I am getting married on the 31st. Yes Halloween. My family and friends have known about the date and time for a year. 2 days ago, my grandmother called me and chewed me out for poor planning because she doesnt see how 2 of my uncles can make it.(They work for her) I got the whole you should have chosen a different date/time etc..The ceremony isn't scheduled until 6 in the evening..I had 150 people to work around when i picked the date and time and that seemed the most workable to the majority. Am i right that she should have said something months ago???
2007-10-22 04:49:01 · 28 answers · asked by Geia 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Invitations were sent out in July, save the dates were sent last March
2007-10-22 04:55:38 · update #1
they would only need to leave work about 30 mins before the end of their shift. End of month is not an issue at that office. That much i know from personal experience.
2007-10-22 05:11:24 · update #2
Sure, they could have told you sooner.... but if they are not IN the wedding... and they knew the date/time, they could have planned better if they want to come.
I think that the saying "Poor planning on your part does NOT make an emergency on MY part" is appropriate here.
Sure, you'd like to have them there... but the reality is that not everyone is going to be able to attend, no matter what date/time you pick.
So say "Gee, that's unfortunate that they won't be able to come. I'll miss having them there." And then forget it. She has NO RIGHT to say a word about the date/time.
2007-10-22 04:56:15 · answer #1 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
The old "it's YOUR wedding, anything you say goes", is not applicable here. The fact that they knew well ahead of time is the point.
Knowing what time and day the wedding was, weeks or months in advance, saying nothing, then throwing a hissy fit about it 9 days to go, is silly.
A Wednesday at 6pm might be hard for some, impossible for some, and no problem for others. If some people can't make it, that is just how it goes. It is not some tragedy.
To be fair, we don't know what work your uncles do for your grandmother. It might be unrealistic to say she should just let them off work. If it is the type of business where the last day of the month is very hectic, it may be impossible. She may or may not have known this ahead of time, that is business. But yelling at you for the time of your wedding, that is unrealistic too, and not her place.
2007-10-22 05:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People will complain about anything/everything. I bet a Wednesday wedding is probably very affordable.
Maybe granny would have liked to chip in so you could get married on a different day of the week?
If I were you, I would tell them that they are all welcome to arrive after the ceremony portion of the festivities and give them an estimate of what time that will be so they aren't barging in.
My fiance & I live 3 hours drive from a majority of the family and they're already complaining that we aren't having the wedding in "their" state. I already decided that we had to do a saturday sit-down dinner because we know the guests will have to travel.
People are never happy.
2007-10-22 06:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they should have said something months ago-I think it should be a non issue. It's a half hour, for goodness sakes! What's the difference? And, there is no way on earth you could accomodate 150 different schedules to everyone's ideal liking. 6PM is a fine time...And maybe they'll have to miss the ceremony, but will be able to attend the celebration afterwards.
2007-10-22 05:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi and congratulations!
Don't worry about it....you can't please everyone! Grandma is being snippy.
We had a step-sister cancel on us for our son's wedding (5 people!) 3 days before the wedding because...."they had to move their camper out of the state park!" Hello.....that couldn't have been done another day!!!
Well, don't worry about it. As you said, save the dates went out long ago, as did the invitations. People just get really weird around weddings.....maybe it's the Halloween ghosts!!!
I hope you have a beautiful wedding!
2007-10-22 16:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She definitely needed to say somethign when the planning first began. I am sure she knew that you had started to plan and the date...if people can't make arrangements to be there, don't let them worry you about it. They've known for a very long time!
Have a great time. My friend got married on halloween and it was an awesome time!
2007-10-22 05:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Consider that grandma is old now and I'm betting that she has always found the one thing that is wrong with everything! Have a wonderful wedding...have you EVER seen a guy upset because he missed some part of a wedding ceremony? So long as they make the reception they will be happy. Ignore grandma!
2007-10-22 05:26:41 · answer #7 · answered by bevrossg 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You did everything right in my book. If grandma wont let your uncles off in time to attend, she is the one in the wrong not you. This is your wedding and is supposed to be about you and your mate. If grandma has a problem that is just to darn bad! You shouldnt have to clear everyones schedule to work around YOUR day! They should do it themselves, expecially since you sent more than one reminder of the date and time.
Dont let your grandma get to you. She certainly isnt thinking of you at all!
2007-10-22 04:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by KUJayhawksfan* 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not your job to work your wedding around other people's schedules. If your grandma is so worried about your uncles being able to show up then she needs to give them the time off! It's a family event, and if she can't shut down the office for one evening so everyone can celebrate, then that's her problem.
2007-10-22 05:56:14 · answer #9 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is your wedding. Obviously the date wasn't going to work for everyone, but iti worked for the majority. Don't let this simple thing impede on your happiness. Just use a good listening ear, smile, and nod... Someone was bound to complain as people often do. You are definitely not going to change the date now, so why worry? Congrats! :)
2007-10-22 04:57:16 · answer #10 · answered by bonstermonster20 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋