keep giving him advice even though my hubby is ticked that he hasn't confided in him? I think it's great that he has found someone to confide in I never expected it to be me but atleast it's one of us should I help him out or tell him to talk to his brother instead of me?
2007-10-22 05:57:56 · 9 answers · asked by cutiepie81289 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you are the only one he feels comfortable talking to, then you and your husband should both respect that. It might be easier for him to talk to a woman rather than a man, or to someone who doesn't have as long and intimate a history with him - he may feel that you can provide a caring yet unbiased view.
Try to soothe your husband, and encourage the brother-in-law to trust other family members as well, but there's no need to limit his trust in you.
2007-10-22 06:04:03 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband isn't comfortable then I'd say stay away. If this brother of his has issues that's his problem and not for you to sort out.
Maybe your hubby doesn't trust his weirdo brother around his wife or maybe he's a little insecure....I don't know but if you're happy with your marriage, don't sacrifice it for the black sheep. It's not worth it.
I'm not suggesting that your husband can push you around, bully you or pick your friends, but on this occasion, because it's his brother, I really think you should respect his wishes. There's a time to fight and a time to back down in every relationship and this is a time to back down.
2007-10-22 13:09:06 · answer #2 · answered by Nic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband want you to stop communicating with his brother? If he's just ticked that his brother isn't communicating with him then that's one thing but if he wants you to discontinue dialog with his brother then that's another. If it's the latter you need to ask yourself which relationship you want to nurture. If it's your husband then tell your brother-in-law that you care about him but his brother (your husband) is better suited to his confidences. Don't go into how your husband is angry or whatever, that will just open a whole new can or worms you are better to stay out of. If you would prefer to nurture the relationship with your brother-in-law and defy your husband then I think you have some marital issues that go beyond your brother-in-law confiding in you and you should be spending your energy exploring what's going on before beginning any kind of relationship with a new man.
2007-10-22 13:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by dontdoubtit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cutiepie obviously he feels safe talking with you. Continue to be a confident for him as he may over time become more willing to share with others but must be allowed to do so at his own pace. Being the black sheep isn't an easy handle to live with regardless of how much one may laugh at it. Also you can suggest that you may not have the answer that he needs and will ask your husband his opinion and get back to him. Also you could ask if he minded if you invited his brother to sit in with you two, but he may not want this immediately. Providing he is being 100% with you and does not have any secret agenda to try and take advantage of you or anything that I believe you should continue to be his comfort and safety zone. Best of luck.
2007-10-22 13:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you want to help out your brother-in-law, but his problems shouldn't be your problems. Yes, its great that he is confiding with you, but sometimes you're going to have to put your foot down, because your brother-in-law should come to his senses about the issues that he's dealing with his brother. Don't place yourself in the middle and this will create a lot of conflict AND drama. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Encourage your brother-in-law to speak with his brother, so they can work things out between each other. Don't help him speak to his brother because the last thing you need to deal with right now is more drama. He needs to speak up for himself! Good luck!
2007-10-22 13:08:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your husband's feelings may be hurt, but I think it's fine for you to be your brother in law's confidant. You might explain to your husband that sometimes people need to talk to someone they don't know as well. Also, resist the temptation to tell your husband everything his brother says.
2007-10-22 13:05:29 · answer #6 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does he want? just advice and someone to listen, or something more?
just because he is your husband's brother, doesn't mean he has to feel comfortable about confiding in his brother. do what makes you most comfortable. and if you are not comfortable talking to him, tell him you'd rather he talked with your husband, or someone else.
sometimes a person needs someone to lean on -- don't take his problems on as personal ones, either. it's nice to be a friend and listen and offer support when we can.
2007-10-22 13:11:19 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep talking to him . . .maybe by talking to you he will eventually open up to his brother and the rest of the family . . .keep the lines of communication OPEN!!!
2007-10-22 13:31:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help him, just don't give him money!
2007-10-22 13:02:31 · answer #9 · answered by Tim S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋