What can I do about my mom not liking my boyfriend??? She liked him and was cool with him up until saturday. We went to homecoming, and got drunk, the police searched his car, then searched us. We got cited...and now ihave to go to court, i screwed up, and I know it...but now she doesnt approve of him. After this all happenned, he came to my house, and appologized, gave his number to my mom and asked her to please call him when everything cooled down. Besides the drinking fact, my boyfriend is a really good and respectful person, I just wish my mom would get over it. Im almost 18, and she somehow someway finds a way to put the guy i love down...any suggestions on how to get her to like him again????
2007-10-22 05:39:57 · 12 answers · asked by Des 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Here's the thing. As long as he's not a junkie/crackhead/alcoholic with a record that tries to kill you everyday, then it shouldn't matter. You're dating the guy, not your mother. If she doesn't approve then it's her loss.
2007-10-22 05:44:45 · answer #1 · answered by Pvt. Joker 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can't make her do anything. This is something time has to take care of. You both screwed up big time. He has to continue being respectful to her and show that this was a one time flub and you have to just ignore her comments. Don't rush to his defense and start a fight with her. Tell her calmly that you disagree with her statement and then leave it at that. The more you try to defend him and try to change her mind, the more stubborn she's going to get and the more she'll run him down. When she says something about him that isn't true, then tell her "that's not true." When she insists on going on about what a rotten guy he is, ask her "why do you say that". Remember, the key is to stay calm when talking to your mom, you want to show her that you are mature and a good judge of character.
She's disappointed in him and probably with herself for trusting him. She's worried that he's going to drink and drive and kill you both.
Now all that being said, if this wasn't a one time flub and this is a regular occurance, then maybe you need to listen to what she's saying and rethink being with this guy.
2007-10-22 12:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wise up. Almost 18 is not 18. Your mom has been around the block and is so much wiser than you. It's not even a question until you're 18, for now you just obey. Even after you turn 18 you should listen to your mom, she loves you more than any 18 year old boy.
2007-10-22 12:58:41 · answer #3 · answered by Rick H 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all being almost 18 doesn't make it okay to go out and get drunk and second if your guy really is a good guy then he will earn your mother's trust back over time. He will have to prove himself to her again. Think about it if you really liked and trusted someone and they suddenly screwed up and acted like someone you thought they weren't wouldn't you be leery to trust them again. Take it from experience moms have far more experience with these types of things and usually can pick out if a guy is decent enough for their child, if she doesn't start to trust or like your boyfriend again maybe you should reconsider who you're dating.
2007-10-22 12:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by letsgetmuddy33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're mom's just trying to look out for you. I wish I'd listened to peoples advice on the fact that my last boyfriend was a looser. our friends know us better than ourselves sometimes, and see right through the sweet kid/good kisser stuff to who they guy really is. If you're 18 and he got you into trouble by drinking, I think you should look at weather he's really good for you. Not to say he isn't great to hang out with, but it doesn't seam like he's seeing your best interests or protecting you... I don't think your mom will ever come around, but I do think that you can do better.
2007-10-22 12:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by merow42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make your mom do anything!!! You just have to think about what you would do in her shoes...if your 17 year old daughter was drinking and got caught!!! She's just worried about you and you have to respect that. If you really do care for this guy and he does you then eventually she'll see that and like him again!! It'll just take time!!! Good luck!! Oh yeah and I've been in your shoes a time a two!! It'll get better!!
2007-10-22 12:47:56 · answer #6 · answered by ambrosiasninja 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i know my mom never approved of the woman i married but things do change. it will take some time but trust me your mom will get over the whole thing and then she will start to trust him again. just do yourself a huge favor don't push the boy friend on your mom and she will come around faster. right now you and your boy friend just need to show your mom is was a one time thing and that you are mature and your boy friend is as well. then in due time she will get over it and like him again.
2007-10-22 12:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by king of kings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was very decent of him to face your mother and apologize, but hon, she's afraid for you to hang out with him, especially if he's a drinker. Time will tell. Talk to your mom and be positive. Tell her his good points. Maybe she'll change her mind.
Just be cautious. Drinking doesn't just cause trouble, it can cause a real tragedy.
2007-10-22 12:50:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant make someone like someone else. however, i would try not to mention him too much around your mom, and just let her get over her emotions. she's only mad right now because you and your boyfriend put your lives in danger. Besides, i hate to scold, but y'all shouldn't be drinking if you're under 18.
i do hope everything gets better, though. Good Luck!
2007-10-22 12:46:16 · answer #9 · answered by Golden Butterfly Goddess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my dear, please think your mom wants the best for you and mothers will do anything to protect their children.....because of what happened to you and your boyfriend, it has tainted your mother's trust over you and your boyfriend..you cannot blame her...for now, i guess lay low for a while, do as she says (even if sometimes it seems hard) and find means of earning back your mom's trust...don't rush, for trust is hard to earn...have faith in your mom and yourself and your boyfriend that things will go back the way they are sometime (hopefully soon)...you and your boyfriend work it out together.....please don't get mad at your mom, ok...remember she just loves you very much....
2007-10-22 12:51:00 · answer #10 · answered by ms cathy g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋