He tried to choke me this past weekend and pushed be around. I just want him to go to anger management classes. I think he may even be using steroids! We have a 2 year old daughter together. I know when he is arrested I will have to leave and have no contact with him but I just want to be at home. I know of the penelope house but I don't want to live in a shelter. I have friends and family but their houses are packed. Any suggestions? What other housing options are available. I live on the coast of Alabama.
2007-10-22 02:52:15 · 10 answers · asked by nikki 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
You love him and you think he loves you. Well...he does not love you or he would not be violent toward you. Your story is common to most abused women. What you need to understand is that he loves the power and control he has over another human being and this behavior pattern WILL NOT not change unless he gets serious professional help, and you too.
2007-10-22 03:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by rico3151 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You firstly need to get an arrest warrant and then a restraining order. It's sad that I hear these "I love him but he beats me stories" all the time. If you can't find a shelter, move to another state that does have a shelter. You could move in with a relative, but I don't think this will help much. If he comes to their houses looking for you then what? I suggest getting the arrest warrant and the restraining order. Then get a gun that you can fit down in your purse. So that if he violates the restraining order you have the right to shoot him dead.
Sadly, you have a child involved in this situation. I don't know how long you have had to put up with this man before or after the child was born. But, that should be all the more reason for you to see that he doesn't give a d.a.m.n about you. Any man that would beat a woman needs to be put in jail, but to beat the mother of your child..... That is just downright ridiculous!! That should be the more reason for you to carry a gun.
2007-10-22 10:09:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Violence in a relationship only escalates. You need to think of your daughter and your own well being and safety. I would live with family or friends or the shelter anything is better than being abused. Get some counseling yourself. My grandmother used to say "beggars can't be choosers". Staying with anyone should be a temporary solution. Be grateful you have a place to go just think of the women that don't or the ones that just don't leave because "they love him" and wind up dead. Do you want that for you and your little girl. Ask yourself this, suppose it is your daughter and grand daughter in an abusive relationship what would you want her to do?
2007-10-22 09:59:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to this website http://www.downtownrescuemission.org/component/option,com_frontpage/Itemid,1/
They not only provide shelter, but will also help you find a permanent home. It is better to go and stay with them than relatives. If you stay with relatives, you run the chance of this man knowing where to find you. These shelters have confidential housing so no one will know where you are. Good luck and do what is right for you and that child of yours.
2007-10-22 10:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by killerbee492001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the shelter, let them help you with the resources they have. You will have to get a job, and a home of your own and raise your daughter in a safe environment. This is from a woman who knows. My son did much better when I left his abusive father. I even got the attorney I used to get my divorce through them. I did try to get my husband to get counseling, and he would never go because he was afraid his friends would find out. It was then that I finally went to the attorney and filed the papers. I gave him three weeks to do it, after I got out of the shelter. Just get out while you are still alive.
2007-10-22 10:03:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wherever you go, those around you will be endangered as well. At least tell them of the possible threat to their own safety so they can make an informed decision about whether they're up to the task and accept the risk. Violence, when it happens, often hits the innocent bystanders (family and friends). You've chosen to love him and wish for change, but your supporters may not be risk takers with their own lives and well being.
2007-10-22 10:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't love him if you don't trust him you are just scared. Starting over without you usual stuff is stressful. When I left mine I lost my house, boat, dogs and cats and everyone on his side I had ever known. Move on a shelter if you must then get your own place. I left mine 24 years ago the best move I ever made. Soon the new will be normal for you work through the strangeness and come out on the other side.
2007-10-22 10:00:41 · answer #7 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The law can force him to leave the house, but do you need for him not to know where you are?
2007-10-22 09:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by adoptive mom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are aware of all the options...
better select one that suits you... as a crisis management measure...
later on you may select a place of your choice...
2007-10-22 09:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Harish Jharia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to this website and get help! http://www.enddomesticviolence.com/default.asp
2007-10-22 09:58:46 · answer #10 · answered by T W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋