I'm on a limited income - as are most of my fellow residents - but they spend their monthly check really fast and always come to me for 'loans'... They hardly ever pay back the full amount that I give them, putting it on their 'tab' for the following month. I'm really getting tired of it... can someone suggest how I toughen up and say No?
2007-10-21 19:52:36 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's hard at first to say "no" to someone. I know; I've been in that situation myself. You want people to like you, but there comes a time when those people start taking advantage. There's nothing wrong with loaning a person money one time and then again, as long as they pay back the first loan. Unless they pay back the first loan, don't loan them any more money.
The next time someone who hasn't paid you back asks for money, tell them you honestly don't have money to spare. It's technically the truth. They didn't pay the original money back to you--you don't have it. As you practice saying no, you'll find out that it feels pretty good to stand up for yourself and protect your assets. And, to make it even better, when you say no, you are doing them a favor. You said you all get a monthly check and that they spend it really fast. Yet you manage to make yours last. They need better money management skills and if someone keeps bailing them out, they're not going to have the inclination to learn. Good luck to you!
2007-10-22 01:30:35 · answer #1 · answered by Avie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just toughen up, and say, "I'm sorry, I'm tapped out too." Be really sympathetic, but still say no in the end.
The fact of the matter is, they'll find some other way to get the money. If you miss the feeling of being the "good guy," buy brownies or cookies at the *beginning* of the pay cycle, and share them around. You will still lose money, but there will be no hard feelings when people don't "pay your cookies back."
2007-10-21 22:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Madame M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People may make "loans" in the thought that that will make them popular. The people who truly like you will like you even if they can't borrow you poor.
You need to stop making loans across the board---no exceptions. The only explanation these guys need is "I'm on a tight budget and just don't have any money to spare." That is the truth.
It will also reduce your stress because you will have more money to cover your own costs.
There are a lot of good people out there who would rather not borrow money from friends as a matter of course.
2007-10-21 20:01:51 · answer #3 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It seems that they don't have control over their earnings and responsibility like you do. Good for you!
You don't have to lie; tell them that you are short of money because you lend money and people don't pay you back! You have bills to pay and you can't pay them when people don't pay you back. It is that simple.
You aren't their mommy and daddy. Laugh and tell them your interest rate is waaaay higher than the loan companies, change the subject, bid them a great day and go on about your business.
It is easy for people to mooch off of you but if you try to claim it back, human nature steps in and they don't want to hear that from you. They only want to see that green stuff.
It's better to have your bills paid and let your moochers check you off their "sucker" list. Best wishes!
2007-10-21 21:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by caves51 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would just say, "Sorry, I just don't do loans any more." It's as simple as that. If they protest and try to talk you into it, just say "You're not going to change my mind, so please don't mention it again". It's not super offensive, but others may label it as rude, if they are used to you being a push over. Just stand your ground and refuse to talk about it if they bring it up. If they continue to bring it up, just say nothing and walk away. They will soon leave you alone about it
Been there and done that. I don't let people roll over me any more and you don't have to either. It's better for people to think you're rude than for them to think you can be taken advantage of. If they are your real friends, then they will get over it and even more importantly, PAY YOU BACK WHAT THEY ALREADY OWE YOU!
2007-10-21 20:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by Tea 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When the last person I loaned money to pays me back, I can loan you the money. I don't loan money to more than one person. Or just say I was going to ask if you could loan me some money.
2007-10-21 20:03:17 · answer #6 · answered by Bobby K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would present a refusal as a hard and fast rule - "I am very sorry, but I make it a rule never to lend money to friends. I find that otherwise money can damage the friendship". This is an elegant and acceptable way to say No, and they will not take offence.
2007-10-21 20:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do as I do, say you don't have it to loan this month. But I'm not a nice guy either. If they owe me, and come back for more, I tell them they already owe me, and I want my money. I also tell them to manage their money better. That I have bills also. But also to, I don't loan money, only to very select 1 or 2.
2007-10-21 20:05:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you're not a bank! I suggest that if you have given out 'loans' in the past, STOP doing so. Especially to the ones you know are not good for re-payments!
2007-10-21 22:42:46 · answer #9 · answered by Brewspy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them what they have for collateral, that far exceeds the value of what they want you to loan. If someone wants to borrow $20, then they need to give you the pink slip to their car. Someone wants to borrow $200, they need to give you something to hold worth $5,000. Stuff like that. You just make the requirements so expensive that they can't afford to ask.
You will have to be more assertive and it may end up making some people you know unhappy. That's the way it goes.
2007-10-21 19:57:30 · answer #10 · answered by Paul R 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋