I have never been close with my father but he is a great guy. He has lived in a different state for as long as i can remember and i've never realy needed him or felt obligated to build and maintain a relationship with him. I'm 26 and i have so much going on in my own life that when i get home at night he is the last thing from my mind. About avery six months or so he calls me and has a way of making me feel guilty for not making an effort to keep in touch. When ever i'm with him i have a blast. I see so much of my self in him but i just dont have the desire to have him as a part of my life. Am i a dick or am i just trying working on my carrier and build a family and have fun with friends? How do you tell someone with so much guilt for never being there that you have never needed them?
2007-10-21 19:30:24 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're not a dick. You're young. It's normal to be wrapped up in yourself at your age, but take some advice from someone who is watching her mother's declining heath:
You will never wich you had spent LESS time with your dad.
You can spare an hour a week to telephone him. You will never regret making the effort, but if you DON'T, once he is gone you might find yourself wishing you had tried harder for the rest of your life.
You don't have to have a father/son relationship if that's not what you want. You are an adult. You can be his friend. If he is such a great guy, why wouldn't you want to?
Don't tell him you never needed him. He can see that you are happy and successful, and he knows you did it without him.
2007-10-21 19:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by graysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you don't feel a desire to keep in contact with your father. I encourage you to make more of an effort, though, because later on you might regret not being able to contact him anymore. It's natural not to have too much feeling for a person that you don't know well. But I hope that as you get to know him better you will care for him more. All the best to you and your family.
2007-10-21 19:36:02 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both have email addresses, the least that could be done, is to keep contact through email. That way you can get to it when you have the time, and he gets a little more communication with his daughter.
You may not need him, but perhaps he needs you. He wants to know about his daughter now, and although it seems ''too little too late'' to you, he could see it as ''before it's too late''.
2007-10-21 19:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him "The Cats in the Cradle" song. It describes a father exactly like yours who as an adult realized they goofed up by never spending time with his son when he was a boy.
2007-10-21 19:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why was your father living far away from you in the first place? It is a parent's responsibility to be close to his/her children. He chose not to live close to you. I don't think you should feel guilty at all.
2007-10-21 19:49:47 · answer #5 · answered by Highland 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋