is it my places or not?

Question

my brother and i are very close hes is 16 and im 19...i don't live at home any more by choise but my brother and i still talk almost every day...he has been dating his girl for alittle over 3 months when i asked if they had sex yet he said no but did everything else and he promised to tell me if they had sex
after we talked about it for a while...i told him to be safe etc etc

but my moms new thing is to bug me and him about his sex life ( she never did that to me when i was his age)
she keeps asking me if i know anything what are they doing etc...how do i tell her to butt out i don't want to rat out my brother cuz he really isn't doing anything wrong and he would never rat me out

i know he really loves this girl that is why im ok w/ it and i did lose mine at 16 too

he also said she is very against sex b4 marriage unless its w/ the right guy...so i don't think they will do anything any time soon

Answer 1

As a big sister it's our duty to trust our brothers. Cut him some slack and tell your mom that if anything comes up, you'll tell her. And just tell her that you'll keep an eye on your bro just to calm her down.

The best thing is to just trust him that he won't do anything stupid. Mother's alway worry too much..

Answer 2

Tell your mother that she needs to ask your brother if she wants to know something about his life. Don't ever break a confidence unless you believe he is in harms way.

Talk to your brother again. I don't care if you lost "yours" at that age. Apparently you don't have a father present, and a guy is different than a girl. The first thing you need to make clear to him is that "no" means "no" and if his g/f wants to be a virgin until marriage, he needs to respect that and NOT put her into situations where the lines are crossed and she's confused. You do not want your brother to be accused of rape if he goes confusing messages from her and goes ahead. The other thing you need to talk to him about is protecting himself. If a man(if he's sexual then he needs to be acting like a man not a boy), really cares about someone other than himself, he makes sure he is using birth control every single time. He doesn't assume that's the girls job, its his and you need to be clear about him supporting a child for the rest of his life if he makes one slip. It happens all the time and men are suprised to find that the courts don't care if it was one time. He also needs to protect himself against disease. Genital warts caused by HPV will follow him for the rest of his life and make any partner he has have an increase risk of cervical cancer for their ENTIRE life. That means someone can lose their uterus and possibly their life before they ever really get a chance to decide if they want children, and no one needs to die of AIDS or cancer especially in their teens and 20's.

Since you have taken on the role of confidant, you also need to take on the role of protector and educator. Help your brother not make the mistakes alot of young men do. And thanks for being a good example of a big sister, you're doing a good job!

Answer 3

Tell her you don't know anything about it, the subject never came up and you respect your brother's privacy enough to not ask him about it.

Answer 4

dont rat you brother out just tell your mom to ask him not you.

Answer 5

Tell your mother that those are personal issues and if she really wants to know and wants to continue to have her son's she needs to ask him, but not badger him.