Whats a polite way of NOT inviting people to your wedding?

Question

We're having over 150 people but me and my future husband each have very big families and lots of friends so a lot of people will be left out. I've been getting lots of questions from people I don't intend inviting about when they're getting their invitations and don't quite know how to tell them that they're not.

Answer 1

You simply tell them as much as you would like them there....you are on a budget and there is only so much room as you both have families to accomodate for it.You can volunteer to send them a small picture if they want.Ask yourself one thing though....have these "friends" been part of your life on a regular basis or has your freindship just been a casual pass-on-the-street kind? If you aren't that close then they shouldn't be offended by not going.

Answer 2

I agree with Vle. You should send out your "first round" on invites ASAP. Whoever does not reply as attending leaves room for 1 more person to attend. And that will be those who are really wanting to come.

If those asking are distant coworkers, your 5th cousin twice removed, etc. then yes, it is perfectly alright to say that your wedding is a "small intimate affair for immediate family".

But if you are refusing your friends and family who want to come, you are making a mistake. Trust me. A wedding is huge deal, a life changing event. Those close to you want to share in the excitement for that once in a lifetime day.

You need to take a good hard look at your wedding. Can you have a lunch/brunch reception instead of a dinner meal to cut costs? Can you scrap the favors, which most people don't even take home (bake extra cookies instead for pennies)? Can you serve only wine and beer, or have a dry wedding in the afternoon?

Some people invite certain guests only to their reception OR in your case, ceremony. While I personally do not suggest that, it is an option. It can't really be any worse than not inviting them to anything at all.

Good luck!

Answer 3

If I were you, I'd make sure to get those people on this invite list and cross off people that might not even come. I mean, they are SHOWING you that they intend to come and that they care and are happy for you.

From a guest point of view, I'd probably have to re-evaluate my friendship with you if I knew I wasn't in your top 150 people. I'd think that perhaps our friendship wasn't as tight as I thought. And I wouldn't send a gift.

And when you are working on that guest list, remember that not everyone will be able to come. So if you invite a few more people than your budget allows, you may end up right on target.

Answer 4

you would be able to desire to set a definite age cut back - i.e. no infants under 18 or under 12, etc. do now not chop up families up (so if a pair has somewhat guy or woman who's 13 and man or woman who's 11, enable the two between the youngsters come). you in addition to would can cut back infants to family members merely, wedding ceremony rite social amassing merely, etc. it is going to likely be stressful to tell some travelers to flow away their infants at abode whilst telling others to place across them. you will desire to have a clean cut back-off element so as that travelers do not journey slighted (Like have an age cut back-off, family members cut back-off, or a marriage rite social amassing cut back-off). the only nicely mannered by way of objective that's in many circumstances to unfold or not that's typical with mouth. you will desire to now not located something on the invites that publicizes man or woman merely Reception. additionally, for those human beings whose infants are literally not invited, make the invites out to the specific human beings as a metamorphosis of the family members. working occasion: Mrs. and Mr. John Smith as a metamorphosis of The Smith family members.

Answer 5

Well I think it is rather presumptious to expect an invitation to someone's wedding.

But, your reality is that people are asking because they do want to share this exciting day with you. I think you have 2 options:

Option A: Rebudget your wedding that will allow you to include additional guests. Downsize your flowers, limo, photography/video package, consider just serving beer/wine as opposed to a full open bar, do your own hair & make-up if you can, possibly rebudget some of your honeymoon if that is possible. If you haven't chosen a date yet, you might consider a Sunday afternoon instead of a Saturday night. A Sunday luncheon wedding saved us $30 per person!! ($95 for a Sat. night vs. $65 for a Sun. noon)

Or, option B: Be honest. Tell these assuming people that you are unable to accommodate a larger wedding than you already have due to a big family on both sides.

Good luck to you :-)

Answer 6

Tell them "oh I wish I could invite you, but the number is limited and we both have large families. My list is nearly full just with my cousins!"
Remember that it's rude to discuss your plans in front of people you don't intend to invite. Just like if you were having a birthday party in fifth grade.

Answer 7

Just tell them how sorry you are about not being able to invite everyone because there are way to many people you both know. It's your special day and the people that ARE the most special to you should be there. Your going to hurt feelings no matter what you say so just be as honest and short with your explanation as possible. Good Luck!

Answer 8

The best way to handle a situation in which someone who assumed would be invited to the wedding comes up to you and asks where their invitation is, tell them your budget simply wouldn't allow over 150 people. If they get upset about it, that's their problem.

Answer 9

You can say "Oh, it's going to be a very small wedding- mostly just family- We're hoping to plan a larger celebration later on"

The phrase "very small wedding", in Etiquetteese, does not have anything to do with how many ARE invited, but rather how many are NOT.

Answer 10

Just tell them you'd love to be able to include them, but your families are so big that you are only able to invite a few friends each.