I raised my son to always question everything and never go along with the crowd. I wanted him to be an indivdual person. I think this might of worked a little too well. My oldest son has always been very independent. Never wanted anyones help to do anything. He never asked me questions on girls, how to shave, and when I took his training wheels off his bike he didnt let me show him how to ride it. He wanted to learn on his own. Then he goes off to college and Im not sure if this is a good thing or not. Most of my friends kids would constantly call them up and ask for money and help. Him on the other hand never asked for money once. Now I dont have much money to begin with but I would try to help him out by handing him 20$ here and there but he would always deny it. Now he is a senior in college and getting ready to enter the work place. I saw that he was looking at job aplications in Alaska, Montana, and Canada. This worries be because we are from Chicago.
2007-10-22 05:12:42 · 17 answers · asked by Mr. Martini 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He could be moving very far away. He wants to be a biologists and so I guess those are good places for an ecologists to work. I’m just worried I guess that I have taught him to be too independent. I’m proud of him but at the same time he worries me. I constantly get letters from congressman to our house. He got invited to some thing where you sit down and have lunch with your congressman. He’s only 21; I have never written letters or got invited to anything like this. I just hope that he’s not too political. Do you think that I did a good job in raising him?
2007-10-22 05:12:50 · update #1
You got what every parent wants for their child, he grew up and is looking at a great career and h is flying the coop! Even if he lives a million miles away he is still your son! No amount of distance can change that. My guess is, he is young, he doesnt know where he wants to live, he wants to see new places, and he is going to do it! Dont be upset that he is moving so far away, be proud because he has made it this far!
2007-10-22 06:55:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy to 1+triplets 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother raised us in a very different way, always giving us things and teaching us the value of family and hard work and she did not do much to push independence. However, my older brother turned out much like you are describing your son. He went from NY where we live to AZ for college, got married without finnancial assistance and he lives with his wife and doesn't call or check in much at all. I think it may be more about the person and less about the way you raised him. Just having a dad is so important that I'm sure it helped and didn't hurt that you encouraged independence. He'll start to communicate as he gets older, I'm sure.
2007-10-22 06:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by seeingidog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did a good job but it may not have been perfect. U may not have bonded with him that well. You can raise an independent child but can still be close.
I see so much bad peer pressure so if he does not do anything wrong, u succeeded but work on him now, invite him more often. Tell him that u want to talk to him and plan activities together. Ask him to try harder to find a job in Chicago. He seems like a good person, if u communicate with him, he will reciprocate.
2007-10-22 05:28:05 · answer #3 · answered by observer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can be a father, but few could be a dad! Your caring and concern for your child is natural and it shows the love you feel toward him. Love is the single most important thing a child needs and affirmation the second! I have 3 children and I want them all to be self-sufficient... I have 2 girls and I don't want them to depend on a man to survive but I don't want them too independent either. So I try to balance it, I show them my Independence and in my relationships my codependents and how it's not wrong to ask for help from time to time... It sounds like you did just right, Give him space for he is at that age and then reaffirm you are proud of him and that you would like to be their to assist him in anyway weather financially, advise or just to lend an ear...
2007-10-22 05:30:42 · answer #4 · answered by JEFFREY L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you did a fine job. My personality sounds similar to his. If being TOO independent poses a problem, hopefully he has enough social skills to adapt that. I know I did.
But besides being independent, he is completing college and finding jobs on his own. This seems like he's confident and competant. The way you describe him as a leader. Feel proud, I know I would! :)
2007-10-22 05:20:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had 3 in 3 years... lol, it grew to become into uncomplicated for me, yet won't be as uncomplicated for you.. December remains an prolonged way off.. dont borrow hassle.. i'm constructive you will do purely nice.. in line with probability start up on the potty education now.. sluggish and uncomplicated like.. positioned the potty chair in a nook the place ever your son is enjoying and make a interest out of it... I had my oldest potty knowledgeable and in a huge mattress by making use of the time he grew to become into 14 months previous.. my 2nd baby grew to become into approximately 18 months previous and my final baby grew to become right into a splash over 2 yrs.. soooooooo, dont trouble, despite if massive brother isn't potty knowledgeable it remains ok.... relax at the same time as ya can... and there is help accessible .. baby care classes and books and web pages at right here to offer you administration tips............ God bless
2016-10-07 09:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you raised a great son that didnt go through a lot of teenaged problems. Also sounds like you want him to lean on you a little more and you want to be more involved with his life. You should sit down with him and tell him this, he probably has no idea that you feel this way. He probably thinks you dont really care to be involved with his day to day life, I dont mean you dont care about him, I mean that he is so independant, that he is used to doing things on his own. Sit down and tell him how you feel.
2007-10-22 05:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by screw the rules 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did a fantastic job raising your son! He's bright, independent, self sufficient and adventurous. Do you know how many parents whose kids have dropped out of school, don't work and live at home envy you? You raised your son the same way my parents raised my sisters and me. We're grateful for that every day. Be proud of yourself!
2007-10-22 05:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by burghgirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he sounds great! What is the problem? Maybe he will run for office one day and change things for the better? So I hope he is independent plus has good morals.
Also, it was probably his nature already to be independent.
2007-10-22 05:16:45 · answer #9 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have taught him to stand on his own two feet and that is EXACTLY what he is doing dont analyse your parenting he sounds like a great young man if your worried about him not calling speak to him about it!
2007-10-22 05:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by sexiebum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋