is it normal in the arabic culture for the inlaws to run your life?

Question

my MIL and Sister in laws run the show in my house.
and my husband says that they are just helping u aroung the house.
i've explained to him that i need my privacy. but, he said "Sorry, I can't say anything to mommy, cause she will get mad" and this is normal. "why are you complaining, they are just helping"
but they come over and cook, clean, do everything for my husband. I wasnt brought up that way!
I want my PRIVACY!
any advice.
how can i tell my husband in a nice way? also, is this normal for arab MIL?

Answer 1

You are talking about a MIL and SIL who probably don't have much control over anything else going on in their lives, so they have to control their households and any others they can get hold of.
Your husband hasn't cut the umbilical cord, so don't expect things to improve by way of him.
About all you can do is get him on the same page: they cannot just come over, they must ask permission first.
Use the answering machine to screen phone calls.

Answer 2

It is normal in some middle eastern cultures for a mother to stay involved in her son's life long after he marries. In fact, in some cultures it is customary that when you got married your husband would have never left the house and you would have moved in with them. From there, it would have been a hiearchy. His mother would have been in charge, followed by his sister, followed by you. Basically, the woman who has been in the family the longest runs the show and power is distributed from there.

My advice to you is to do some research about the cultural beliefs that your husband was raised with. That way, when you address the problem you'll have a better chance understand their point of view. The best thing to do would be to find some middle ground where you don't insult their culture, but you stand your ground as well. Kindly suggest to your husband that you appreciate their "help" but that you would also appreciate some notice about when they are coming over and perhaps the right to limit the amount of time they spend in your home.

And by the way, it is normal in every culture for your in laws to try and ruin your life :). Good luck!

Answer 3

You should have been paying attention when you where dating , You where not paying attention of what was going on & said in front of you . You should have did your reseaech on marring and arabic man . First since you are not of the arabic culture then your the outsider and trust me he wants his mom & sister to do the things they are doing they do it because you are not arabic and he feels that you are not worth learning his ways. A REAL HUSBAND would teach you the ways . Your ways are of what you are and that right there are grounds for respect of each others cultures. But this is as good as it gets they are not gonna stop they will continue , Your husband will not ask them to stop nor does he want them to stop Oh yeah it gets worst when the kids come.

Answer 4

maybe but if youre in the usa just tell her to call first.