How can we overcome the hurt and open our hearts again after we have been deceived? How long does it take to heal?
We may justify our wounds, sit in the corner and lick them, but when do we emerge again and let someone else in? Does this take a leap of faith?
Can we trust others?
2007-10-22 04:36:57 · 10 answers · asked by NRPeace 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's hard to trust others when someone deceives us. We feel raw and wounded and to trust again sometimes feels too vulnerable. But we have to remind ourselves that not every person is a liar and many are worthy of our trust. We also have to remember that if we are deceived again by the next person, that we made it through the last time and learned valuable lessons. Then in the future we can apply those things learned with a healthy amount of trust.
2007-10-22 04:52:58 · answer #1 · answered by MOL 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Not everyone is tarred with the same brush. Some will deceive. Some can be trusted. Learning to recognise who is one of the hardest lessons in life because when someone you had trusted deceives you, the wound does take a long time to heal.
Yes, you can still trust others but I would find it very hard to ever trust someone who has hurt or deceived me again ... once bitten, as they say, twice shy!
Do however let someone else in. Don't let memories of the past prevent you from taking up possible new, better opportunities in the future.
Pollyanna
2007-10-22 05:50:18 · answer #2 · answered by pollyanna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not a question of trusting (or distrusting) others.
We lose trust in ourself actually, after we are deceived!
We lose trust in our understanding of others!!
In our judgement of others!!!
So, the wound gets healed as soon as we look at it this way.
Because then you realise that nobody has hurt or betrayed you actually.
Only you didn't perform well in the a certain area of the relationship.
And then you realise that you can't improve you performance and correct your mistakes unless and until you let someone else in again!
And then you get up, shake your dirt off and go out with a renewed interest and motivation in your life!!
And that is called the Leap of Faith!!!
2007-10-22 19:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by Kapil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Losing trust will not rectify the situation. It takes time to heal. Forgiveness is the key to healing. If you can forgive, then you can move on and begin to heal. If you continue to dwell on it, you can drive yourself crazy, and it will make it that much harder to overcome. You can be cautious and slow to trust a new person and not jump right into it, but at some point you will have to take that leap, and give yourself the opportunity to find happiness. You can't trust everyone. Some are out to hurt you, period. But there are so many good people out there that would be a great addition to your life.
2007-10-22 04:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As salaamu 'alaikym, my friend.
Insha'Allah, virutally all persons, at one time or antoher have betrayed the trust put in and on them by another or a group of others. Have we stopped trusting ourselves?
Insha'Allah, most often, when we judge others, the very judgments that we make are more a true reflection of ourselves, our pesonal weaknesses, flaws and failings than of the person or persons whom we think we are judging.
Inhsa'Allah, before we decide that we are wise enough to judge another, we would do best to recall the teachings of the Prophet Essa (salaahu 'alaihi wasallaam) to remove the log in our own eye before we try to remove the splinter from the eye of our brother.
Insha'Allah, how do we learn to trust again? Perhaps the first step is to be honest with and about ourselves and then to treat others as we would like to be treated.
Insha'Allah, the Prophet Muhammad (sallaahu 'alaihi wasallaam), gave us a wonderful lived example of how to treat those who abuse us, hate us, persecute us because of our beliefs and who betray our trust. He forgave them and clearly demonstrated his love for them in words and deeds.
Insha'Allah, for those who have belief in God (whether as YHWH, Trinity Father/Son/Holy Spirit or Allah, Subhanna wa Ta'ala) or any religious belief or personal philosophy that teaches us to veiw others as sacred and also as extensions of ourselves, it would seem best for us to live as we have been taught by the same to live rather than to deny to others the very blessings we ourselves hope for.
Insha'Allah, we have been taught by the Prophet Muhammad (saw) to greet everyone with, " As salaamu 'alaikym" which might be translated as "Peace be uopn you". Let us not only greet everyone with that blessing and hope but let us each live out that gift to one another.
Alhumdulillah!
Ma'a salaam.
2007-10-22 05:16:39 · answer #5 · answered by Big Bill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't punish others for the actions of one person. The person that violates my trust may get it back over a long period of time or if it is bad enough, may never get it back. The person who has not will retain my trust.
2007-10-22 04:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by genaddt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i wish i did, but i do not have all of the answers to this one. i still suffer from major trust issues from a relationship of 10yrs ago....i gave it my all and was deceived...
Now, at times it appears that i am so biased, that i cannot seem to take a chance of getting hurt like that again.
i hope you find what it is you seek, and i send blessings and healing thoughts your way.
bb
)o(
trinity
2007-10-22 04:42:30 · answer #7 · answered by trinity 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We remind ourselves -- a million times a day if necessary -- that the person who hurt us was only one person. There are many people in the world who are NOT that person, who will ask us to trust them later, and we should.
2007-10-22 04:40:57 · answer #8 · answered by Acorn 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Depends how close they were. You learn from it and move on. Now you know what to look for so you won't fall for the same lies again. But don't close your heart to others. It will only make you lonely.
2007-10-22 04:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i have the same question tooo
2007-10-22 04:45:26 · answer #10 · answered by wht is diz (BOYCOTT ISRAEL) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋