Johnny Jokes Part Four!!Star if ya like?

Question

1.ne Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Little Johnny."

"Good morning, Father," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Father Scott, what is this?" Little Johnny asked. "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Johnny's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"

2.Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out...

"Okay everyone in the house, please stand advised that I, Little Johnny Elvis Smith, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex-education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!"

3.Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.

“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.

“He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a
good answer to her husband's baldness.

Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so
much hair?”

4.Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?”

Little Johnny in the front row proudly said, “You're a mother!”

5."Mummy, Mummy!" called Little Johnny one day. "Do you know the beautiful vase in the dining room that's been handed down from generation to generation?"

"Yes", said his mother. "What about it?"

"Well the last generation just dropped it."

6.The teacher spent the entire hour reading to her class about the bison family. When she had finished, she said, “Name some things that are very dangerous to get near to and have horns.”

Little Johnny spoke up without hesitation, “Automobiles?”

7.The teacher was discussing different jobs held by the parents of the students. When she called on Little Johnny, she asked, "And what does your father do?"

"Oh, he's a magician," replied Johnny.

"Really? And what's his best trick?"

"His best trick is sawing people in half."

"Wonderful!" exclaimed the teacher. "Tell me, are there any more children in your family?"

"Yes ma'am, I have a half brother and two half sisters."

8.Little Johnny, and his grandfather entered the vacation cabin, and kept the lights off until they were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.

Still, a few fireflies followed them in. Noticing them before his grandfather did, Little Johnny whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9.Little Johnny was on his way back home from the store with a loaf of bread in one hand, and his other hand in his pants
pocket.

Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little Johnny and realizes this is the perfect opportunity to go preach the gospel of the Holy Bible to the young boy.

Father Joseph approaches little Johnny and says, "I see that you have the "Staff of Life" in one hand."

"Yep," replies little Johnny. "And I have a loaf of bread in the other!"

10.Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

The father replied, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

Answer 1

a very funny collection...
at first, i had thought that it would be those little nasty jokes famous for "Little Johnny", but waht a relief to find a bunch of nice clean little jokes!
here, take a star.

Answer 2

1, 3, and 5 were the best. I love this. 5/5.

Answer 3

The jokes you show are really funny, makes a dull day bright and sunny.

Answer 4

All in one. You should be arrested for making me almost loose my job!
















I was laughing out so loud, I forgot I was at work and not supposed to be surfing.



















Thanx.

Answer 5

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 6

a star for you my friend.i enjoyed reading them and thnx for the laugh.

Answer 7

love ur johnny jokes...:D

Answer 8

haha! very funny :)