I live with my widowed mum (I'm 36). I've always lived with her and I work full time. We get on extremely well together. I am not married, as 'it's just not happened yet'. I'd loved to be married one day, but can wait. Mum and I enjoy each other's company very well and go out a lot together. She is my best friend too. We do have our own very few friends of course, but we have no family whatsoever (all dead). The problem is, I have had comments made by christians at church like, "You can go places without your mum you know" and from a pastor, "You really need to try and detach from your mum, as it looks like you do everything together but have the sex!" I feel I am being judged and also being a christian, I feel it is my duty to (1 Tim 5 v4) look after her, in which I have no complaints about. What do you think? I love my life with my mum.
2007-10-22 02:24:48 · 35 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
YOU NEED A NEW CHURCH!!!
If your pastor is harassing you like that that is a lawsuit waiting to happen!!!
Find a church that will accept you for who you and your mom are UNDERSTANDING CARING AND FAMILY!!
U dont need a comment like that from ANYONE not even a FRIEND!
BTW I have fallen away, but that is not the church for you two!
I fell because of people like them!!!
2007-10-22 02:28:32 · answer #1 · answered by snuggelz 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
WHO are these people to judge YOUR life and the way you choose to live it? I see NOTHING wrong with your living arrangements with your Mum, and YES, I am a Christian. For quite a while, both myself and my (then) small son lived with my Mum, as she was also my best friend. Yes, we both had other friends besides each other, too. But, if you enjoy each others company, and get on well together, there is NO REASON why ANYONE should place ANY KIND of judgment your YOUR life. You aren't doing ANYTHING wrong! Rather, CHERISH THESE DAYS, Honey. Make the most of them. I lost my Mum to breast cancer when I was 37--and she was 65. If necessary, you may even want to think about changing churches that you attend because this is no way for a TRUE Christian (especially a Pastor) to behave. WE, as mortals, are NOT here to judge each other. We're here to love one-another.
2007-10-22 03:13:14 · answer #2 · answered by sharon w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do need to look after your mum, it's brilliant that you can have this sort of relationship with her! The only snag is that one day your mum won't be there, and you say you have no family, so who will look after you when you get old?
You sound like such a caring person, perhaps your church friends think you would make a good mother and thats why they want to see you get out more and meet new people to have your own family one day.
2007-10-22 03:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by floppity 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are fine. If your mom (mum! I love that) is going according to 1st Timothy 5:1-14 then her church should be supporting her solely, but obviously that's not happening or they wouldn't have judged you so harshly.
As for the marriage thing, as long as your mom isn't going with you on dates, I don't see anything wrong with having the excellent relationship you have with your mother.
Be patient, if you want a husband, then God will give you one. It may very well be God wants you right here, supporting your mother. If your family is all dead, then why listen to their judgments? Use what time you can with your parents.
2007-10-22 02:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by tcjstn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right on. There is nothing in the Bible that says you should leave your parents except in getting married. It doesn't say you should move out when you're 18, only when you get married, so you're totally in line with the Bible in staying at home with your mum. It's a blessing probably that you get along so well and have that place with her.
Christians are all too often guilty of "thinking like the world" -- They take the world's opinion that when you turn 18 you are an adult and should be on your own. Christians also often confuse their opinions with scriptural mandates.
2007-10-22 09:16:07 · answer #5 · answered by BaseballGrrl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to think about this one as it's a bit complicated. Lets take the religious element out of it and see what we've got. Basically, your a single woman living and looking after your mum. Thats about it aint it? Forget about the comments ( what a daft thing to say, As if you can forget) I dont mean to sound cruel but basically your griping about being alone and you think that the world is treating you bad. You aint got a bloke and your lumbered with your mum whos probably very demanding. Your 36, not exactly in the first flush of youth but still in a position where you can choose and you also know that you have to make up your mind in the next couple of years. This is all going in one direction aint it? Your giving out a cry for help and that cry is, How can I get away from mum without hurting her?She is so dependant on me. Never mind what it says in the bible, your duty is to yourself and so is your mums. A really loving caring mum would want what is best for her child and not monopolise her. My advice is to find a life for her and then get on your bike, and if you feel guilty for a bit dont worry as that will wear of in about five mins. This is the best advice that your going to get so use it or loose it and remember that nobody out there is going to help you, Your future is in your hands
2007-10-22 03:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is possible that they are suggesting you detach yourself some in order to allow other people into your life ie. a male potentially a husband. However, Biblically you are under no obligation other than to care for your mother. Perhaps they are concerned that your attachment to your Mum is hindering you from pursuing your life.
These may be suggestions that may or may not fit your circumstance. I would suggest you take these issues with you as you pray and ask for God's direction. Do not allow them to judge you, once you feel secure in what God is saying, then tell them you are fulfilling what you are called to do at this time in your life.
The Lord knows the plans He has for us and if submitted to Him they will come to pass
God Bless
Pastor G
2007-10-22 02:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by ggirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd find a different church. When people do as the Lord directs them, it looks weird to the carnal Christian.
On the other hand, though, you need to consider if this is what the Lord is directing you to do, or is it distracting you form living your own life? But, this is a thing for you to decide, and not the church.
2007-10-22 04:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by Caveman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you are to be commended for the care and companionship you are offering your mother.
Many people have found a way to keep their loved ones close, and still lead a romantic life.
Please do what is right in your heart and don't worry about what others tell you.
They do not have to live your life, and will not be held accountable for doing the wrong things, but you will, so stick to what is right.
Good luck & God bless...
.
2007-10-22 02:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by Brotherhood 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's awesome that you are taking care of your mom. Live your life the way you want and be happy. Not sure what type of church you attend, but those people (ESPECIALLY the pastor) are way out of line. Sounds like they need to get a life of their own.
2007-10-22 02:30:33 · answer #10 · answered by nite_angelica 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're happy with your life, don't feel pressured to do things differently or take on something new just because some pastor made some comments.
Change things only if you want and need to, not because what other people tell you.
2007-10-22 02:31:49 · answer #11 · answered by k² 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋