1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
2007-10-21 20:46:05 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15 Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
2007-10-21 20:46:44 · update #1
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
2007-10-21 20:46:55 · update #2
very good list
starred
2007-10-21 22:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heard most of those before, but the Santa one is a killer for sure, cheers
2007-10-21 20:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
35.can ilikeajoke give us another hundred , as these were brilliant.
36 why is there only one monopolies commision
37 why do pretty people have ugly friends
2007-10-22 12:50:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha.!!!
Liked them so 10/10.!!!
Must follow Santa around next time, lol.!!!
Cheers Chris.!!!
2007-10-22 12:35:23 · answer #4 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good 1's lol 10/10 x
2016-04-09 21:16:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of them are very good. Cheers. lol
2007-10-21 21:51:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both funny and true lol
2007-10-22 00:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
34 made me laugh because that would be funny
2007-10-21 20:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good keep them coming
2007-10-21 21:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by lennydiane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha funny lol
2007-10-21 22:11:43 · answer #10 · answered by Sparky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋