My real name is Pamela and in the workplace someone I usually get along with has started calling me Pammy which might be ok if I'm with family but I thinik it's patronising at work. I have no intention of falling out with this person especially because I am new so I am still trying to fit in the team. What would be the best way to tell this guy that I don't like being called Pammy without falling out with him? Or even showing that it offends me too much or it might backfire if he decides to do it more.
2007-10-21 23:19:15 · 15 answers · asked by Char 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Pull him aside and gently tell him that while you appreciate that he's nice enough to give you a casual nickname, you would appreciate being addressed by your real name. If he ignores or sneers at your request, then there is no way to avoid a falling out. In that case, you would have several options. You could:
1) Refuse to acknowledge him when he calls you "Pammy." How can you be expected to respond if that's not your name? (I had to use this technique with teachers when I was a child. My real name is one of those Southern double names, like MaryJane. Teachers insisted on calling me Mary. I'd tell them my name is MaryJane and they'd continue calling me Mary. So I began to ignore anyone who didn't refer to me by my real name. Then they got it.)
2) Make up a nickname for him that he will likely hate. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
3) Go to your supervisor and explain the situation. Tell him/her that you feel the nickname "Pammy" is insulting, demeaning and demoralizing. And on the verge of harassment, especially since you asked him very nicely to stop.
2007-10-22 01:18:08 · answer #1 · answered by Avie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I never shorten a person's name unless I know them really well for the exact reason you mention.
Pamela is a beautiful name and I wouldn't shorten it to Pammy unless you were part of my family.
Buy him a coffee and when you give it to him say, "Just by the way, can we stop this Pammy thing. Only my grandmother calls me by that name and it usually means I'm in trouble. What name did you get called when you were in trouble?"
2007-10-22 06:47:45 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Sally Anne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him in a non agressive way and in private that you don't like to be called Pammy. He should understand. If it does backfire then don't give any response when he calls you that. He will soon get the message.
2007-10-22 06:53:42 · answer #3 · answered by beautyspot23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MarieT is right, you start out by asking them nicely to stop and giving them a good reason. "Please don't call me that. For personal reasons, I really dislike being called that." Be patient about reminding them with these same kind words for a week or two or three ... until the whole office knows that this person is really pushing you. Then you can escalate to a one time outburst, preferably before sympathetic witnesses "I've asked you over and over not to call me that. Are you harrassing me? Are you trying to create a hostile work environment? My name is Pamela." By outburst, I don't mean you should shout or make a scene; just be less patient and polite than usual.
If the idiot still keeps it up, go to your boss and tell him/her that your job performance is suffering and ask for advice in dealing with it. I can't promise that your boss will help you, but if you work for a large organization words like "hostile work environment" and "harrass" will tell your boss that you are prepared to go over his/her head. This has a way of really grabbing a boss's attention.
2007-10-22 09:30:03 · answer #4 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when he addresses you as pammy you could ignore him and hope he gets the hint. Or flat out tell him that you hate being called pammy and how silly and kiddish it sounds.
2007-10-22 10:58:43 · answer #5 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just politely let him know you prefer to be called Pamela. If you get along with him I can't see that there should be a problem. The fact they he has given you a nickname would indicate to me that you do get along. It shouldn't be a big deal for him to call you by your real name.
2007-10-22 06:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by Choqs 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him......"I prefer to be called Pamela and I won't answer you if you call me Pammy".
2007-10-22 11:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find something stupid or inappropriate to call him and see his reaction and if he doesn't like it than tell him "Don't call me Pammy then"
Or just be honest with him and tell him that you don't think it's appropriate and be friendly about it. I'm sure he will understand.
Good Luck!
2007-10-22 06:24:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask the person nicely, not to call you by the name. You can also try telling him/her, when they call you Pammy, call me Pamela please.
2007-10-22 10:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by Brewspy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell him that you really prefer to be called Pam/Pamela. Leave it at that. If if happens again, be a little more assertive (not aggressive) and explain that you have asked nicely to please not use that name when addressing you.
2007-10-22 10:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by Waterwitch E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋