As mentioned, my wife and I live in Brisbane. We've been here for a year and have been married for them same amount of time. I'm finishing Uni to become an electronics design engineering in a few weeks and got a job at Cinammon Park, and my wife wants to move to Northlakes. She wants to move there because our parents are on the Sunshine coast and wants to be closer to them. We're both family types of people, but jobs only pay the bills. It is approximately 1.5 hours worth of travel time (with traffic). The petrol will cost about $135 worth of petrol each week. My wife is extremely close to her parents, calls them a few times a day. (Which is another topic). Do you think I'm being unreasonably and should move closer to the Sunshine coast and travel? Or is my wife being unreasonable for limiting the possibilities of my career and making me travel. Thanks for your help. I have to mention that I have spoken to her about it, many times...but it hasn't gone too well...any of the 100 times.
2007-10-21 17:00:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you the only breadwinner in the family? Does your wife work? If she doesn't and expects you to commute 3 hours a day, she's being EXTREMELY selfish. If she doesn't care about your future career goals, then she's being completely unreasonable. Working is an everyday thing, visiting parents is not. Don't throw your career away--and trust me, the drive may be fine at first, but you will start to hate it and resent her for it. It's unnecessary! Put your foot down and stay put!
2007-10-21 17:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by * Kimberley * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not being unreasonable. commuting from home to work is not only expensive and bad for the environment, but it is stressful on you and wastes time that you could be doing other things with. it sounds like your wife needs to compromise more, and take your situation into consideration instead of fighting for decisions from which only she will benefit.
If you have talked to her 100 times and she is still not allowing you to make your point then maybe you need to go about it in a different manner or rethink your main argument. It sounds like she is very (unhealthfully) attached to her parents, which is ok i guess, but at the same time, she needs to grow up, try and live her own life, and think about your needs too.
2007-10-21 17:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definetely have the beginnings of a problem. You already know the answer to this but have trouble facing it.
To keep this short-----If you let her win at this, be prepared to lose the rest of your married life. I'm an older guy and with other guys my age, the ones who STILL have a problem are the ones who give in to the wife's unreasonable and emotional decisions.
Unfortunately, sometimes the guy just has to step up to the plate.....NO!!!
Your job as a husband and father is to provide a good, stable and financially secure environment..........Not to cater to her immature whims.
2007-10-21 17:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by Carl R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the question isn't whether you should move or not. The real question is how much do you love your wife? If the wife is happy, your happy. That's what Ive heard anyways. Ultimately it's a decision you have to make. Does your wife want to sacrifice the time it will take you to travel home every night with you? Can you sacrifice the drive to make your wife happy?
2007-10-21 17:16:08 · answer #4 · answered by katie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there not a mid-way point you could move to? My husband just got a job an hour away from where we are now. In order to keep the kids happy we are trying to find a mid-way point so that we can keep them a little closer to their friends and he will only have a 30 minute drive.
Try to compromise. It's hard being away from family, but honestly she will have to realize that you have to be where the money is.
Hang in there.
2007-10-21 17:06:37 · answer #5 · answered by mamabee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is nice if you can agree to all the wishes of your wife, but in this particular case, your job is at stake and it will affect both your financial future. That being said, you should take a firm stand as head of the family and expect her to understand the reason behind your decision to stay in the city.
2007-10-21 17:09:05 · answer #6 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being selfish,childish and unreasonable.
2007-10-21 17:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋