To all Lesbian Catholics: How were you able to reconcile your faith with your sexuality?

Question

I'm a Lesbian but have never had a relationship with another woman due to my strong religious background. Any advices???

Answer 1

I'm straight, but I wanted to say, EVERYBODY has to reconcile their faith with their sexuality. It's rather sad to hear people say that one has nothing to do with the other, but faith is morality and sex without morals is basically just prostitution, regardless as to whether it's gay or straight sex.

I am sure that you already know that same-sex attraction is not condemned by the Church. Those who have this attraction, however, cannot act upon it because sex is only holy within the bounds of matrimony. Please note that straight people also have to control their sexual urges in the Catholic religion -- it's not that we get off scot-free while our brothers and sisters with SSA have to carry all the burden. For example, married Catholics who truly wish to follow the Church cannot use artificial birth control, so if we are in a position where we cannot welcome another child for some grave reason (health, financial, etc.), then we also have to practice self-control and abstain from sex, at least periodically.

The most sympathetic and helpful people you can speak with are those who have taken a vow of celibacy. The priests and religious sisters in your community are well-practiced in maintaining absolute control over their sexual urges, and they are the ones who can offer you the best advice.

BTW, my sister is a lesbian and I have had many friends who are gay over the years. I used to play on a softball team that was sponsored by a gay bar. I have no wish to condemn homosexual people in any way. I know I'll get a zillion thumbs-down for this message, but that's okay -- each person is entitled to their opinion. I just wanted to present the Church's true position.

Answer 2

I am also a lesbian and have been probably all of my life. I dated many men because that is what society dictates , but I fell in love with a woman 8 years ago and I have been with her ever since. I can understand your dilemma with this question though, especially if you were born and raised Catholic. I don't know much about the Catholic religion, but what I do know, is that homosexuality is extremely frowned upon within the Catholic religion and still is in some aspects of society. Though it has become more tolerable, it hasn't truly been accepted as a way of life and not a choice.
I to, had to struggle with religious turmoil. I was born and raised United Methodist and though I felt accepted within my church from some, I also felt like an outsider from some of the older more "seasoned" parishioners. I live in a very rural area so there aren't as many openly gay people around here as there are in a city for example.
The struggle between religion and human sexuality is a tough one, because come churches tend to dictate what is right and what is wrong. There is really a fine line drawn there also, I am not saying disregard your faith in anyway, I am saying that being true to yourself and who you are may make you happier. I truly believe that being gay is not a choice and if the people in religious power new that they wouldn't frown so heavily on it. Only you know what is best for you.
I consider myself a Christian, I love god with all my heart and soul and I believe in Jesus and how he died on the cross for our sins. Only God can judge us. He knows are hearts better than we do. As a Christian, I believe God loves all his creatures big or small, male or female, black or white or anything in between. We are all part of his Davine plan. He wouldn't have made you the way you are if he didn't want you that way.
I truly hope that this has been of some help to you, and I wish you the best, in that you find, a happy medium between your faith and your sexuality. Take Care and God Bless.

Answer 3

I worry that you are going to get a lot of stupid answers, from both sides, on this. My simplest answer is... if you can, move somewhere where people won't care. Los Angeles, New York, or Chicago is a good start.

I, for one, don't know how anyone can reconcile their faith with their sexuality, but possibly looking at Leviticus which prescribes death for eating shrimp (yes, really) might be a start - if other Christian folks can get over that, they might some day get over the fact that you're a girl who likes girls. Or not. I dunno. But I genuinely and truly wish you well.

Answer 4

Your avatar looks like a dude, dude!

Just joking. Seriously, I don't know how lesbians can reconcile patriarchal desert gods with anything.

Answer 5

Lion of Judah- Very well said. You speak the truth with a wording that I cannot match. I always come off sounding too forceful. Well done. God bless.

Answer 6

There are those who like to say that the Bible does not condemn homosexuality. Various verses are cited (out of context) and the verses that people use to show that homosexuality is wrong are explained away. The world wants to change God's words and meanings into something more suitable to its sinful desires. Nevertheless, the truth stands: The Bible condemns homosexuality as a sin. Let's look at what it says.

Lev. 18:22, "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

Lev. 20:13, "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them"

1 Cor. 6:9-10, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

Rom. 1:26-28, "For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. 28And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper."

Homosexuality is clearly condemned by the Bible. It goes against the created order of God. He created Adam and then made a woman. This is what God has ordained and it is what is right. Unlike other sins, homosexuality has a severe judgment administered by God Himself. This judgment is simple: They are given over to their passions. That means that their hearts are allowed to be hardened by their sins (Romans 1:18ff). As a result, they can no longer see the error of what they are doing. Without an awareness of their sinfulness, there will be no repentance and trusting in Jesus. Without Jesus, they will have no forgiveness. Without forgiveness, there is no salvation.

What should be the Christian's Response to the Homosexual?

Just because someone is a homosexual does not mean that we cannot love him (or her) or pray for him (her). Homosexuality is a sin and like any other sin, it needs to be dealt with in the only way possible. It needs to be laid at the cross, repented of, and never done again.
As a Christian, you should pray for the salvation of the homosexual the same you would any other person in sin. The homosexual is still made in the image of God -- even though he is in grave sin. Therefore, you should show him same dignity as anyone else you come in contact with. However, this does not mean that you are to approve of their sin. Don't compromise your witness for a socially acceptable opinion that is void of godliness.

Answer 7

simple, they don't follow The Church.