The boy is now 24, the girl 22, great kids. I was a somewhat strict parent and both have some resentments, though never got in an serious trouble. But last week I got to know that in 2000 my girl got involved w/ a bad crowed, drank and joined them in grafiting a wall and breaking a window. When she realized what she had done she asked my boy help. They got along, he had some money, they paid for the damages and nothing happened. They didn't tell us. As soon I as I got to know, I talked to my son, I was mad and disappointed. He just said he decided no tell us, because he was sure that was just a moment of insanity her sister went through and she regretted. In fact she never mesed up again and he thinks it was a very mature decision. In his opinion, igf I had known, I'd be harsh, wouldn't trust the girl, she's kinda sensitive and would suffer for nothing. He's sure that would have destroyed our relationship forever. Im mad, I feel betrayed, but my son is sure he did the best thing.
2007-10-22 03:25:11 · 10 answers · asked by Edson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He emphasized she's a great young adult and, in that case, our parental intervention would only create serious emotional problems.
2007-10-22 03:26:56 · update #1
If that's the worst they did that you never found out about (until now), you're lucky. Get over it.
2007-10-22 03:34:49 · answer #1 · answered by MJ3000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Edison I have to agree with your son's decision 100%. You are very fortunate to have such a close family as there are many I know that wouldn't have helped their siblings at all. Be grateful for the help he gave your daughter and realize it was indeed a childhood prank, nothing more. You are also lucky that your kids are good and not getting into trouble constantly, I work with young offenders and see daily what happens when kids have no self control. There is nothing wrong with being strict but the odd time it is always nice to let them know how proud you are of them also. Best of luck and don't fret over this event 7 years ago. They are both young adults now and sounds like they are good kids.
2007-10-22 03:32:37 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happened seven years ago. Let it go. At least you know that your kids did the responsible thing and paid the damages. Your just mad because they didn't tell you about it. If you get mad and start giving them hard time about it now, you will be reinforcing the reasons they didn't tell you about it in the first place. Don't make them suffer now for something that happened so long ago. All kids do things that they regret. Save your relationship with your adult children and just let it go.
2016-05-24 03:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, you raised your kids to know right from wrong, didn't you? She realized she screwed up. She went to her brother and between them they properly took care of the situation. Both knew you'd probably go ballistic if they went to you for help and most likely you would have made the situation worse. All kids grow up with some resentment over things their parents either did or didn't do. You need to drop this now - they didn't ignore the situation, they did the right thing. Be thankful for that - they did the right thing.
2007-10-22 03:44:29 · answer #4 · answered by Lady G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be mad all is well! Siblings if they are close look out for one another and have eachother. It's over and done with and is in the past... Now is the time to lighten up let them be who they are and experience life before they are too old and can't - don't take their lessons away from them b/c if you do they will have a harder time in life....Just let them know you are there no matter what and that you will always love them you also need to let them know that everyone makes mistakes and that it is o.k. to as long as you learn fromt hem the first time!!!! Be loving, understanding, supportive and fun life is too short.
2007-10-22 03:32:44 · answer #5 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should not be mad because it happend a long time ago and they are adults now so jumping on them wont do anything but cause problems so i say let it go even the kids with strict parents make bad mistakes and it sounds like thats what happend a mistake and now everything seems fine let go of the past and look to the future
2007-10-22 03:51:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to side with your son on this one. You've said they're both great kids. This is something that happened 7 years ago. Nothing bad came out of it. They both took on responsibility that a lot of kids wouldn't have done. You should be proud of them both for the maturity they showed. Let it go.
2007-10-22 03:42:15 · answer #7 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot go back. Your children are adults, exactly what are you going to do, send her to her room? I have a rule with my daughters, don't tell me what you don't want me to get involved in, because once I know, I have to get involved. Praise your son for knowing how badly you would have handled this and doing the job for you.
You sound like you are having issues of control which alot of moms do when their kids get to this age. What you need to understand is that your daughter can choose to have you in her life, that means her personal life including her successes, failures, relationships, marriage and children. You have to decide what's more important to you. This stupid childish behavior that is way over and done with, or your future relationship with your adult daughter. I hate to break it to you, but she doesn't need you. Any relationship you have with her going forward is because she wants to. She loves you enough to want to include you in her life. If you are a smart woman, you will get over something you have no control over, and move forward. Don't be a fool, it sounds like you raised two really great kids. Respect that.
2007-10-22 03:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its over with and you need to leave the past in the past. she is a good kid and you say that over and over again so why bring it up. The kids were mature enough 7 years ago to handle the situation on there own and make right of it by paying for the damages. Move on with your life.
2007-10-22 03:32:43 · answer #9 · answered by louie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Great Perfect One, take a chill pill and relax. You keep riding their *** over something like that and you'll lose your kids.
2007-10-22 03:30:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋