Please help me... before its too late?

Question

My dad beat me and the rest of my family. He threatened everyday of our lives. Now he's dead.But now he's gone my mom doesnt listen, look or understand me. But that has been going on for the past 4 years. She screams at me.I know thats normal parenting but thats the only way we communicate.I feel as if she pushes me away.So Ive pushed her out of my life
Ive given up on trying to make her see how I feel.Because
she doesnt understand my poetry and thats the only way I find I can tell her how I feel.But all that does is makes her scream at me for not understanding then she says "make me understand" and I say "I dont know how" and it just keeps going on like that. Now I'm too the point where I'm planning my
own death. By the way I'm just 15

Answer 1

I know right now you might feel that death might me the only way out. Seriously talk to someone in your guidance counselor that is what they are there for, not just career choices.
At 16 if it is really bad, and you feel that death is the only option you can get emancipated. Go to school, get a job, and live on your own.
12 years ago I thought that death was an answer. I never told anyone I thought that. I thought long and hard about what I was going to do. Then it hit me. The people that where driving me would forget me in about a year. My family would miss me, but after a while I would be a small thought in the back of their minds, except maybe on my b-day. My grave would be over grown and lonely maybe never visited after the first year of my death.
That is why I lived. I have a family now, husband, daughters, and am happy. And it wasn't always easy. Life save me a whole lot of lemons, and I made lemonade. And these are people that are going to remember me. When it is my time. I wish I could tell you everything that went through, but I don't think that the details are appropriate for someone 15, and via Y!A. But I can tell you there are people there to help. And there is always something better than death. Life is to short and precious.

Answer 2

Well, you haven't really asked a question but I am sorry you are so miserable. There is a combination of problems for you to deal with. First, let me say it is not normal parenting to beat or scream at your children. It sounds to me like your mom has many issues of her own to deal with which makes it difficult for her to do a good job of parenting you. It is unfair, but a fact that sometimes a mature adolescent, like you, has to parent themselves. You are dealing with the loss of your dad (even a bad relationship with a parent is a relationship that you miss when it is gone, because your whole life changes). The whole family dynamic changes when a parent dies or leaves. All you can do is try to keep your own head above water. Your mom needs professional help. If you are a member of a church, go to your pastor and tell him what is going on. If you are a not a member, I would suggest you find a church you are comfortable with and seek counseling from someone there. They can help you decide if there is any way to get your mom help, and they can help you decide how to deal with your own life. You cannot be responsible for your mom's happiness.

In the mean time, keep up the poetry. Writing is an excellent way to organize your thoughts and get some emotion out. Don't worry about your mom or anybody else understanding it. The point of poetry is that it is for YOU.
Another exercise is to start a gratitude journal. Every night, in a notebook, write down everything good about the day that you can think of, even little things like nice weather, or having enough money for lunch. After a while, you will find yourself seeing the positive in everything.

Every day is a gift. Sometimes it is buried and you have to look hard for it.
Good luck.

Answer 3

The communication you describe with your mother, because you are 15, is totally normal. It'll stay like that until you get to around 19-20, then steadily get better. For now, don't try to make her understand because it won't be successful. So stop wasting energy on that.

So how does your death help anything? How does it help you? Why not concentrate instead on your writing? Your poetry may end up helping other people in similar situations.

Your mom is suffering post traumatic stress, which you are, too, the result of your dad. Try to cut her a little slack. She isn't perfect but then neither are you.

Very soon things will open up for you. At 16 you can drive and get a job. Hang in there for that, at least, and then re-assess about your death.

Answer 4

Child, there are many, MANY people that don't feel understood...that have been abused physically and emotionally. You are not alone...and you can get help. Please, don't throw your gift of poetry away; don't let the legacy of your father take another life.

You may never get your mother to understand, and that's ok. It's not your job to make her understand. It's your job to take care of YOU. YOU are the one you must focus on now. She is where she is, and you can't take responsibility for that.

Can you tell us how you feel? Taking your life would rob the world of someone who has lived a hard life, and yet can find healing. I'm not talking about religion here. There is someone out there for you that can understand...or can be ok with NOT understanding. Just don't take your life...it's so precious...your poetry needs to be heard, not taken from the world. You survived a horrible journey, and the healing process will take time...but coming through the other side will make your poetry soar...

Please, get some help right away. I know it's as old as the hills, but you can get free help usually through a school, a church, a local mental health clinic. Talk to a counselor. What you need is someone to listen, who won't yell, who will hear you...and you can get that...maybe never from your mother, but you can get it elsewhere. PLEASE....

Peace be with you.

Answer 5

I can relate to how you feel. I grew up in an abusive home. My step dad died a slow painful death. It was hard to see the man who scared and hurt me look frail and scared himself. Its been 5 years ago and my mom still can't let him go. I know where your coming from. Just give your mom time. Focus on your poetry it will keep you strong. You can give others strength from it who need help, just like you. Don't talk of death I know life can get rough but I promise you that is what will make you a good strong person. Never give up OK! Your mom will come around so just give each other space.

Answer 6

Try to stay calm and be the one to keep peace- do what she tells you and maybe try to help out around the house some. Then she might cool off a little if she sees that you don't want it to be like this. You could try to plan stuff with your friends more often to get your mind off of it, and keep writing poetry. Writing always helps me express my feelings when there's nobody out there who seems to care. Whatever you do, don't take your own life- there is someone who loves you no matter what happens- Jesus Christ!

God Bless

Answer 7

You and your mom are both dealing with having gone through years of physical and mental abuse. Your mom is still shell-shocked. She doesn't know how she feels, so isn't really capable of trying to reach out to you. She needs professional help.

You also need help. Please go talk to the guidance counselors at your school and tell them what you have related here. They have means of tapping into the system and getting help for you and your mom.

If you end your life now, you will probably have to go through the same thing all over again in your next life. You have to take steps to heal yourself.

Answer 8

You need to sit down with your mom and have a conversation with her about your feelings (stay calm though). Tell her how it makes you feel when she yells at you and that you want to have a good relationship with her, but you feel as if you don't understand eachother.
Also, you do not need to be planning to commit suicide. Suicide is not an "easy way out" or a "quick fix" and it effects more than just yourself. Imagine how your family, friends, and anyone else who knows you would feel if you did that to yourself. Suicide is not the answer and you need to talk to someone about that.

Answer 9

Don't plan your own death. Be yourself and don't listen or even talk to her. She doesn't seem like a good parent at all. Do not be mad at her but hold it against her for not even trying to understand you. You are only 15 and you have a lot to look forward to. Killing yourself will only put happiness and/or stress on her heart and then you will be miserable in heaven.

Answer 10

life has more to offer. like you said, your just fifteeen. have patience and it'll all pay off. i know you've been though a lot already, which shows that your a strong minded person. so give yourself some prop and try to enjoy life. soon school will be over and you'll be at the age where you can make your own decision. and i'm sure after you over come this experience your going to be a successful woman.