'm a college student and dated a girl for 2 1/2 years, who is from my hometown but also attended the same college as me about 2 hours away from home. I went home for the summer to spend time with my family because I don't really see them 9 months out of the year. My family is together and eating dinner together is important to us. My ex however lives only with her mom and brother. Her brother was gone, and her mom left on a business trip for 1 1/2 months. My ex was alone and demanded me to be with her 24/7. I wanted to spend time with my family, so I tried to balance both. I saw my ex every day, slept over 2-3 times a week, but also spent time with my family. My ex said she felt unloved and abandoned and that she was 2nd place, which was never true. just before we went back to school she broke up with me, saying the summer had caused her to love me less because I "wasn't there for her" enough. I am in love with her still, and this sucks. what could i have done differently?
2007-10-21 18:34:57 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
And now she says she needs "time to be alone to figure herself out". She says that "if we are meant to be together then we will be together." What is going on in her head?
2007-10-21 18:35:44 · update #1
If I were your Mother I would not be able to explain to you so well why this girl is not for you. She did it much better, she left.
be grateful, you do not need her and she does not need you.
You will meet another person who will really love and respect you and your Family.
Cloud 7
2007-10-21 18:40:21 · answer #1 · answered by cloud7 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you were right to spend time with your family but I think it could be possible that she felt as though--after 2 1/2 years...she should be included in some of your "family meals" and whatnot...
You have reached a critical point in you relationship where you are either going to get more serious or less...but it would have been best to integrate her into your family...
She probably felt as though she was second because you compartmentalized her and your family....
If you are still in love with her and you want to be with her, explain to her that you should have included her and that you want to do so during the upcoming holiday (thanksgiving and christmas)...if youa re to have a future with her, that is what is goign to happen anyways....
I would explain myself to her (if I were you) by telling her that family is important to you and if you two get married and have a family you would hope that your children would come home and spend time with you....that's what you want for your future family...
I don't know if this helps, all I am saying is that if you love her and you want a future with her, then you did kind of mess up by not taking the opportunity to include her in your family life...but if you don't know if you are going to marry her....if you feel too young to make that commitment...then let her go.
2007-10-21 19:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, if you had problems with her even when you were only dating, then that wasn't a good sign anyway. Think long-term. If you had married her or something, then this would be an even bigger issue. A wife that didn't appreciate your family would have been horrible. How were you going to balance this out for the rest of your life?
I know it hurts to lose her. But give it time. One day, you will find someone even better than her, someone that actually understands your love for your family. This ex-girlfriend will be nothing more than a faint memory when you have an understanding wife.
2007-10-21 18:54:06 · answer #3 · answered by fliptastic 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is a little much. Personally since you saw her almost everyday and slept over several times a week she should have been a little more secure. Sure she was lonely or maybe just bored and there wasn't enough stimulation but an adult should be able to get through those times and it doesn't seem as if she was too mature yet. I am sure you still love her but it does not seem as if her love for you is as deep as yours. Perhaps in time she will learn to respect you for you and your family but perhaps not too.
2007-10-21 23:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did fine. If she can't understand your need to spend some time at home with your family, it is only because she spends so little time with hers. Once you find the right person and get married, you will spend a lot less time with your family and more with your wife but until then It is your family and you should spend time with them. good luck with the school work!
2007-10-21 18:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've done nothing wrong. She should understand that you miss your family also. Acually, I think she was looking for a reason to break up with you anyway. Move on, she's too selfish and smothering.
2007-10-21 19:14:26 · answer #6 · answered by I know a lil' bit about that 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Call me crazy but if she was my ex i wouldnt be spending a minute with her.
2007-10-21 18:49:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋