My guy friend invited me to his house party. My ex boyfriend, also my best friend, warned me not to go, but I did anyway because all my friends were going. Being drunk, I hooked up with a guy there, but not anything serious like sex. If drunk can't be a good reason, I don't know any other reason to why I did it, because I was on the verge of getting back together with my ex. He told me not to go because he was worried I would get drunk and do things, but I reassured him I wouldn't, and yet I did. Before this incident, we've been so close, hanging out at each other's houses, and now he won't even speak to me. When he sees me, he turns and walks away. I've sent him e-mails apologizing for reassuring something I couldn't do, but there has been no response. I don't know what to do. It's been a while and nothing has changed.
There's so much more to it, I can't explain everything here, but if anyone has a lot of time on their hands, please help me through e-mail. Thanks!
luv. Mel.
2007-10-22 03:09:12 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The guy is hurt. He knew what was going to happen and tried to prevent it. I am sure he was absolutely devastated when he found out. This is why he hasn't responded or talked to you. He doesn't know what to do.
Realizing what you did to hurt him is a start. It sounds like you were very close and I am sure that if he did what you did, you would be hurt too. You need to give him a reason to talk to you again. (prove that you care about him somehow).
2007-10-22 03:16:51 · answer #1 · answered by Stuey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your only young enjoy yourself. Why was he your ex in the first place if he is so great. What business would an ex even have telling you where you can and can't go. You can kiss who you want, he is not your boyfriend. If he really cared about you, you wouldn't have been ex's in the first place. You say you were on the verge of getting back together but you don' t know that he could have been stringing you along and not allowing you to go anywhere but still not committing to you. As I said you are only young once. Enjoy!
2007-10-22 10:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by nik 28 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your ex-bf is treating you exactly has he should.
Even in the face of his warning you have demonstrated such bad judgment that it isn't even a case where you should get another chance.
You did exactly what you said you would not do and that he warned you about. Does that spell 'trustworthy" to you? Any number of apologies after the fact doesn't change your clear demonstration of your nature.
The only solution is for you to set higher standards FOR YOURSELF. If you don't have the self-respect to meet them then there is no reason to believe that anyone else should.
2007-10-22 10:13:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wanted to get back together with you and assumed you wanted the same thing. You can't use alcohol as an excuse; stop drinking or go to AA and get help. Your ex knew what would happen if you drank, he told you about it, you must have known what would happen if you drank. As hard as it is to accept, you brought this upon yourself. Give your ex time to deal with the situation. You broke his trust in you, and that is not easily repaired. You've done what you can do; it's up to him now.
2007-10-22 10:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is with him not you. You longer have commitments to each othere so why is he acting up this way? A friend will back you up efven if you made a mistake because you did not listen. Your ex is acting lke a big baby and should remain as such..an ex.. he wants to keep his distance ? Good, so should you..
2007-10-22 10:16:07 · answer #5 · answered by exsft 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you and he hadn't promised to be "exclusive", it is not really his business what you did with someone else. He can be upset, sure, but he should understand that you guys were not yet back together. If you want to be together, why put it off? If one of you is stringing the other one along, it's time to cut the string.
2007-10-22 10:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by soelo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were close to getting back together with him, you should have listened to him. Looks like he had your best interest in mind.
All you can do now is give him time. He's upset over the whole situation, and he'll need time to calm down. If it's meant to be, he'll be back.
2007-10-22 10:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by sublime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you should call him up and if he doesn't want to talk, go to his house and try talking to him. Explain to him how much your sorry and tell him that you don't wanna lose him over this. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what will. Maybe try moving on even though that may not sound as easy as it sounds.
2007-10-22 10:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by brianna s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like he was looking for a more permanent and intimate relationship with you, but you ignored his wishes and just did what you wanted to. You can't do that if you want to have a serious relationship, and your actions said to him that you weren't that serious about him - or ready to make a commitment. When you get married, you absolutely have to listen to and consider the needs and wishes of your spouse. But all your actions here told your ex that you really didn't care about his feelings - it was just all about what you wanted to do. Your actions proved to your ex bf that you couldn't be trusted.
When you are ready to get serious with someone, just try to think how they feel about your actions. Put yourself in their place... what if he had gone to a party with his best friend (if she had been a girl) and had "hooked up" with some babe there... wouldn't you feel betrayed, too?
One other comment. You can't handle drinking, so I would suggest that you stop, having been one who used to drink 16 double shots of Jack Daniels and getting crazy wild. There were so many regrets when I'd remember what I did the night before... stuff that I thought was funny or fun, but I was ashamed to admit to the next day. I lost friends, boyfriends, and wasted so many years of my life by just going out and partying when I could have been creating a good life and having wonderful relationships with friends. I had to realize sooner or later that my life was out of control.
I thought it was fun... until one night I woke up and found a lot of stuff misplaced, moved around, and lots of my paper towels gone. I thought someone had been in my apartment. Turns out I finally remembered that I had thrown up and cleaned up the stuff myself... but had a brownout about it. That's when it really hit me. I felt like I was crazy - but I finally decided to just quit and find other ways to have fun... and today - I can say that it is far more pleasant to not have any regrets when I remember the things I did the day before.
If I had continued in my ways, I would have never met my wonderful husband nor have my beautiful, sweet daughter.
For you, honey, drinking alcohol is like playing russian roulette. One of these nights, you're going to be drinking with the wrong group of guys who have no respect for you, and you may be passed out, but they'll all be taking advantage of you. Or they may play a horrible joke on you at your expense. Worse, you might (if you drink and drive) kill someone accidentally. No amount of liquor and partying is worth any of that.
2007-10-22 10:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by Mama's on the half tip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is really not much else you can do. You have appoligised. He may forgive you in time. He's just not ready to yet. Hey, you made a mistake. It's to late to do anything about it. I'd say he's upset that you would not listen to him.
2007-10-22 10:13:40 · answer #10 · answered by wingedstrider 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋