole thing already!).
If you're there it could devolve into a fistfight over whether they think he's worthy of you.
2007-10-22 06:48:10 · answer #11 · answered by Goethe's Ghostwriter 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋