Muslims what about parents?

Question

* I just want to say I’m not talking about all Muslim parents, just some. * What role are Muslim parents suppose to play in their kid’s life? If Muslim parents don't teach their kids the correct Islam, and encourage them when they’re young to live according to Islam all the way, what fault do the kids have when they make a mistake in the future years? It's hard on teens (especially in the U.S and other non-Islamic countries) to live the correct Islamic way these days because the parent’s don’t teach or encourage the kids the correct way at a young age. I think some U.S Muslim teens see the American lifestyle and follow that instead of the parents making sure that they know everything (how and why) pleasurable and punishable in Islam from a young age. Also I think that parents should almost push (in a nice way) the religion on the kids at a young age, so that when they’re going through that confused state (hormonal, emotional etc.) they won’t be mislead. That way when they mature they will appreciate the religion and be with grave sin (like not praying, zina, drinking, and drugs etc.). Parents want to give their kids leeway, which is fine to a certain extent. Don’t you see Muslim kids acting like non-Muslims? The parents almost allow their kids to adapt to non-Islamic life styles. What does the Quran say about parents like this, and parent(s) who leave their kids? Not all Muslim teens that are around non-Muslims find themselves before sin. Do you think it’s the kid’s fault when they turn out bad? What do you think? (I know that some kids even with encouragement or force still turn out bad).

Answer 1

As a Muslim and as a father, I also face the same problems. Although I live in Muslim country, I also see the same problems in my country. Why these problems happen?

In order to ensure our children follow the way of Islam, we need to equip ourselves as role model for them. Before we can become a model for our children, we need to follow our prophet. It is because he is the perfect model for human being. If we can’t follow 100%, just do whatever we could.

The main problem in raising children is when they start having friends and entering school. At school, we can’t see and control them. As we learn in school about balance theory, our children can be influenced by their friends or other way around. So, to overcome this we need to equip our children with strong foundation of iman.

So, first step to educate our children is by developing their faith or iman. This is the same way of prophet teaching his companion in Makah (Mecca) before he migrate to Medina. As we already know, our prophet never teach his companion about Islamic jurisprudent, politic, or economy in first 13 year of da’wah. Why he never does this? It is because in Islam iman is the first priority. If prophet need 13 years to teach tauhid and iman, how about us? So, we must teach our children about oneness of God, faith in prophets, angels, books, qada’ qadr etc before they start entering school. And because faith can be increase or reduce, we need to remind them every day.

Second, the family institution itself must inline with Islamic teaching. As our prophet said, Husband is a leader for his family and wife is a leader for her children. So, we can see the responsibility to shape our children is women and this in not an easy task to do. While men go to work to support the family economy and wife need to do family’s work including teaching children about tauhid. When the husband at home, he also need to perform the same task. The best way to teach our children is by performing salah jemaah (I don’t know how to translate it in English), where father lead the prayer followed by wife and children. After solah, father can give taskirah, teach about Islam, tell a story, etc. when I ask my friends about prayer, mostly they don’t perform jemaah preyer with their family. If they don’t pray with their family, that is the main reason their children don’t follow the Islamic lifestyle.

Before I continue, I’ve read other answers in this question. I found out Majeed already point out the consequence if we not properly raise our children. This is the assent of our live, to get reward in hereafter in the same time to get prosperity/pleasure in this world. Keep bear in mind children are reward from Allah and also amanah from Allah. Everything we own in this world just a loan from Allah to human being. If we borrow something after few days or years we will give it back. It is like borrow a good shiny car from our father then few moments we give it back in scrap? In few moments we will get the “reward” for that, and that “reward” does not include our personal sin in this world. In addition for male they also will be judge on how they treat their wives.

I think, no need for me to make this answer longer. If we want to raise our children, we need to follow the steps. First, make sure the foundation (tauheed & iman) is strong enough before they step on school. Second, relationship in the family also must be excellent to ensure they love their family members. Third, constant reminder and advice to our children because the other meaning of Deen is advice. Fourth, always show good example to our children so they don’t keep searching other model to follow. So, if we can equip our children with iman, don’t worry they will become good Muslim in this world and hereafter.

Answer 2

Yes, its completely the parents responsibilty. If the foundation of the building is not strong, how do you expect the higher floors to be stable. Kids are supposed to educated about Islam. It shouldnt be once in a month or so kind. It should be on a daily basis with small learnings, eg. Should say Bismillah whenever we eat food, its sunnah to wash hands before eating. Over a period of time, the kid grows on these values. & the parents should make sure, that these values are not forgotten.

& Mostly parents tend to say, he's still a kid, let him enjoy, do whatever you want. Here the objective of life is lost.
Why are we here, in this world, whats our goal in life?
We are here to be good Muslims & follow the right path that Allah & Muhammed(pbuh) has shown us & finally enter Jannah, as true Muslims.

Answer 3

No matter what country you come from, or how much people resist, come to America and you will become American. America gives every person the most opportunity and ability to persue which ever religion or life style that they choose than any country they can find on this earth.

A person of opportunity can not be forced to adhere, only guided. Many muslims have guided their children to be devote muslims, many haven't.

Answer 4

It has to do with their upbringing. Their moms and dads stored them near so that they desire to do the equal with you. They are fearful of wasting you. I'm a Muslim too however my moms and dads are not strict. I feel you must exhibit them that your impartial. I'm a sixteen 12 months historic lady and I've continuously attempted to be as impartial as viable by means of doing matters on my possess. I under no circumstances particularly attempted to sneak round like the opposite youngsters or disguise matters. My moms and dads was once kinda proscribing however now they are saying that they do not must fear approximately me cuz they understand I'll do the proper factor. I additionally feel that muslim youngsters are continuously the least inclined to be outspoken or to be blunt with their moms and dads so the moms and dads under no circumstances detect what the child desires

Answer 5

Humans have four categories of pesonalities
1. Leader 2. Analyticl 3. Entertainer 4. Follower.
You teach every thing about Islam yourself or you drive them to Islamic school where professional teachers teach Islam. It is always difficult to teach your own children, so me and my wife drove 140 miles round trip to have our children attend a well established and reputable Islamic school for four hours every Sunday. AlHamdu Lillah they were teen agers and learned what Islam permits to do and what is wrong and Islam prohibits to do. I have 2 sons and 2 daughtes. Two of them had leader personality. No one could make them do they knew they are not supposed to do as Muslims. If some one tried to use peer pressure, they refused to associate with them. My 3rd was Leader and Analytical both. She is the best. My 4th one is follower. I had problems with him. He knew right and wrong but he was more concerned to fit in with the friends being oldest male and could not play with the next two sisters. So he adapted the ways of American kids. I didn't experience parenting either as he was the first child and I was putting lots of extra hours to establish my family in this country.
If you have a follower or entertainet personalty child, you need to know what kind of kids he/she associate with. They desparately need friends and fear to loose any of them. Such can be easily pressured to do what other want them to do. Yes Islamic education is extremely necessary to the children being raised in this country. Parents must have friendship with plenty of really good Muslim families and must visit or invite such families very often so your children have friendship with children of good families. You teach them that reporting about bad behaviour of your friend is best thing to do for your friend, so their parents can correct them. Loving and making friends with children is extremely important so they tell all their problems and new experiences to parents and get good advice from them. If parents are too hard, children keep a distance from them and will get advice from their friends instead of parents. They will make more wrong decisions. Paremts can not fix problems of children if they don't know what is going on in their lives.

Islam teaches that if your children are spoiled and involve in smoking, drugs or pre-marital sex, it is parents fault and not the fault of kids. If they turn out to be bad persons, Allah will question parents on the day of Judgment for not raising the children properly. I hope parents realize that parents is their full time job. As Islam teaches us mother's best place is home. Most Muslim familites prefer to keep their mothers home and not make them go out to work full time because doing so children get neglected. It is better to have lesser materials and live simple life than both parents working and loose children later to American culture.
I hope I have written enough.
Wassalam.