Im 16 and my parents are too protective especially my mom. she doesnt let me do anything.?

Question

i am a great kid... i have a 4.0, i have never been drunk or High, i have good friends, i have a job, and i am very responcible. everyone i ask says that my parents need to give me more freedom. i cant stay out late on weekends or go any where or do anything without asking them. its so annoying. my mom is embarrassing me on purpose and thinks its funny. i have tried talking to her, but it is no use. i can hardly stand it.

i only want to stay out till 11pm...and only on the weekend... is that to much to ask. no, i have been asking people at my work. many people wont even talk to me, they say i am guilty by relation with my mom. she has a reputation for being a kill joy and starting rumors.

Answer 1

I have a response to all the people that think that kids with good grade points only get them by their parents being controlling.

Let me just say a little something- When I was in highschool, I made straight A's. I was allowed to stay out as late as I wanted, because my parents trusted me, and knew that I wouldn't do anything stupid. I, myself have never smoked anything of any sort, and I have never been high.
I didn't even start drinking alcohol until I was 21. It just wasn't "cool" because my parents were OK with it if I wanted to do it. They would tell me "If you want to drink that's fine, but just don't go out driving anywhere."
And I listened- because my parent's gave me trust. I think most kids know that if they are given trust, that they only get one chance to break it, and then it ruins it forever.

I had a friend in your situation- and her parents were the same way until she was out of highschool. Guess what happened when she went to college? SHE WENT CRAZY!!! Because she had been cooped up all her life in a sheltered world, she just went nuts at college. She drinks, she smokes, she sleeps with random guys... she's a mess. So to everyone that says that sheltering your kids, and giving them no trust makes them 4.0 students that is not entirely the case. Some kids are VERY capable of making good decisions despite what their parents think.

Unfortunately for you, your parents are controlling. I am sorry to hear this. The thing I would suggest is ask your parents what they are afraid of by giving you some trust. See why they won't let you out until 11 pm? If you are responsible enough to keep up a good grade point, and steady job, then why would staying out until 11 change you all of a sudden?

By the way, I am now 22. I am in college earning my biology degree, and I make straight A's, and I also have 2 jobs. I am hardworking, and independent because my parents didnt baby me, or treat me like a kid my entire life.
People can only become responsible when you give them responsibility. Sometimes sheltering your kid can be bad in the longrun.
I love my parents to death, and I am glad they gave me freedom at a young age. It was pretty cool to be given so much trust at a young age. I wouldn't have dared to break it.

Good Luck with you and your parents.

Answer 2

Could it be that maybe she just worries about you.
The trouble with your friends is that they have no responcability, None.
Friends who would ride you about not being able to do anything you want aren't friends at all and when you get into trouble they will laugh behind your back.
I know I've been there and I've seen the laughing and funny thing is I never thought it was funny and usually ended not feeling well and going home myself.
I don't like those kinda people and niether should you.

Thing is my friend didn't even want to stay out late but they rode him about it till he just stayed out anyway.
And they laughed their asses off when his father came and dragged him off and started calling him names and stuff behind his back.
They knew he'd get in trouble and didn't even want him around anyway.
So I sat and quietly recorded this bull and played it for him.
That's the joy of having the old boom box as they called them, just reach down and press record.

They tried to get me to join in and I said I had to get going because I felt like puking and it must have been something I ate.
Hell they probably did the same behind my back.
Screw em

As long as mom and dad pay the bills for you and feed and clothe you, you have it made and if your lucky maybe they will even give you a free trip through college.
Don't blow it over a few jerks.

Myself I think my kids would have to be in by 8 on weekdays and no later then 10 on weekends but not till they are 13 before that they have 8 all week long.

They would all take some form of martial arts and be into gymnastics. Ok so I want them in good shape and able to kick butt but only if they really have to.
And if I could get away with it, No sex till after college.
Hey it's worth a shot, to protect them as long as I can, right.

Cheer up your life will start soon enough.
Think about what you'd want for your kids Kevin, if you could get away with it.
Which means if they don't do it any way.

Answer 3

i'm pretty much in the same boat. i'm 17, have a 4.0, a 2160 on the SAT, don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and i have a job. i'm not allowed to get my license til i'm 18.. my curfew is 11:30 (which i managed to finally secure when i was like 16 & a half, before it was 9) down to the minute, so if i come home at 11:32, i'm in trouble.. every single time i hang out with my boyfriend of 1 year, he has to come in and talk to my parents.. my parents force me to save half of each paycheck & today they found out i haven't been, they went through my whole entire room while i was at work.. they try to control the clothes i buy (and i don't dress like a skank, i dress very preppy & conservative).. i don't ask them for anything (money, clothes, or even shampoo or makeup), yet they call me spoiled constantly.. they blame everything that's wrong in the family on me.. it's basically emotional abuse & it caused me to have an eating disorder for 2 years. no matter how much i try to reason with my parents, they don't see me as a person with rights, and they don't appreciate what a good kid they have.
sometimes you can't do anything about it, but at least know that you're not alone in this.. :)

Answer 4

Well, how late are you allowed to stay out on weekends? Because that would help to know if she is actually being overprotective or not.
Also, since you are only 16 years old and still live under your mother's roof then you should ask her if you can go here or there out of respect. Just because you are 16 years old and can drive now doesn't mean you can run around until 3am or go anywhere you want at anytime.
I highly doubt your mother is embarrassing you on purpose- you will realize when you are older that your mom is just trying to protect you.
If you feel your mother is being unreasonable then calmly talk to her about it; however, remember to be polite and show her respect or she will not trust you.

Answer 5

First I would like to say that it sounds as if you have the greatest parents, at least years ahead of now you'll think so. Second, everyone that is telling you what your parents needs to do for you needs to be out of your circle. These friends are not going to get you through high school and they certainly will not get you a college degree.
I was once in your shoes. Imagine being popular in high school and not able to go anywhere but church, school, grocery store and working for your family's business-- a couple of friends were allowed to visit under supervision at all times too.
Its okay to be angry but try your hardest to not rebel because they hold a strict hand over you now because they want you to be safe, they expect the best out of you-- did you notice that you are on the right path to the future.
Keep in mind that your parents were both your age at one time and that now, they may be quite knowledgeable to what is really going on out there in the world.
They are both trying to protect you. Its your job to show that you can be trusted. Make smart decisions and take care of yourself. In another 5 years or so you will so appreciate your upbringing.

Answer 6

Sounds like they are just being good parents to me. How do you think you got that 4.0 and never been drunk or high at 16? Your PARENTS taught you better than that, that's why. You're ONLY 16 as in still a minor as in still their responsiblility they have a right to know where you are and who your with at all times. That's what GOOD parents do. and define 'late' does that mean they won't let you stay out till 11 or 12? or till 2 or 3am? Have you been asking people your age about your parents? cause if you are then of course they're going to say they need to give you freedom...they're not responsible enough to be parents...as far as embarassing you....every single kid on the planet with caring parents has had that happen to you...they'll grow out of it just as you'll grow out of thinking your parents are being unfair and thanking your parents for being good ones and helping you get to that 4.0 and not being drunk and high and doing bad things as a kid.

Answer 7

Well, I've been depressed lately and sometimes wishing I could die, but for different reasons: I'm in my 50s, am poor, have bills I can't pay, have a few illnesses like diabetes, and I lost my Medicaid. Life is a series of ups and downs. People can be wonderful in the morning and awful in the evening. You, too. That's part of being human. You have someone who told you "ur a better person than him cuz i know him and i know u," so at least one person out there thinks you're worthwhile. BTW, God loves you, too! Yes,the breakup is painful. However, I think the main thing that's getting you down is that you're restricted to a life of home, school, and homework, and that you're not allowed to do thing that you consider fun. I don't think this is fair. As Anita said in West Side Story, "Girls are free to have fun here; she is in America now!" As Cyndi Lauper sang, "Girls just wanna have fun." You might get an adult relative, like a grandmother, aunt, or older sister or brother, to advocate for you to your parents to give you a little more freedom. If you show your parents that you are responsible with schoolwork and chores at home, they may trust you to be responsible in fun, too. You could ask them to let you go to school functions like games and dances and clubs, or to church or community functions. You could do volunteer work in a field that interests you. Times of solitude are a part of life, too, and you need to learn to enjoy your own company. You need to nurture your mind, soul, and spirit. What do you like to do? Write? Draw? Sing? Take pictures? Cook? Do science experiments? Find things that you like to do while you're by your lonesome. If you like your own company, eventually you will attract friends and sweethearts who will also like your company and like the same things that you do. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 8

Is your mom being overprotective??? Probably. I went through the same thing. I think the best thing to do is to suffer through it until you are capable of living on your own. Just remember that it really is a TEMPORARY situation. The worst thing for you to do is to get bitter and act out. The only thing that would do is prove her right....trust me...I know. I had a 4.0....never drank..didn't have sex...and then I cracked...I just figured that if I was going to be accused of doing all of those things, I might as well do it... then I wound up pregnant at 20...had to quit college, couldn't get the guy I was in "love" with to marry me...I finally dug myself out, but it's been hard. Just remember that she really does love you and she thinks she is doing what is best for you...and the ultimate...YOU ONLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT FOR A COUPLE MORE YEARS!!! In the long run, it really is worth the nagging...trust me...

Answer 9

You might not be a 4.0 student and have such a clean behavior record if your parents were not like they are.
Can all of your friends make the same claims you make?
2 more yrs and you can do as you wish once you are on your own paying your own way,be patient and watch the lives of the friends who get to do what they want.

Answer 10

Have you ever though of this??

You would be nothing without your mom being the way she is. You would have not had your 4.0 either missy! you are only 16, there is plenty of time to stay out late..I think you should thank goodness you have a mom that cares about you and is looking out for you!

Maybe you could ask her if you could go the movies or hang out with friends but not stay out too late.