my sisters kid and the pacifier looks crazy?

Question

My sister's daughter who will be 4 in may is so attached to her pacifier, it's pathetic...anybody else have kids like this ? My daughter who is 9 yrs old and my son who is 20 months old got the pacifier taken away at 3 months when the desire for sucking is not needed. Why do parents do this to their kids with pacifiers into toddlerhood. they look absouletely ridiciolious walking aorund with a binky

Answer 1

Funny that you asked this. My husband and I were watching Dr. 90210 last night (we taped it) and the family had gone camping. After a rattlesnake incident, they decided to go back home. Both of the kids, one probably close to your neice, had pacifiers in their mouth! I couldn't believe it. My son did use one, but I absolutely refused to give my daughter one. She actually didn't need one. From the day she was born, she sucked her thumb, but just stopped automatically one day. If the kids are using the pacifier as security, then the parents need to give them something else, like a blanket.

Answer 2

My son was continually throwing his down and losing them (before the little clippy attachment things were invented), so I told him when he was a bit past 1 year that I wasn't going to buy any more and when he threw the last one, that was the end of pacifiers. He didn't make it a week after that, and I kept my word, and though he cried for it a bit, we managed to get through it.

My daughter was another story completely. She wouldn't take a pacifier, or a bottle for that matter. Even after consulting La Leche League and buying every nipple shape known to man, she wouldn't do anything except breasfeed. At about 5-6 mos. she discovered her thumb, and I was so relieved at that point that I didn't discourage the habit as I probably should have. She continued to suck her thumb until she was way too old, no matter what I did to try and stop her--a thumb is much harder to take away than a pacifier! Finally, we went to an orthodontist and had him install a dental appliance to take the fun out of thumb-sucking and to stop the alignment damage she was doing to her bite. Best $600 I ever spent, not only did it stop her habit, it straightened her teeth and kept her from needing a full set of braces (at $4-5 K) she would almost certainly have needed later!

That doesn't directly answer your question, but I did hear of a cute idea that just might work for your niece. Invent something like a "tooth fairy" called the "binky fairy" that comes to get pacifiers from big kids who have outgrown them and leaves a treat under the pillow or something. Tell her the binkies go to new little babies that need them. Make a big deal about her being a big girl and not needing the binky any more. You could even talk about how once a child has teeth, the pacifiers will mess her teeth up and she will not have a pretty smile anymore if she keeps sucking on the binky. She should be plenty old enough to reason with and use incentives to break this habit.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Crazy Pacifiers

Answer 4

People not telling you what you want to hear doesn't equate to them jumping all over you. Some people judge people who give their babies dummies (pacifiers) at all. I once had a couple moan at me on a bus about the fact that my son had one when he was still a little baby. What would you say to them? Everybody has a different idea of what is right and what isn't, so what makes your opinion the correct one? I think you'll be hard pressed to find someone who actually intended for their child to have a dummy or bottle until the age of 4. Most people like you had a cut off point and passed it for whatever reason. My cut off was going to be 1, then 18 months, then 2. My son is coming up to 2, and with all the other issues I have going on with him at the moment I just know it's not going to have happened by then, I have bigger problems to deal with with him right now. My point is that it's very easy for you, a mother of a 7 month old, to say what you will do. But you have no idea what situations these people have going on behind closed doors, nor do you have any idea what issues you will have with your daughter later down the line. Perhaps you should wait until you've passed that point and experienced what dealing with a difficult older child is like before casting judgements on how other people live their lives. Oh and I'm sorry, but calling something dopey, stupid, and deciding for other people that they should only let their children have these things in bed because that's YOUR opinion, IS casting judgement. How is that not a judgement? Just because you're two-faced and say it behind their backs rather than to their faces doesn't change what you're saying.

Answer 5

Judgmental much? My child has SPD and is mildly on the spectrum and still uses a pacifier. She will be 5 years old soon! It's not harming her and it helps her stay calm and centered when her environment feels very scary and confusing for her. We are working with a team of professionals (occupational therapist, doctor, speech pathologist, therapist, etc) to help her in general and giving up the paci is a goal. However, I have a nice finger in the center of my hand for anyone who judges her or me until she is able to do so. Without it, she exhibits issues similar to ADHD symptoms, she is scattered and hyperactive and unable to focus or be still, and often reacts to every day things with a true fight or flight response. Without it, her anxiety is through the roof. So before you judge someone else's unique child who is not a carbon copy of yours, check yourself. Every kid has different needs, strengths, and weaknesses.

Answer 6

my pediatrician and pediatric dentist both agree (and articles/research I have done) that taking a paci before the child is ready will do more harm. It is usually a good idea to start slowly weaning but that is up to the parent. It will not hurt her teeth till her permanent teeth come in. Her teeth may (or may not) protrude ever so slightly but that is not permanent and wont affect the permanent teeth. Some kids do really carry this sucking NEED for well into the preschool years. A time will come when she will not want or be embarrassed to take the pacifier. In the meantime, you should be ashamed of yourself for saying your wonderful niece looks ridiculous. which is really not your business anyway.

and yes, my daughter will be 4 in a few months and takes the paci at night & occaisionally during the day. I know what my daughter needs. I have done my research. I am weaning but wont take this away from her till she is ready. I also do not care who may think its pathetic. people will always have something to say about something so why should I care?

Why do people stress over a silly binky?

Answer 7

If she is attached she obviously needs it. it is a sucking need, a reflex, some kids have it and some don't. its just comforting her and wont do any harm till she starts getting her permanent teeth. If you just take away that soothing mechanism she will probably just pick up another habit, maybe biting her nails, or sucking her thumb or even pulling her own hair, these habits last years and years. she will give up the pacy when she is ready. You dont compare kids. your child may have not had that need but hers does. so what!?
Pacifiers are recommended till age one b/c they reduce the risk of SIDS

How horrible of an Aunt are you to talk about your precious niece like that? Mind your own business.

Answer 8

WHY is it any of your business? Butt out of your sister's affairs. Oh and by the way, babies should have pacifiers until 6 mos to protect against SIDS. After that it's up to the PARENT, not the aunt. Nice calling a 4 year old pathetic...and parents who say "my kid would never" raise bullies.

Answer 9

It's not good for the teeth. And, the kid obviously has some serious attachement issues, so I'd guess a little separation anxiety is involved. Same thing with blankies, and teddy bears, and whatever. The kid is missing something and compensates with the pacifier.

Answer 10

I've got a 3 year old with a binky, and an almost 7 year old who uses one at home.

You're wrong for saying any kid looks pathetic for doing anything. A binky attachment could be for numerous reasons. Mine both have sensory issues, and will chew or suck on their clothes, so I leave the binky alone. Other kids may not have much consistancy, or, sad to say, love or praise, so their binky is a source of consistancy and comfort. You have no idea what is going on in this kid's, or any kid's head, and why they use the binky.

I'm sure your kids did or do something that others don't agree with. You're the type of person who would give me and my autistic children dirty looks because one or both of them is throwing a tantrum in *gasp* public. You would spend the rest of the day assuming my children are a product of bad parenting, or that they needed a good spank, and you would assure yourself that you will never have children act like that with you. You would probably call a few people to tell them about the brats you saw rolling around on the floor and the pathetic mother who did nothing to control them. You spend your days assuming all kinds of things about other people, and here you have stooped so low as to say your own niece looks pathetic. Get over yourself.