do we just sweep off or tell her off in a nicer language n not hurt the relationship?
2007-10-22 00:10:45 · 6 answers · asked by candie 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's really up to the recipient to dissuade a flirt. That said, if someone is flirting with you - then it's up to you to tell the flirt to be more restrained. If it's your significant other, then it's up to him/her to tell the flirt to stop. That means he/she must screw up the courage to stand up for him/herself.
Yes, it risks hurting the flirt's feelings - but then again someone who makes others uncomfortable isn't much of a friend...
Key point - If the partner of the recipent says anything, then it sends several unwanted messages - partner is insecure, jealous and possessive. Which only gives the flirt a reason to flirt more.
So if you have an acquaintance in your circle of friends who openly flirts with your partner, ask him/her (in private, of course) to put an end to it - This must be in a public situation so that flirt knows this isn't just another "go-away-closer" act.
Of course, begin gently, "are you flirting with me? If you are, please stop. It makes me uncomfortable." but more often than not, flirts don't listen to polite and gentle reminders. So, the recipient may have to become more insistent with a chronic flirt - using a very stern voice and stern look, "Jeanne I have asked you several times to stop flirting with me and yet, for some reason, you persist in making me uncomfortable. That is both disrespectful and mean. If you don't stop it immediately - and continue to keep your distance, I will have to reconsider whether you are indeed a friend or not." Then the recipient must turn his/her back on the flirt.
Again, denouncing the flirt's behavior in public - gently at first and getting more stern as time goes by - is key.
Now, flirt will of course, pout and seek sympathy from others - be prepared for fallout. However, that's the reason for the public denouncements - others will have an idea that flirt "asked for the reprimand."
But first, recipient has to tell flirt that she is making him/her uncomfortable with her behavior - and to please stop it.
2007-10-22 02:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would depend on my significant other's reaction to the flirting, and how serious the flirting is. Depending on those two factors, I could react anywhere from "No big deal" to "Leave my bf the he!! alone!"
2007-10-22 09:04:45 · answer #2 · answered by FlowerChild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the flirting is thier problem. It would depend on how my boyfriend/spouse reacted to it. If he started ignoring me and hanging with her, HE would be in trouble. But if he tried to avoid her and try to stay closer to me, she'll just have to get over it.
2007-10-22 08:35:02 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Ashley K. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a big Protector of Territory. Here's how I see it:
If someone is trying to flirt with my wife, she is fully capable of shutting him down without my help.
If she flirts back, my issue is with her...not him.
If she needs my intervention, either verbal or otherwise...she'll ask for it.
2007-10-22 08:16:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
As long as my spouse or significant other did not flirt back, I would be ok with it.
2007-10-22 07:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by Johnny Conservative 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think as a woman, you have to tighten the ropes time to time. No outsider should invade the personal space of a boyfriend and girlfriend so inform this person to back off
2007-10-22 07:52:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋