lying parents. (take 2)?

Question

ok. you all misunderstood that last one and I got some RUDE answers.so let me try again. my parents would SAY that they don't have a favorite child, but in reality my "perfect" older brother is the favorite boy (there are 3 boys). (my only sister (8) get favored too, but my brother is worse.)
my brother is 20 and still has no job,(he has never had one) is living completely off my parents. my mom and dad pay for his school ($1500 per semester... community college) his gas, car, and his insurance. me, I'm stuck in the middle, with my other brother (who is just a pain in the neck). we get almost nothing we ask for... dad told me I have to pay for my own college because I don't want to go to the community college (where my brother goes and both my parents teach at), I will have to get a job the day I turn 18, and if I ever want to drive I have to pay for everything, even lessons.
I can't get a job until I can drive.
more coming....

live in such a small town that there are no jobs in (not even fast food. the ONE McD's is PACKED with mexicans and they won't hire anyone for over $5.00 per hour. I am NOT working for that!) so until I can drive the 35 miles to the next town I can't get a job. right now I work under the table for a local carpenter on the weekends. I also am dual enrolled in the community college which means I go to 2 schools. my GPA is 4.0, my older brother's is 1.4/1.5. if that weren't challenging enough, I also do 95% of the cooking and cleaning around the house, AND I have to act as the parent to my younger siblings because my parents are never around. I already know exactly what major I want in college. and that is culinary arts. in my town I am involved in about 6 different youth clubs and I am well known in all of them for my cooking. I already have $2000 in scholarships toward a culinary school.

my parents are wasting their money on my brother who is 20 and still has not idea what he wants to do. he has changed his major about 5 times costing us more money because he needs different classes for each major and he is doing so bad he might not even graduate. but do my parents care? NOOO!!!

my brother is NOT handicapped. just plain LAZY. he does not have any learning disabilities. he used to do better but then he stopped doing any homework and doesn't care anymore. and nether do my parents.

Answer 1

Parent's aren't always right and there's no such thing as a perfect parent. So where do you go from here?

You have to just that your parents are making the right decisions when it comes to all of you. It's hard to understand some times why our parents do what they do.

Your parents can see very clearly the difference between you and your brother. You are more independent and better able to take care of not only the others in the family, but yourself. You know where you're going and what you want to do. You have set your goals and from what you say you are sticking to them. You are also maintaining 4.0 grades in school now, which means you will be going on to college with scholarships and/or grants or financial add. Better keep those grades up there. I know you will, just teasing a little. Besides all that you already have a job.

Now look at where your brother is. You're already saying he's not going to make it. That he's changed his classes more than once. Do you think he knows where he's going or what he's going to do? If he doesn't get with it pretty soon, he'll be back on the chair living off your parents and working at the golden arches. The one place you refuse to work at. In other words you have a lot more going for yourself than your brother at 20 yrs old and that's pretty young. He's probably the one person who keeps you going and makes you more determined then ever to stick with your goals.

This is not to say your parents are totaly right with this situation, but it doesn't mean they're totaly wrong either. I suppose they could just kick him out and tell him to get a job, that they aren't going to help him out any more. You can take it to the bank, that your parents are praying that things turn around for you brother. They already know, your brother can't keep sitting on that chair for the rest of his life.

I know you're thinking, but what's fair about all of this. Not every thing is fair. You have to go with the over all situation.

Let me tell you som thing .... my mom had to kick me off the chair too. She let me sit for just so long after High School and one day she said, "don't you think it time to look for a job"? Guess I was just waiting for her to give be the boot. All I could think of when I was out there looking for a job was "I'm scared and I'm never going to make it." I was the youngest of four kids and the most dependent. Well I finally grew up and I'm here to tell you it all worked out. My two brothers and sister never held it against me and never complained to my mom about it.

Giver yourself a pat on the back, because you are as independent as you are. Your mom and dad depend on you, because they know you're able to make the right decisions.

You have all my support. You're going to make it ....................

Answer 2

wow, i feel ya.
I agree with most just work hard and not look back at this point.
You could try to talk with your parents but from the way it sounds your plea may just be ignored.

Parents do many times fantasize and have their favorite's
Take a positive spin to your situation.
The fact that you have to buss your chops for school and money its building a stronger character out of you.
So Thank them for not crippling you and making you weak by giving you all you ask of them.

If you ask me your the Favorite Son.

My mom did the same not very helpful with anything I asked..
I had to work so hard knowing I had no one to turn for help.
But now I have my life under control.
While my brothers still don't have it together.
In the long run your hard work will pay off.

Honestly what can we do but Laugh:
We can't choose the family we are born into~

Best of Luck to you..Cheer up

Answer 3

Good for you. What's the problem? Sounds like you're comparing apples to oranges. If your brother has a 1.4 GPA, then he obviously didn't qualify for scholarships, so where else was he going to get the money for school, since, as you pointed out, there are no jobs nearby? Your parents know you're networked in the community and have scholarship possibilities, so they can expect you to do more for yourself. That's life. Would you complain that a handicapped person got to park closer to the door just because they couldn't walk? Is that playing favorites, too?

Answer 4

Okay, some parents do have favorites, and your parents can deny it all they want, but it does seem like they favor your older brother. But would you rather they not lie to you? My brother-in-law's father told his family who his favorite kids were, and my brother-in-law was not one of them. He was not happy about it at all.

I suggest you work your butt off to achieve what you want. Who knows, perhaps your parents not favoring you like your older brother has made you who you are today. It has helped you learn that if you want something in life, you need to work for it. I come from a big family, and my parents did play favorites too, needless to say I am not one of them. I learned to work for what I wanted too. Your brother will probably learn that when your parents pass away and he no longer has anyone to depend on.

Answer 5

Sounds like someone is a bit selfish. You need to be thankful for what your parents DO give you and quit whining about what you perceive to be favoritism. Work hard at school and get a scholarship or go to a community college and then transfer to a 4 yr. Have you stopped to think that maybe your parents don't have as much money as you think they do??

Answer 6

Sorry but this is life. Parents make the mistake with the first one and then learn what not to do with the next. Its every family I know. You can't expect life to be fair all the time. As far as getting a job when you are 18 most states legally say that at 18 you are responsible for your bills and your parents are no longer financially obligated.

Answer 7

maybe you should try talking to your parents and telling them your problems and if they still don't see your way, ask them why they can't pay for your tuition when you already know your major and having a 4.0 and your brother paying for his own since he can't make a descsion. Obviously your brother needs to grow up and face life, he can't be babied forever. I don't know what else you can do if not just rough your way through it. Good luck.

Answer 8

well instead of sitting around whinning.. you with your 4point, go apply for full scholarships at different universitites. There is financial aid for a reason, even if you have to get a student loan.. I did this for myself and majority if not 99% of most universities the surrounding businesses hire students to help with tuition.. I worked 2 different jobs that were within walking distance of my campus... I didnt have a car (although I knew how to drive), but there were my roomies that never drove, we took our free time and borrowed someones old clunker and taught her and him how to drive. You can find friends there that will be sympathetic to your plight... I also lived off of 7/11 burritoes and ramen noodles for my first year, and I bought all my clothes at the goodwill.. it was hard, but I finally made it through... You can too if you are willing, so its your fault you are sitting at home complaining... Get your butt in gear and start writing those universitites.. (hey you have internet access, find them and write) Goodluck!

Answer 9

OK I don't want you to take this as rude....i am just going to give you a parents point of view....i am not saying what i am about to say may be the case but it may give you something to think about....OK here i go.........

Did you ever stop to think that maybe your parents don't want you to end up the way your brother is?....so they are making you work for it so you will have a better sense of accomplishment...and so the can be proud of you proving to them that you can do it.

Answer 10

Does your brother have learning problems? It sounds like he does because of his poor grades. If he has learning problems he might not be able to handle school and work together. Your parents are probably doing more for him because he can't do it for himself. My step-daughter is learning disabled and could not work while taking college classes.