My girlfriend got raped and it's eating me up inside?

Question

My girlfriend didn’t show up to school, so I presumed she was sick because she went to a pool party with her friends on the weekend. So I called her house to see if she was alright and her mum said she hasn’t come out of her room since she got back from the pool party. So I went over, and they told me that she doesn’t want anyone to come in her room. So I went around and climbed up to her window and got inside and she was crying. And I convinced her to tell me what was wrong and she told me that she got raped at the pool party. She doesn’t want me to tell anyone, but it’s eating me up inside. I’ve offered to take her to counseling but she doesn’t want to because she finds it embarrassing to talk about. What do I do? I am the only one she has told. I come to her house every day after school and climb to her window to check on her.

Answer 1

She should tell the police NOW and put this SOB behind bars before he does it to some one else!

Answer 2

My friend you need to tell somebody what happened to her. She may get angry with you for telling but if she does not get any type of counseling it could lead to a very serious problem for her. She also needs to file a police report and have the guilty person arrested and prosecuted, this is the person that is dangerous to any other woman that he comes in contact with, if he feels as though he got away with it once he will surely do it again and who knows maybe the next time the innocent girl or woman could end up dead.

Aside from all that your girlfriend needs to be checked by the medical profession for possible diseases and an unwanted pregnancy. What ever you do just make sure you give her constant support and understanding, she has been through the most traumatic crime that a person can be put through.

Get her some professional support suggest she goes to planned parenthood for a check-up they will be able to assist her better then you can and they will do it confidentially in most all states.


Good luck and remember to love her and give her all the support she needs.

Answer 3

Wow, I'm really sorry you have to deal with this.

I honestly think you're doing the best you can do right now. Let's face it, climbing up through her window to make sure she's okay is pretty damn sweet, and I'm sure she knows and appreciates this.

DON'T force her to do anything she doesn't want to do, even if it's to go to the police. She was already forced into something, and you don't want to add to that. It's not going to help her trust in you, and what she needs the most now is someone that she can confide in and that she feels like she can trust. If you break her trust now or make her uncomfortable you risk her shutting you out for a while. The best way to gain and maintain her trust at this point is to just be there for her, let her know her options, and be willing to support her through whatever she does. Encourage her to let someone know, maybe, but don't push, and be sure you let her know that it's not going to affect how you see her (though considering you're climbing through her window, she probably already has that figured out to some extent). All you can do is be patient and support her.

Good luck, I hope things get better for you guys.

Answer 4

DO NOT go behind her back and tell her parents or the police without her consent. She is in a very fragile state and since you and the rapist are the only ones that know about it, you need her to come to terms with it and go to the authorities. It is most likely too late for a rape kit (where the police collect forensic evidence), but the police will be able to connect her to a rape counselor immediately. These people are trained specifically in this area.

First things first, get her to talk to someone. You can be there with her, but don't go behind her back. She needs someone she can trust.

Answer 5

The first and most important thing you can do for her - is be there for her. Which it seem you are doing. The next thing to do is tell her that she needs to tell not only for herself but to protect the other girls out there whom the rapist will go after next - and he WILL continue if he is not stopped. And third if she doesn't come forward talk to a school counselor. Although some would say tell her parents it's not your place to make her decisions for her. but a counselor can give you the best advice as to what to do. Another thing you can do if you know who the rapist is - is call crime stoppers. You don't have to leave a name and they can't do anything without a formal complaint - but they will sure have the guy on their radar.

Answer 6

You sound really sweet for caring for her
If you really are a true boyfriend, you WILL tell an adult
She may get mad at you, but think of it this way
If you don't tell another adult/police whoever raped her is never going to get justice
and he probably is going to go out there and rape more girls
She is still hurting inside and it is probably killing her.
Please convince her to tell someone else!
She should seek counselling because it will help her regain her strength. Even though it may be "embarassing", millions of women have seeked counseling for rape and i'm sure the counselors don't think it is weird.
Continue to show her that you care about her! :)

Answer 7

This is a very hard situation to be in. You have to understand how hard this is for her. She has been violated in the worst way she has to deal with this in her own way. And if you push her it can make matters worst so just try and be there for her, talk to her and let her cry on your shoulder this is what she needs right now.. But you do need to go to the police. Just remember that this shall pass and your relationship will be stronger than ever..Good Luck.. Peace and Love

Answer 8

The bastard that did it needs to be held accountable. HE's the one that needs to feel bad, not her. Reassure her that she's done nothing wrong and nothing to be embarrassed about, reassure her that you're furious at the perpetrator and that he must be brought to justice. She may feel that she did something stupid that put herself in a vulnerable place, but that's nothing next to the outright evil behavior of the perpetrator.

If she hasn't showered yet, she shouldn't - you should get to an emergency room where she can be inspected and have evidence gathered. If she can't bring herself to press charges, you need to at least spread the word about this rapist bastard so that the community knows what he is and shames him for it.

Answer 9

Oh my god. I am so sorry to hear that.

I know it might sound insensitive, but if she hasn't come out of her room then I assume she has not washed the panties she wore after she was raped. Tell her NOT TO WASH THEM they will still have his DNA on them if she put them back on after he raped her. You NEED to go to the police, even if she doesn't go. Take anything from the night that might have his dna on it and put it in a bag so it doesn't get lost.

Go to the police, tell them what happened, and that if possible you want to press charges.

Your girl friend cannot just stay in her room, she needs to go outside again and get help, she also needs to get revenge and if she has his DNA it is likely she can find him and he will be charged and sentenced!

You have got to do something about this. Tell her not to be embarassed, it is not her fault what happened, and she ZERO responsibility for it.

Even if she doesn't want you to, I think you should tell her parents and then the police, it is what's best for her, and if you really love her you will do it even if she says not to.

Answer 10

Fist thing you need to go do is smash the dude who did it... Street justice is the ONLY justice for child molesters and rapists. Otherwise they get a slap on the wrist. And you definitely need to be with her and show her you still love her no matter what happened to her. Dont just leave her hanging in her time of need or you will be SCREWED in the long run.

Answer 11

this is a really hard one...well no don't go breaking her trust and run to her parents...thats the worst thing you could do...But since she feels safe with you..u can really do the right thing...Find a clinic...go together...she needs to be tested...HIV/aids...hep...etc..all thoose nasty things as well and pregnancy..explain this to her...keep talking to her...explain to her she has rights...and her rights as in privacy will be respected...she will in time maybe feel ok enough to talk with her parents...pick her up some pamplets at the health clinic...get information...when she is ready she will do whats right...keep on her about going to the clinic just hold her hand along the way..moral support . is so very important right now...
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