her he takes her out of state and all these places and I never know where she is and he won't tell me when he does this, is he allowed to do whatever he wants with her? He has even kept her out of school to go on vacation without letting me know.
2007-10-22 04:48:44 · 9 answers · asked by speclt1970 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would think that, if she is missing a lot of school, that wouldn't be a good thing. Perhaps you two could get together and talk about this missing school thing?
As far as her taking her out of state on trips, you DO have joint custody, and if it's during his visitation time, there isn't much you can do. I'm sure he loves her, and is looking out for her best interest.
You and the guy are living separate lives now, and whether you want to hear it or not, he can do whatever he wants. Like i said, hon, i'm sure you BOTH love your daughter.
Does your ex guy know every move you and your daughter make when you have her?
I'm just trying to help you to see that he has the right to go out of town with her if he wants... and to visit whomever he likes.
take care of You while she's visiting with her dad.. pamper yourself, and please don't make yourself sick with anxiety over what he does.
2007-10-22 05:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was him not being allowed to take her out of state without notification in the child custody agreement? If he is keeping her out of school a lot, I would contact the lawyer who helped with the custody agreement and see what you can do about it. Your daughter needs to be getting an education, not vacationing every month.
There are usually rules about taking a child out of state/out of the country and notifying the other parent so you need to check on that with your lawyer. If you talk to her father about it and he says something like "you can't tell me what to do" then tell him you checked with your lawyer and he is violating the parental rights as stated in the custody agreement and he can lose his joint custody if he doesn't follow the rules.
2007-10-22 11:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by Madison 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you call and let him know everything you do with her? I'm sure you don't, so why are you setting higher expectations for him.
He's obviously bringing her home, he's not kidnapped her or taken off with her. He's being a great dad and you are complaining about that. No wonder so many great dads end up out of their kids lives. They have to deal with ex's who nag and complain at everything they do with their child.
Don't be that woman. He is having fun with her and doing things with her. There is more to this than just him taking her places. Are you jealous? Does it bug you he can do more with her than you can? What is the root reason for why this bothers you so much?
Encourage him and your child to spend time together. He's her father so yes, he can and should be able to take her where he wants without having to give you an itinerary and letting you know every detail. That is there time together, don't interfer, encourage.
2007-10-22 13:10:44 · answer #3 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have grounds to take him back to court, if you are willing to pay the attorney's fees and go the nasty route. Keep in mind that if he reacts negatively to your action, he may try to dig up dirt on you or counter sue for full custody.
A better solution would be to get him to be more forthcoming with you, discuss details, and work out boundaries for co-parenting. (This is something the judge might very well order you to do anyway if you take the father to court.) Chances are if you were getting along with him well enough to make this work, you wouldn't be having the problems you are now anyway.
It's a tough call. You will need some hard evidence if/when you decide to take him to court over it. Document every breach of the divorce decree custody provisions by journaling them with specific dates, times, details, backed up with any documentation you can provide (such as absentee records from the school). Get a GPS watch, phone, shoes, or something for your daughter to wear/carry but don't tell her dad she has it and you can use it to track her whereabouts. If the breaches are severe enough to indicate abuse or neglect on his part, you might be able to enlist support to report him to CPS. (A teacher or other 3rd party will be taken more seriously than you.)
I know all this stuff costs $$ and may actually make the situation worse if the dad decides to retaliate (especially if he has more resources than you).
I can relate--I have been through similar circumstances with my kids and ex. You may just have to turn to your faith and trust God to take care of your daughter when you are not right there with her--I've had to say prayers like that not only about ex, but about school field trips, etc. as the kids get older and do more things without me.
2007-10-22 12:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have to be a team in the rearing of your child whether together or not. If you do not have a written agreement on child custody I strongly suggest you do one. If you do have a written agreement contact the court or your attorney for advise.
It sounds like communication definitely needs to improve between you and the father of your child and the game playing needs to stop. This is for your child's sake.
Good luck.
2007-10-22 11:57:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he can do that, but you should contact a lawyer to review your custody papers. That sort of thing should be stated there.
2007-10-22 12:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by Karin H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, he can't. Go back to family court and let the judge know what he is doing. Talk to your lawyer.
2007-10-22 11:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Joint custody is joint custody. when you have her do you tell him everything you are doing?
It sucks..but, you agreed to joint custody.
2007-10-22 12:02:06 · answer #8 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do the same.
2007-10-22 11:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋