I have been asking around some of my guy friends and sadly, they said if they had the opportunity to go out there into the world without their wives or girlfriend, they would definitely cheat. My husband wants me to go to Korea with him but the paperwork is taking so long. Should I go to Korea to be with my husband or should I stay here and go to college?
2007-10-21 17:35:54 · 29 answers · asked by Loving.You 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
DETAILS: I've had to put my dreams aside for some time now so we can get married. I figured maybe it was time for me to do something for myself. But our love and marriage is at stake (he cheated once but swore to never again when we got married) I love him. If I give up everything and go to korea, I believe our relationship will be stronger but if he cheats, I'm screwed with no education to back me up. If I stay and go to school, I will be able to help myself if anything should go wrong, but I may be putting our marriage in jeapordy...
2007-10-21 18:06:46 · update #1
If you want to stay married, go to Korea. It's as simple as that.
2007-10-21 18:05:15 · answer #1 · answered by VPOC 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
While the problem might seem limited to the military, it is the same problem that any couple faces if they spend a large amount of time apart. The separation will not create problems as much as it will amplify issues that may already exist. It would be better for your marriage if you go to Korea, which would be the truth if he was going to a different state. Ultimately you have to judge the strength of your marriage and your commitment to each other as well as the need for your need to meet your personal/professional goal (i.e. degree). Not everyone in the military cheats. One is that it is against the UCMJ and not openly condoned for married soldiers. Two is men are only as faithful as their options. It sounds like your young and a lot of young military marriages fall apart because the couple did not develop a foundation of trust before meeting obstacles like this. So have these kind of frank discussions with your husband before he leaves and when he's gone keep in close contact and let him know how important he is to you and he will do the same.
2007-10-22 00:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mullet-Man 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hey, Good Daze Ahead, hubby and I have 3 friends who have done tours in Iraq and Bahrain and guess what, they are married and cheated over there. They cheat with other females that they are in camp or barracks with. Its not that hard to do.
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Ok to answer the question. Coming from a military wife here, you signed up for this job when you married your husband. Even if you married him BEFORE he wanted to be in the military, the choice was made and you were aware of it. Don't be selfish because of paperwork and school. Paperwork takes a long time in the military, try getting in to see a military doc.
But your main reason listed above that the paperwork is taking too long so, your thinking of staying here, is you thinking of yourself and not your marriage as a unit. GO WITH YOUR HUSBAND. EVERY military base has college courses on it for enlisted and spouses, there is also online college that you can do from ANYWHERE regardless of where you actually live.
Don't be dumb. Go to Korea with your husband. He will need you while being so far away from home.
2007-10-22 00:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Why paint your picture with a broad stroke. I served long enough in the Air Force to know that Military personnel are exactly like a slice of the average civilian people. If x% of cilivan males cheat, then x% of military males cheat. If y% of cilivian females cheat, then y% of military females cheat. The same can be said about using Tide Soap, Brushing their teeth, or watching Law & Order.
As for Korea. I live in Okinawa Japan with my wife and two daughters for three wonderful years. As a teenager I got to go to High School in Naples Italy because my dad was stationed there. My Mother and sister were there also. You only get one chance at anything. Take it.
As far as you and your husband is concerned. If you feel that he will cheat if separated from you. You need help with your marriage. I have been married for 37 years and never considered cheating on my wife and don't believe she ever did either. Trust in marrage is important, if you don't trust each other than who can you trust? Someone who you don't know who answers your question on Yahoo Answers?
2007-10-22 00:55:35 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Waiting on paperwork for Korea too
However if YOU think he will cheat, then it does not even matter if he does or not, if you are not there and do not trust him, then he might as well do it, because if you believe he will you will destroy what you have anyway with suspicion, accusations, imagination anger and fear.
If you have a little trust and a lot of love just go and see for yourself.
Honey I trust mine, (11 years strong) I am a strong independent educated woman but miserable with out my other half so GO GO GO GO - like it has been said there is online and on post colleges everywhere.
2007-10-22 06:32:07 · answer #5 · answered by krisischool 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As a military spouse, no not all men in the military cheat but it is a good idea to go with your husband if you have the opportunity. I am a firm believer if you can go, go. That is something that I have always told myself. My step-dad got stationed in California and my mom stayed in North Carolina and they split up after he was gone for 18mos. Separation can sometimes change people. You can take online classes from Korea. Below is a link for tuition assistance for spouses accompanying their sponsors overseas. Good luck and definately sign up for classes. Almost 8 years ago when my husband was stationed in Georgia for 9mos for a military school after we were newly married, I took a break from school (after only 2 semesters) to be with (online classes exsisted but definately not as popular or as readily available as they are now). Soon after I went back to school, I found out I was pregnant and managed to finish an Associates degree only to go back 21/2 years later to find out that I was pregnant with twins. Now I am 26 years old and I am in my senior year of getting my BS in Early Childhood Education. You don't want to end up old like me and still in school so definately take some online classes and go with your husband. Good luck!!
2007-10-22 01:06:13 · answer #6 · answered by Theresa W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After years of being a military wife - no - not all military men cheat on their significant other. With all the deployments to the Middle East - where seperation is not a choice, but a must, I recommend going with your husband to Korea - who knows when he will get orders to a combat zone. You can always do online courses from Korea.
2007-10-22 00:44:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
I am sad to say that I have asked many of my Male Friends and they would if given the chance. What you should be asking, is are YOU strong enough to admit, and work through the problems WITH Your Spouse. Do you believe that YOU can get through it? If you Don't truly love each other than it won't work. You also need to do some MAJOR, SOUL searching. Can You forgive, and Forget? No ONE is perfect, it's just the amount of EFFORT, and Faith you have. I Thank God for my Life, He has helped me get through my struggles in life, and is still helping me. I never realized it until recently. But He's been there! I LOVE YOU THOMAS!
2007-10-22 01:08:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, not all men cheat on their wives while in the military, only the brazen ones do and only those who would have cheated anyway do, so put that out of your little head. If you can go, then go be with him but not for the above mentioned reason, but because you want to be with him to support him in all that he does for you and our country.
Oh and BTW, you can go to college there as well as here, so go with him and go to college and get your degree, you can also use Korean as your foreign language requirement for your degree and help you also communicate in your new home. Kill many birds with one stone.
2007-10-22 00:58:33 · answer #9 · answered by Sgt Little Keefe 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No they do not all cheat thats just not plausable. As much fun as sex is now keep with me because this might shock most people. Men and women can control their sexual urges and can concentrate on things far more important like commitment to a relationship or you know blowing stuff up. It doesent come down to cant it comes down to morals and caring about someone. If they care for you then no they wouldent cheat but if your nothing to them then yes they will. This has no grey area.
2007-10-22 01:22:41 · answer #10 · answered by SS4 Elby 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people in the military cheat. Women and men. Men and women spouse cheat when their spouse is away. Military members cheat when they are away.
But to say all Men cheat is like saying all women are evil or all women cannot drive.
Being our units marriage counselor, I saw more women cheating. And we were an all male combat unit.
2007-10-22 01:41:35 · answer #11 · answered by Rawbert 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋