Can you please help me, there is this people who is also staying on my bf's dads farm, we are renting and they are just living there cause the guy is working for my bf's dad on the farm. This guy's girlfriend is starting a new job today, but they always come and lend food or rice or sweets of something, and my bf says nothing he just gives it to them, i also doesn't get a big salary and im 19 but working for a year now. The guy and his girlfriend is 38 and 47, but they keep on lending things from us, and im getting tired. What must i do? I feel like the welfare or something? If i were the welfare i would help little children not adults that can look after themselves. Help please... Thank you
2007-10-21 23:31:37 · 7 answers · asked by POP 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you give an abusive person your hand, he will demand for your arm. It's not wrong to share things, but you know when helping people turns into having yourself abused and that's when it needs to stop. Talk to your bf about this and you have to come to a mutual agreement to stop lending these people everything. Only then will these people exert some effort to grow a pair of feet each so they can stand on their own.
2007-10-22 00:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two ways to look at this. It sounds like your boyfriend was brought up to help people who need help regardless of the situation. What you do to help someone else will come back to you in other ways. That is a lesson in compassion. There will always be someone else who is less fortunate than you and it's a good feeling to be in a position to be able to help someone else.
The other way to look at this is what are they doing to help themselves? The woman's starting a new job today so she'll be better able to help them provide for themselves. Keep in mind her first paycheck won't come for at least a week or two depending on where she's working. If the guy is working for your boyfriend's Dad he's probably being paid about the same as your boyfriend who I'm assuming is working for his Dad. So they're pretty much in the same boat as you. Except as far as you know, they're not paying rent.
Think about the couple in question. They're both working so they recognize a need to help themselves. Is it possible that your boyfriend's Dad is taking money out of the guys pay to cover rent? You never really know another person's situation. Is isn't always what it looks like on the surface.
Talk to your boyfriend, ask him the reason he's doing what he's doing. Tell him how you feel about it. He may be able to help you see things in a different light. If the borrowing continues after the woman starts bringing home a paycheck, you may want to tell her it's putting a strain on your budget. If you work together you may be able to work out some kind of compromise where you can help each other.
A lesson for you in this is be grateful for what you have, be willing to help people in need and be willing to communicate your needs in a way that will be helpful to all.
2007-10-22 09:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let your bf answer the door anymore. Put your foot down. Tell the girl off. Just do something to stop it.
2007-10-22 06:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first I thought you meant they were lending you stuff, rather than borrowing it from you, but now I realise you just had your words confused.
If they are borrowing stuff from you, then after a while start asking when they are going to return it to you/give it back to you, and refuse to give them anything else until they have repaid their debt to you.
2007-10-22 06:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by Philosopher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd get your b'friend to politely say to them,
" Sorry we haven't got any................?" My husband says that charity starts at home, so therefore your money and stuff is your and your b'friends. He must learn to say no! The neighbours will soon get the picture, and that they can't take your hospitallity for granted.
2007-10-22 07:46:30 · answer #5 · answered by clarkspetcouriers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your bf will not listen to you then that is how your marriage will be. Take control of your money and put it away where he can not touch it.
BB
2007-10-22 06:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your b/f he might as well hand over all his money to them. It's only a matter of time before they ask for it anyway.
2007-10-22 09:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋